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Meryl Streep is inarguably America’s greatest living actress, and her staggering number of awards and award nominations definitely prove her reign. She has more Oscar nominations than any other actor — so far, she’s received twenty nods — and has won the award three times (twice for Best Actress, once for Best Supporting Actress). At this point in her career, she’s more likely to get nominated than not nominated.
Naturally, this being the Internet, it’s about time somebody took on the ambitious task of ranking all of her Oscar-nominated roles. But how could one do that? Surely such an effort would reveal the ranker’s personal preferences as opposed to any sort of objective criticism. How would I go about completing such a daunting job and maintaining an iota of authority over, say, literally anyone else?
Easy: science, you fools.
Well, “science,” but let’s not chat about semantics. I set out to offer a fair ranking that didn’t take into consideration, for example, my complete derision for The Iron Lady, for which she won her second Best Actress trophy, or my complete and utter love for Adaptation, for which she absolutely deserved the award for Best Supporting Actress. There must be some checks and balances in place, just so that I couldn’t take advantage of my omniscient abilities and stack my personal favorites at the top of the list. With great power comes great responsibility, as they say, which is why I developed a very complicated and vital point system in order to complete these rankings.
Each of Streep’s roles were judged according to the following factors: her accent, her fashion sense, her love interest, and the struggles with which she is faced. Each of these factors are given a ranking based on a one to five scale (with five points, naturally, meaning that she has the most difficult or accomplished accent, the utmost style, the best love interest, and the most arduous obstacles). Each role also receives points based on the film’s box office earnings. For more than $150 million, it gets five points; between $100 and $149 million, four points; between $75 and $99 million, three points; between $50 and $74 million, two points; and less than $50 million earns the film one point.
Are there bonus points, you ask? Oh, there are bonus points. Five points are awarded if Streep won the Oscar for that role. I also give five points if Streep sings in the role. (Sorry, Mamma Mia! is not eligible as she was, thankfully, not nominated for it. Kinda bummed about Death Becomes Her, I’ll admit.) I also give a point if she plays a real person and/or if she plays a villain. (Fun fact: she’s very good at playing villains.) I also give bonus points at my discretion (and I’ll explain my reasons below for each role) mostly because, despite my attempts at an objective ranking, this is still all based on my personal decisions and you’re just going to have to deal with it (or, I dunno, call me an idiot on Twitter? Bring it on).
So, where will your favorite of Meryl Streep’s Oscar-nominated roles stack up? Do you even have one? Can you even name all of them? After reading this, maybe you will! Godspeed.
'Music of the Heart' (1999)
ROLE: Roberta Guaspari
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Hilary Swank for Boys Don’t Cry.
ACCENT: Not much to speak of. 1 POINT
FASHION: What fashion? 1 POINT
LOVE INTEREST: Aidan Quinn. She could do worse, I guess. 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: After her husband leaves her, she moves to East Harlem to teach inner-city kids how to play string instruments (/ be a typical white savior in an inspirational, feel-good movie). But then her program is cut. And somehow she’s still the one hurting here? 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A disappointing $14.8 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing a real person.
TOTAL: 7 POINTS
'Doubt' (2008)
ROLE: Sister Aloysius Beauvier
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Kate Winslet for The Reader.
ACCENT: The Bronx / scary Catholic school. 2 POINTS
FASHION: You know, nuns can sometimes be kind of glamorous, but whatever order this lady belongs to also forces its nuns to wear hats that were cast-off from a local community college’s production of The Crucible. 1 POINT
LOVE INTEREST: I mean, Jesus? God? The Holy Ghost? None? Let’s go with none. 0 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: It seems like she’s certainly struggling with not being a total bitch all the time and failing at it. Also, a crisis of faith. (OK, fair.) 2 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: $50.1 million, which is shocking to me. 2 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: 1 POINT for playing the villain.
TOTAL: 8 POINTS
'The French Lieutenant's Woman' (1981)
ROLE: Sarah Woodruff / Anna
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Katharine Hepburn for On Golden Pond.
