Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Heartbreak High’ On Netflix, An Aussie Series About A High School Class Getting Shaken Up By A “Sex Map”

Heartbreak High was a popular teen series in Australia in the 1990s, so a reboot of the series is a risky proposition. But just like rebooting shows like Saved By The Bell and Rebelde, making the show suitable for 2022 gives the people rebooting the show a lot of leeway to introduce new characters and relationships.

HEARTBREAK HIGH: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: A 5-year-old walks in to class on her first day of school. She sees another girl drawing a crocodile. “It’s shit,” she tells the other girl. The other girl flips her the bird, and they immediately become best friends.

The Gist: Amerie (Ayesha Madon) and Harper (Asher Yasbincek) have been inseparable since then, and basically do everything together. One of the biggest things they’ve done now that they’re at Hartley High is create and maintain a “sex map” in an abandoned stairwell of their school building. Through rumors and observation, they have mapped out who in their class has hooked up with whom, sometimes giving observations, like that a girl named Quinni (Chloe Hayden) has “kebab flaps.” They include themselves on the map, especially when Amerie draws a yellow line of hope between her name and Dusty (Josh Heuston), her longtime crush.

After something bad went down between the friends at a music festival near the end of the summer break, Amerie hasn’t heard from Harper. On the first day of school, however, the worst thing possible happens: the sex map is found. Of course, everyone in the class is curious about what it says, and some relationships fundamentally change because of it. The principal (Rachel House) knows that Amerie is responsible, but Amerie won’t give up Harper, despite the fact that, just before she was outed because of the board, she sees a newly-angry and short-haired Harper, who completely ignores her.

Amerie is suddenly an outcast, hated by everyone in the class for outing their sex lives. She gets into a fight with Harper as she tries to figure out why her bestie hates her. Alarmed by all of the sexual activity going on at the school, the principal institutes an after-school sex ed course; the instructor, JoJo Obah (Chika Ikogwe), is dismayed at how old-fashioned the material for the class is.

It seems that the only two people who don’t hate Amerie are Quinni, who went into deep-dive research over the various sizes of women’s labias after seeing the “kebab flaps” remark, and Darren (James Majoos), who berates their stepfather for using the wrong pronouns but dons their secret boyfriend’s prep school uniform to apply for a job. At the local “kids stand around and drink” party at the local graveyard, Amerie, Quinni and Darren show up, and it seems that, despite being an outcast, Amerie has the attention of both Dusty and new kid Malakai (Thomas Weatherall).

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? Heartbreak High is a reboot of the 1994-99 series of the same name, though this version feels closer to Never Have I Ever than its original version.

Our Take: This new version of Heartbreak High certainly strives to be more inclusive, with more BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ characters than the original, but the show is still fundamentally about high school relationships of all kinds, be they romantic, platonic or sexual. It’s mostly enjoyable, especially because we’re seeing all of this play out mostly from Amerie’s perspective after she was outed as the creator of the sex map, but we have a particular issue that might keep us from fully getting into the show.

Let’s talk about the sex map first. It’s a pretty ingenious way that creators Hannah Carroll Chapman, Ben Gannon and Michael Jenkins can rapidly introduce viewers to all the main characters in the class and what their situations are. And it’s also a good reference point as we continue to revisit the various friendships and relationships in this class. The sex ed class also helps, as we’re introduced to a few other people, like a super-senior named Ca$h (Will McDonald), a ladies’ man named Spider (Bryn Chapman Parish) and others.

It’s also good to see Amerie fall in with a new group of friends that seems to be more suited to her than Harper ended up being. Let’s face it: Even longtime friends can grow apart in high school, and this seems to be a good way of illustrating that. But we don’t want to see Amerie on Outcast Island all alone, so it’s good that she’s found new allies to hang with.

But Amerie’s falling out with Harper is what has us flummoxed. The idea is that the week or so in between that music festival and the start of school not only ruined their friendship for good but led Harper to completely change her look and personality. Amerie claims to not know what she did to piss off Harper as much as she did, and every time she asks Harper basically tells her to piss off. Then we see bits and pieces of what went on during the festival, without any hint as to how the rift occurred.

That kind of piecemeal storytelling feels incongruous with how the rest of the series is. We don’t need to solve a mystery here; just show us how the rift happened and then have Amerie spend the season trying to mend things. Spreading the mystery of this rift and Harper’s change throughout the season just feels like an unnecessary tease that didn’t need to be there.

Sex and Skin: Lots of talk, of course, but the only person we see naked is Darren as they get up from their boyfriend’s bed.

Parting Shot: As Amerie dances her depression away, we see someone draw a line between Dusty and Harper’s names, with the word “fucked” written on the line.

Sleeper Star: We thought it was funny when Chloe Hayden, who plays Quinnie, shoves all of her labia research into Spider’s hands at the cemetery party. We get the feeling tha she’s going to be the show’s comic relief MVP.

Most Pilot-y Line: When Darren’s boyfriend more or less breaks up with him, Darren yells out “Your room smells like cum-socks and corn chip farts, anyway!” Ewwww.

Our Call: STREAM IT. Despite one of the main plotlines being a bit wonky, Heartbreak High is a funny show with well-drawn characters. They just happen to hook up a lot.

Joel Keller (@joelkeller) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, RollingStone.com, VanityFair.com, Fast Company and elsewhere.