Sam Neill Speaks Candidly On His Cancer Journey: I’m “Not Remotely Afraid” Of Death

Actor Sam Neill has spoken on his cancer journey, revealing the only thing that scares him more than dying: retirement.

The 76-year-old actor has been battling a rare form of blood cancer known as angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma. But in a new interview with Australian Story, Neill revealed he is trying his best not to dwell on it.

“I know I’ve got it, but I’m not really interested in it,” he said. “It’s out of my control. If you can’t control it, don’t get into it.”

He has now been in remission for 12 months, but still undergoes infusions every two weeks, a process that he says can be “very grim and depressing” and leaves him feeling like he’s “gone 10 rounds with a boxer.”

“But it’s keeping me alive,” he said.

The actor even added that he’s “prepared” for the treatments to stop working one day, a possibility his doctors have warned him about. While he claimed he’s “not remotely afraid” of death, the idea of retiring “fills me with horror.”

Neil was unable to work while undergoing chemotherapy, so he searched for another project to put his energy towards. “I started to think I better write some of this down because I’m not sure how long I have to live,” he said. “I was running against the clock.”

He said he created his recent memoir, Did I Ever Tell You This?, to leave his children and grandchildren with “a sense of me.”

“I thought it would be great for them to have some of my stories,” he said. “I mightn’t be here in a month or two. We’ll leave something for them.”

The Jurassic Park star has continued acting since he took a pause to receive chemotherapy. At the time of the interview, he was filming Apples Never Fall alongside Annette Bening on the Gold Coast. He’s even continued working on his vineyard in New Zealand and going on dates.

Neill explained that dying at this stage in his life would be “annoying” because he still feels like he has things to do. But his cancer diagnosis has changed his perspective on life.

“I started to look at my life and realize how immensely grateful I am for so much of it,” he said.