ACCENT: Generally British? I mean, it’s fine. 2 POINTS
FASHION: She gets some range here, since she’s playing two women — one in the Victorian era, one an actress in modern day (circa 1980). The actress (Anna) is pretty plain, whereas Sarah Woodruff (the titular character) at least rocks that bitchin’ cape. This is even more goth than Into the Woods! 4 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: She gets two, but they’re both Jeremy Irons. Still, two Jeremy Irons is better than no Jeremy Irons. 3 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Social disgrace and romantic disappointment? Man, the Brits are way too melodramatic. 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: $26.8 million. Not bad for this kind of movie, I guess. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for doing double-duty as Sarah and Anna.
TOTAL: 12 POINTS
'August: Osage County' (2013)
ROLE: Violet Weston
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine.
ACCENT: Oklahoman? Easy. 1 POINT
FASHION: Mostly funereal, although that is a pretty good wig. 2 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Usually I’d give it up for Sam Shepard, but the guy kills himself just after the first scene, leaving his pill-popping asshole of a wife, his three daughters, and their extended family to sit around and scream at each other. I mean, I get it, but dude, you gotta pick up some slack! 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Drug addiction. Mouth cancer. Shitty childhood. Dead husband. Annoying sister. Oklahoma. Still, she’s one of the meanest women to appear on screen. 4 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A surprising $74 million. Never underestimate Oscar-bait with a star-studded cast. 2 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing the villain. And oh, what a villain she is.
TOTAL: 12 POINTS
'One True Thing' (1998)
ROLE: Kate Gulden
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Gwyneth Paltrow for Shakespeare in Love.
ACCENT: Unfortunately, being super sweet isn’t an accent. 1 POINT
FASHION: Nothing much to think of, as it’s very ’90s housewifey. But she does rock some killer turbans later in the film as well as a pretty good Dorothy costume. 2 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: She’s married to a self-absorbed and philandering novelist and college professor played by William Hurt. He’d be attractive if he wasn’t such a schmuck. 3 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Cancer. Automatic 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A small $26.6 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: Hell, I’ll give her recognition for only playing cancer-stricken once in her career. (OK, technically she also had cancer in August: Osage County, but this was FOR REAL.) 1 POINT
TOTAL: 13 POINTS
'Florence Foster Jenkins' (2016)
ROLE: Florence Foster Jenkins
DID SHE WIN? To be determined (but it’s doubtful).
ACCENT: It’s…something. A strange mixture of upper-crust society lady with a dash of Transatlanticism? I’ll allow it. 2 POINTS
FASHION: The Real Housewives of New York would probably be positively aghast (some Bravo writer would have them say that) at the massive frocks Jenkins sported (I can imagine there were some girdles), but she does get some pretty crazy stage outfits. 2 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Hugh Grant. Usually I’d be impressed, but he’s old Hugh Grant and he’s busy cheating on her with some hot downtown side piece. 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: She’s a privileged New York society lady who lives in such a crazy bubble that her friends and loved ones all keep her in an ivory tower of delusion in which she’s convinced she’s a brilliant singer. But also: her first husband gave her syphilis on their wedding night and now her body is literally falling apart. That really sucks! 2 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: $44.3 million, which is actually pretty respectable considering this movie, but, again, fairly low. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: She gets 5 POINTS for singing, and I’ll throw in 1 POINT for singing so badly so well.
TOTAL: 15 POINTS
'Julie & Julia' (2009)
ROLE: Julia Child
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side.
ACCENT: She definitely nails Julia Child’s voice, whatever the hell it is. (Muppet, perhaps?) 3 POINTS
FASHION: It’s very blousy, but also apron-y — and plentiful twin sets, as this is a Nora Ephron movie. A little dowdy for my tastes, but she adds some pearls on occasion as an attempt at flair. 2 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Stanley Tucci. I mean, it could be much worse. At least he’s a whiz in the kitchen! 3 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Well, she’s living in Paris in the 1950s (as a SPY, not that this movie would tell you that!) and just wants to cook SO BAD. And the French are mean to her, because they are French! But then she learns to cook and writes a book about it and becomes super famous. I mean, bless her heart, but none of this was so bad. 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: $129.5 million. You go, girl. 4 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: 1 POINT for playing a real person, and 1 POINT For not being Julie Powell.
TOTAL: 15 POINTS
'The Iron Lady' (2011)
ROLE: Margaret Thatcher
DID SHE WIN? Yes!
