I have this paralyzing fear that I'll maybe go nowhere
But God forbid me ever admitting I could be scared
And I can't stand my friends right now, we got nothing in common
But being lonely's worse than just having friends that don't care
[Pre-Chorus]
You said it looks like I've been going through hell
How did you know? How could you tell?
Ask me to explain myself, well
[Chorus]
I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest
Nobody said changing would be this exhausting
A foot on the brake 'cause it's been making me carsick
How could you blame me? Growing up is chaotic
[Verse 2]
Don't wanna say it but I really think that I miss him
It might seem stupid but I still look through all of our texts
Who knew that wanting someonе could ever make mе this desperate
Don't think I'll do that again, no
[Pre-Chorus]
You said it looks like I've been going through hell
How did you know? How could you tell?
You ask me to explain myself, well
I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest
Nobody said changing would be this exhausting
A foot on the brake 'cause it's been making me carsick
How could you blame me? Growing up is chaotic
[Bridge]
And maybe I'm just blowing all this shit up in my head
But I can't help it, no, I can't help it
Fooling myself thinking that I'll never love again
Goddamn, I felt it, I really felt it
Maybe I'm just blowing all this shit up in my head
But I can't help it, no, I can't help it
Spending too much time on things I know that I'll forget
But damn, I felt it
[Outro]
I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest
Nobody said changing could be this exhausting
A foot on the brake 'cause it's making me carsick
How could you blame me?
About
“chaotic” is the third single off of Tate’s debut album, i used to think i could fly. After numerous snippets on TikTok, the track was released on March 25, 2022 along with a visualizer.
Described as “the saddest song on the album,” “chaotic” is a soft piano ballad that builds slowly throughout the song. Tate finds herself navigating growing up and adult life—money, relationships, career, and everything in between.
Q&A
Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning
I was at Greg Kurstin’s studio. I had been writing with a lot of people and I wasn’t getting songs that I really connected with. And I think it was because there was a lot changing in my life—I had graduated high school and turned 18 and moved to LA and I was kind of settling into my own skin for the first time. I had no idea who I was. And I feel like this was one of the first times that I sat down in a session and I was like, ‘Okay, I need to really talk about where my mental state is at right now, because I don’t know if it’s looking too good.’ I didn’t even think I would end up releasing this song, because it was so personal to me. I was really nervous to put it out. I wrote it really quietly on my computer, and then an hour later, I walked across the studio and gave Greg a high five and left.
—via Apple Music
- 1.?
- 3.i’m so gone
- 5.chaotic
- 9.boy x
- 10.you’re so cool
- 11.feel like shit
- 12.go away
