Here’s Who the ‘Fear the Walking Dead’ Cast Would Be if They Were on ‘The Office’

Mixing together the world of Fear the Walking Dead and a pseudo-documentary format was always going to be an odd fit. Yet you can’t help but laud the team for attempting the meld on this week’s “Channel 4,” which found the gang putting together a 30 minute long documentary/informercial to prove to potential allies why they’re good people, and should be trusted.

Only problem? The entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about which characters the Fear the Walking Dead cast would be, if they were on The Office.

Spoilers for Fear the Walking Dead “Channel 4” past this point.

The plot finds newswoman Althea (Maggie Grace) filming the group as they go on a rescue mission to help save a woman and her son, who are trapped by a series of land mines outside their house. This leads to a bunch of fun visuals involving exploding zombie parts, and the requisite “oh no, someone stepped on a land mine” plot. But it also leads to a lot of awkward questions, like: where did they find all this videotape; how are they charging all these camera batteries on the fly; and how much time did Althea have to spend editing this supremely long documentary together? Not to mention, other than the one VCR in their truck-stop base, who has access to VHS technology at this point in the zombie apocalypse?

In fact, without lumping on it too much (again, I respect their ambition), multiple times throughout the episode characters say, “hey, shouldn’t we stop filming?” to which Morgan (Lennie James) unfailingly replies some variation on “no, people need to see this.” Which I sort of get but at the same time I don’t think anyone is going to be encouraged to trust the group by watching footage of Morgan dying in a land mind explosion.

In any case, it all works out mostly fine… They confusingly include a section where they torment antagonist Logan (Matt Frewer), which also wouldn’t encourage people to hop on board but helps the plot, because we switch from the mockumentary format in the last act to show how Logan is bringing the fight to them. But again, I kept picturing The Office while watching this, so in the interest of getting this out of my brain and onto the internet, here’s who would be who, if we ever got The Walking Dead: Scranton.

John Dorie = Jim Halpert
Who else would be Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) than John Dorie (Garret Dillahunt)? They’re both funny — and know it — frequently check in with the camera, and always have to clean up everyone else’s mess. And they both don’t want to be in charge, despite having the smarts and talent to do so.

June = Pam Beesly
Probably not a total one to one comparison, but both June (Jenna Elfman) and Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer) are nice, reasonable people in love with John/Jim, though initially they had a very on-again, off-again relationship. Also their real names are both Jenna.

Alicia Clark = Darryl Philbin
Though Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) has recently been training with Morgan, most of the time she wants everyone to leave her alone, while everyone is pretty much totally obsessed with her, just like Darryl (Craig Robinson).

Daniel Salazar = Creed Bratton
Let’s be honest: both Daniel Salazar (Rubén Blades) and Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton) are crazy old men with an unending well of secrets in their pasts who definitely killed a lot of people.

Victor Strand = Kelly Kapoor
Like Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), Victor Strand (Colman Domingo) is constantly hatching crazy plots and schemes that he believes will succeed purely powered by his unerring faith in his own talent.

Althea Szewczek-Przygockil = Ryan Howard
Althea, as we saw in this week’s episode, is sticking with technology despite the world having clearly moved on. Ryan Howard (BJ Novak) is the same, pushing his own agenda despite all logic pointing in the other direction.

Morgan Jones = Erin Hannon
Morgan and Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper) are both earnest to a fault, support everyone on their team no matter what, and are definitely crazy.

Sarah = Meredith Palmer
Sarah (Mo Collins), like Meredith Palmer (Kate Flannery) is usually drunk or thinking about getting drunk, and always ready to party. In fact, here’s a photo of them goofing off together at the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance’s Comedy For A Cure benefit in 2014 to prove my point:

Grace = Angela Martin
As a relatively new character, it’s still tough to pin Grace (Karen David) down. But like Angela Martin (Angela Kinsey), she’s driven, super serious, upset and angry all the time — though Angela is pissed off about office minutiae, while Grace is mostly upset people keep irradiating themselves.

Wendell = Phyllis Lapin
Wendell (Daryl Mitchell) is definitely the Phyllis Lapin (Phyllis Smith) of the group, staying in the background most of the time until he’s ready to come out with something fiery, surprising, and usually hilarious.

Charlie = Gabe Lewis
Initially Zach Woods’ Gabe Lewis, Charlie (Alexa Nisenson) was on the side of the “bad guys” but ultimately won over by the gang.

Dwight = Dwight Schrute
They have the same name, and somebody had to be Dwight. Sorry, Dwights!

Where to stream Fear the Walking Dead

Where to stream The Office