ACCENT: It’s British, all right, complete with clunky phrasing because of fake teeth. 2 POINTS
FASHION: The big ’80s bureaucrat hair with a schoolmarm / lady conservative politician garb only makes it look like she’s going to scold or your possibly ship you off to the Falklands. 1 POINT
LOVE INTEREST: The annoying ghost Jim Broadbent. Hard pass. 1 POINT
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Yeah, yeah, feminism or whatever, but also she made life pretty terrible for a lot of people, too. 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A pretty tight $115 million — did any of that trickle down? 4 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She gets 5 POINTS for winning, 1 POINT for playing a real person, and 1 POINT for playing the villain. (Yeah, I said it.)
TOTAL: 16 POINTS
'Into the Woods' (2014)
ROLE: The Witch
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Patricia Arquette for Boyhood.
ACCENT: The continental type typically employed by musical theater actors. 1 POINT
FASHION: She looks phenomenal in the second half, but is dressed in rags and covered in prosthetics in the first. Plus, this lady couldn’t cast a spell on a comb or something? 3 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Herself, who kinda sucks. 1 POINT
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: She’s an evil witch who was turned ugly after someone else stole her magic beans. Bad luck, for sure, but she didn’t necessarily make any efforts to pay it forward. All she had to do was look on the bright side and put forward some positive energy, but nooooo, she just went and made her neighbors infertile and then locked her beloved daughter (whom she stole, by the way) in a tower. Rude! 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: An impressive $212.9 million. 5 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: 5 POINTS for singing, plus 1 POINT for playing the villain.
TOTAL: 17 POINTS
'Ironweed' (1987)
ROLE: Helen Archer
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Cher for Moonstruck.
ACCENT: From upstate New York with a tinge of Irish? It’s solid. 3 POINTS
FASHION: The homeless, wino look is so 1933. 1 POINT
LOVE INTEREST: On the one hand, it’s Jack Nicholson. On the other, he’s a schizophrenic, alcoholic bum. She could do better! 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Well, she’s homeless, for starters. She looks terrible. And at one point she has to get some old creep a hand job just so she can sleep peacefully in a car. 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A paltry $7.3 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: 5 POINTS for singing “He’s Me Pal”!
TOTAL: 17 POINTS
'Postcards From the Edge' (1990)
ROLE: Suzanne Vale
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Kathy Bates for Misery.
ACCENT: Nope, none. (You couldn’t even mimic Carrie Fisher a little bit, Meryl?) 1 POINT
FASHION: She’s a movie star! A slightly washed-up one, for sure, but she’s got some pretty great hair here. 4 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Mmmm, Peak Dennis Quaid! But his character sucks. 4 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: She’s addicted to drugs and she’s got an overbearing mother who’s actually more obsessed with sequined gowns, booze, and wigs than her daughter. But still, there’s a pretty strong poor-little-rich-girl narrative going on here, so my sympathies are limited. CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, Ms. Vale! 2 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A meager $39 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing a real person (Carrie Fisher, only taller and blonder) and 5 POINTS for crooning the hell out of “I’m Checkin’ Out.”
TOTAL: 18 POINTS
'The Deer Hunter' (1978)
ROLE: Linda
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Maggie Smith for California Suite.
ACCENT: Look, I’ve been to Pittsburgh. Linda does not sound like she’s from Pittsburgh. 1 POINT
FASHION: She spends an unfortunate amount of time in that ungodly bridesmaid dress, but still: she’s absolutely stunning in this movie. 4 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Christopher Walken and Robert De Niro? Get it, girl. 5 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Her fiancé goes to Vietnam and is captured, only to become a Russian Roulette enthusiast. That’s pretty bleak, you guys. 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A not-terrible $49 million, but still not much to brag about. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: She starred alongside her partner, John Cazale, who died shortly afterward from lung cancer. 4 POINTS, because that breaks my heart.
TOTAL: 20 POINTS
'Adaptation' (2002)
ROLE: Susan Orlean
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Catherine Zeta-Jones for Chicago.
