[Intro: samples & MF DOOM]
"I'll show the world and, more particularly, those dim-witted, no-talent studio execs, that I...I'll prove that I'm the greatest soundman of all time!"
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... don't worry
"He was a recording genius who invented this gizmo that turns bells into bombs, or something?"
"Wow. Gotta get outta the way of the sound waves of those bells!"

[Verse: MF DOOM]
Who got the most whips, gats, and cash?
If you ask the Villain, he say, "Who gives a rat's ass?
Can't take it wit' you when you breathe your last
In the meaning, in between – pass that grass"
Give thanks, his rank is that of big stank dank
He often time drank by the river bank
And kept a silver shank for a calm cat
Always stay strapped for hand-to-arm combat
For DOOM, the bell tolls
Let them fools know ain't no more room in these hell holes
It's filled up to the brim with sold souls
Crackheads, dope fiends, and 40's of Old Gold
Hold up – the boldest who ever sold it
Whoever dare roll up, prepare to get folded
Like Holly Hobbie, "gosh, golly, gee"
The back of Hector Hoskovitz's trolly read "Wash me" ("Ha, ha, ha, ha...")
Dagnabbit, the mask is like a chick magnet
Some'll let you stab it for a knick of the babbit
They say he talk slick like Dick Cavett
A fiend for the mic and can't kick it like a sick habit ("The bells...!")
Give him a hero's holla
Along wit' more free dough than Creflo Dollar
Holy Toledo, how he made base on The Today Show?
They say he wear a mask in case his face show
It's better than a stocking, birdbrain
Find him on the corner, rockin' "Mockin' Bird Lane"
He's a odd man, Grandma
And she's a bad mamma-jamma
Either squeeze the damn hammer – or stop complaining
On the top, he's remaining
A lot of Pop sensations need more proper home training
The people say he's the nicest
He only wants to be left alone to his own devices
If the price is right, he might sing a new smash
Then laugh and twist his Rollie Fingers moustache
Tear ya crew a new–gash
And prepare a new batch of his own Special Herb goulash
Villain – the dork who talk funny
And he'll put one in ya, so watch where you walk, money
Like Semmi say – do more boomers, they cure tumors
And beware the DOOM-ster!

[Outro]
"The bells toll for you! Ha, ha, ha, ha..."