[CORNY COLLINS, spoken]
And now, broadcast live in front of a live studio audience for the first time from the certified, up-to-code WYDT Studio, it's the Corny Collins Miss Hairspray Spectacular!

[GIRLS, spoken]
He's Corny!

[CORNY COLLINS, spoken]
Brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!

[CORNY COLLINS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
What gives a girl power and punch?
Is it charm, is it poise? No, it's hairspray
What gets a gal asked out to lunch?
Is it brains, is it dough? No, it's hairspray

[CORNY COLLINS, GIRLS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
If you take a ride (Ooh-ooh-ooh) with no can at your side
Then your flip will be gone with the wind (Ooh-ooh-ooh)
But if you spray it and lock it, you can take off in a rocket
And in outer space each hair will be in place

[CORNY COLLINS, GIRLS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) Why take a chance when you get up and dance?
If you twist, I insist you use hairspray
And tell your mother (Ooh-ooh-ooh) her head she should smother
With Ultra Clutch faithfully

[CORNY COLLINS, GIRLS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
So if you're a redhead, a blond or brunette
Just take my advice and you might just get (You might just, ooh)
The only thing better than hairspray, that's me!
(Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, doo-dle-e-ya, do-wah)
Forget the milkman, the only thing better than hairspray
(Hairspray, wow!) That's me!

[Interlude: Girls & Corny Collins with girls]
Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
What makes a man reach out and touch?
Ultra Clutch!

[CORNY COLLINS, GIRLS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
So if you're a redhead, a blond or brunette, ooh
Just take my advice and you might just get (You might just, ooh-ooh)
The only thing better than hairspray, that's me!
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, doo-dle-e-ya, do-wah
He's Corny Collins!
The only thing better than hairspray
(Hairspray, wow!) That's me!

[GIRLS, CORNY COLLINS & GIRLS]
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, do-wah
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, do-wah, do-wah

[CORNY COLLINS, spoken]
Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!

[GIRLS]
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do