ACCENT: Wikipedia (which is always right) tells me that Susan Orlean is from Cleveland, but I didn’t detect much of a Midwestern accent from La Streep. 1 POINT
FASHION: Very blousy, in an Upper West Side kind of way. 3 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Chris Cooper brings a Floridian craziness to the character of John Laroche, who is rugged and handsome in theory but is also missing quite a few teeth. 3 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: All she wanted to do was write interesting and quirky stories for The New Yorker, not get swept up in an orchid theft / drug ring! Still, her white privilege keeps me from letting her off the hook. 2 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: Only $32.8 million. Disappointed in you, America. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: 1 POINT for playing a real person, and 1 POINT for playing a villain. I’m also giving her 3 POINTS for getting high as helllll on some of that sweet, sweet orchid dust, plus 5 POINTS because I still think she should have won for this one. (Deal with it, Catherine Zeta-Jones.)
TOTAL: 20 POINTS
'A Cry in the Dark' (1988)
ROLE: Lindy Chamberlain
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Jodie Foster for The Accused.
ACCENT: That piercing Australian accent that sounds like daggers slicing through the air headed straight to your eyeballs? 5 POINTS
FASHION: Sorry, Lindy, but frilly maternity dresses are not a good look on you, and neither is that haircut. (To be honest, I think my hair looked like that when I was about three years old.) 1 POINT
LOVE INTEREST: Sam Neill, thousands of miles away from Jurassic Park’s Alan Grant. 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Well, her baby is still dead, whether she did it or if a dingo did snatch it in the night. Plus, the media frenzy that ensued feels like it came right out of Jon Ronson’s book about public shaming. 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A paltry $15 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: 1 POINT for playing a real person, and 1 POINT for playing a villain (those look like Disney witch eyebrows, let’s be honest). But she also gets 5 POINTS for a truly phenomenal catchphrase that was even parodied on Seinfeld.
TOTAL: 21 POINTS
'The Devil Wears Prada' (2006)
ROLE: Miranda Priestly
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Helen Mirren for The Queen.
ACCENT: There isn’t much of one to speak of, even if she talks like a pretentious a-hole. 1 POINT
FASHION: Uh, doyeeeee. 5 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: I mean, herself? I’ll give her something for that. 2 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Uh, yeah, I think she’s doing just fine for herself. (If I could give NEGATIVE POINTS, I would.) 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A whopping $326.5 million! 5 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing the villain, as well as 1 POINT for playing a real person (Anna Wintour — it counts!). And I’m going to be generous and give her another 5 POINTS because she should have won for this one. How often does a great actor get to play a supporting character with so much gusto and flair that it turns into a lead? (Bite it, Anne Hathaway.) Plus, Helen Mirren keeps getting awards for playing the same damn character and I’m tired of it.
TOTAL: 21 POINTS
'Silkwood' (1983)
ROLE: Karen Silkwood
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Shirley MacLaine for Terms of Endearment.
ACCENT: Oklahoman, again. 1 POINT
FASHION: A lot of t-shirts and jeans and radiation pantsuits. Plus, you’re always going to look like a schlub next to Cher. 2 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Kurt Russell! Kurt Russell! Kurt Russell! Kurt Russell! Kurt Russell! 5 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: No deaths in the family, but she does get exposed to radiation in the nuclear power plant where she works, is forced to endure a humiliating scrub-down, is blamed for contaminating herself and her coworkers when she acts as a whistleblower when she reveals the dangers of her work environment, and is also probably murdered. 4 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: A not-great $35 million. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: 1 POINT for playing a real person, 5 POINTS for singing (she faintly croons “Amazing Grace” in that memorable last scene), and an extra 3 POINTS for rocking that mullet. It has a Klute sort of vibe to it, right? (But, like, if some lady in Oklahoma asked her hair stylist for the Klute cut.)
TOTAL: 22 POINTS
'Kramer vs. Kramer' (1979)
ROLE: Joanna Kramer
DID SHE WIN? Yes!
