[Verse 1]
I don't care who you are
Or what you think
The truth can be bizarre
And it can stink
The more you know, the less you'll want to know
Whoa-oh-oh

[Refrain 1]
I cannot deny
My circumstance
I cannot justify
This to my pants
But it is getting crucial over here

[Chorus 1]
I've gotta find a toilet in a hurry
Shouldn't have had that chicken curry
I am going to shit my pants
I cannot hold it in much longer
I wish my sphincter was stronger
I am going to shit my pants

[Post-Chorus]
Oh-no
Oh-no
Oh-no
Oh-no-oh

[Kazoo Solo]

[Verse 2]
I'm sorry if you're offended
By my emergency
It's not what I intended
This kind of urgency
It only happens to the best of us
(Just keep on telling yourself that)

[Refrain 2]
Everybody knows how it feels (Everybody knows how it feels)
Don't pretend you don't know
When shit's about to get real
I've really, really, really gotta go (Really, really, really gotta go)
Would you please excuse me?
I'm 'bout to blow
Shit

[Chorus 2]
I've gotta find a toilet in a hurry
Shouldn't have had that chicken curry
I am going to shit my pants
I cannot hold it in much longer
I wish my sphincter was stronger
I am going to shit my pants
Since I took that laxative...
I'm pouring gravy through a sieve
I am going to shit my pants

[Bridge]
This is really not my day
You'd better get outta my way
I am going to shit my pants

[Outro]
Oh-no
Oh-no
Oh-ooh-ooh
Oh-no
Oh-no-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-ooh