ACCENT: What accent? 1 POINT
FASHION: I dig the late ’70s vibe. It’s a very day-to-evening look — or at the very least a couples-therapy-to-consciousness-raising look. 3 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: I mean, technically it’s Dustin Hoffman, but she ditches him in the beginning. 1 POINT
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: She chooses to leave her husband and her son to find herself, and then comes back to try to take her son with her. She’s forced to sit through personal attacks in court about her character, and she’s a generally flawed and conflicted woman with realistic feelings and desires. But she’s mostly made out to be a TERRIBLE WOMAN because she DARED to leave her son behind. 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: This was a big hit, earning $106 million against its $8 million budget. 4 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing a villain, 5 POINTS for winning the Oscar (her first!), and 3 POINTS for putting up with Dustin Hoffman. You know that took a lot of effort.
TOTAL: 23 POINTS
'Out of Africa' (1985)
ROLE: Karen Dinesen
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Geraldine Page for The Trip to Bountiful.
ACCENT: I’m not quite sure what it is, but it is impressive. (I love a good generally European voice, don’t you?) 4 POINTS
FASHION: Uh, the safari chic? Yes, please. 5 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Robert Redford, hello? Never has a hair-washing looked so sexy. 5 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Uh, rich white lady goes to Africa, bones Robert Redford, and then returns to Europe to write about it. What’s the struggle here? 1 POINT
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: Weirdly, this movie pulled in $128 million. It was a popular hit, even if not a critical success — but it still won Best Picture (among six other Oscars). 4 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She gets 1 POINT for playing a real person (novelist Isak Dinesen), and while it might not be on the level as “The dingo ate my baby,” “I bought a faaaaahm in Aaaaafricaaaaa” is a catchphrase in my house — even if the actual line is “I had a faaaaahm in Aaaaafricaaaaa.” (Hi, Mom!) 4 POINTS
TOTAL: 24 POINTS
'The Bridges of Madison County' (1995)
ROLE: Francesca Johnson
DID SHE WIN? No, she lost to Susan Sarandon for Dead Man Walking.
ACCENT: She’s Italian, but not, like, Godfather Italian. She’s somehow a real Italian woman stuck in the middle of nowhere, Iowa, and she makes it feel so true with that brilliant voice. 5 POINTS
FASHION: There’s only so much she can do with Iowan Housewife Realness, but she pulls it off to the best of her ability. 3 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: Mmm, Robert Kincaid. A photographer. He’s worldly. He’s like the Marlboro Man, but probably won’t get emphysema. Unfortunately, he’s also Clint Eastwood. Life is always out of balance. 4 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: She gave up her interesting Italian life by the sea to move to a farm in Iowa, where she had a rather distant husband and two annoying kids. And then she met a man with whom she was truly in love, but gave it all up to stick with her family. I mean, that’s a tough choice. 4 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: This movie pulled in $182 million at the box office, which is not surprising since it was practically the Fifty Shades of Grey of the ‘90s. 5 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: She keeps it sexy over 40. 5 POINTS for that.
TOTAL: 25 POINTS
'Sophie's Choice' (1982)
ROLE: Sophie Zawistowski
DID SHE WIN? Yes!
ACCENT: Oh my God, this one is like a master class. Streep auditioned for this one multiple times even though the producers wanted to go with a European actress. So then she showed up and completely nailed the Polish accent and they gave it to her. 5 POINTS
FASHION: You know, Sophie is really lovely in the post-War segments, which balances out the whole sullen Holocaust look she wears for most of the flashbacks. 4 POINTS
LOVE INTEREST: On the plus side, it’s Kevin Kline — young Kevin Kline, sporting a pretty foxy mustache. On the other hand, he’s an abusive schizophrenic who beats her. So. 3 POINTS
PERSONAL STRUGGLE: Uh, you know what the “choice” is, right? 5 POINTS
BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS: Surprisingly, a movie about the Holocaust’s traumatizing effects on the human psyche and the complicated nature of an abusive relationship did not make a ton of money. 1 POINT
BONUS POINTS: 5 POINTS because she won the Oscar for Best Actress (her second win overall, but her first in this category), plus 5 POINTS because she speaks three damn languages with a Polish accent. Why don’t you give it a try sometime?
TOTAL: 28 POINTS
(EDITOR’S NOTE: The original version of this story ran back on June 22, 2015; the author updated this copy with a fresh take on Florence Foster Jenkins, Meryl’s 20th nomination.)
Tyler Coates is the Culture Editor at Esquire.com, and you can follow him on Twitter: @tylercoates.
