I’m my tetraplegic boyfriend’s full-time caretaker — and we have a great sex life
Love knows no handicap.
A young British couple is getting attention on social media for sharing intimate details of their relationship in hope of dispelling rumors around disability and sex.
George Dowell, who is tetraplegic, and his girlfriend, Jessikah Lopez, met after he appeared on the British dating show “Undateables” in 2018. Now they’re fighting the stigma against people who live with a disability.
The couple has since revealed how they’ve developed healthy communication skills to meet their wants and needs — and that they lead a “normal and healthy life.”
Dowell, who was left with a spinal injury when he flipped his car in 2010, has “limited hand and arm function.”
“I was the front seat passenger, was wearing my seatbelt, etc., there were others sat in the back of the car too,” Dowell told Jam Press. “The car flipped and landed in the field opposite the road. I was the only one with severe injuries.”
The 30-year-old said that after the accident, he gave up on dating because he was worried about how people would react to him, as well as the rejection from other women.
“Dating isn’t as easy when you’re in a wheelchair, because people automatically have assumptions about you or can’t see themselves with someone with a disability,” Dowell explained. “So I often worried about being rejected straightaway.”
Enter Jessikah Lopez.
According to Lopez, 29, she had seen Dowell on the popular British dating show and was instantly smitten.
“I thought George was really cute and sweet, so I followed him on social media but never spoke to him,” Lopez recalled.
It took two years for either of them to work up the nerve to talk to each other. “George messaged me on Facebook in relation to a story I posted,” said Lopez. “We got chatting and the rest is history.”
Their connection was instantaneous — as evidenced by their nine-hour-long first date.
“Our first date, I went over to his house, brought lots of snacks and we watched movies,” recalled Lopez. “I got there at 12 p.m. and didn’t leave until 9 p.m., we had so much to talk about and got on really well.”
Lopez admitted that she had no idea what a relationship with Dowell would look like.
“Before I met George, I have always had an able-bodied boyfriend and had long-term relationships,” she explained.
“I never imagined I’d be with someone who had a disability but not because I wasn’t interested — I had just never come across any disabled singletons.”
In spite of the unknown, their romance has blossomed like any other.
“Dating [George] felt the same as normal, the butterflies in your stomach, the awkward conversations that everyone has,” gushed Lopez. “I obviously had different questions to ask but never felt nervous, he was always so open and honest that I knew I could ask anything I needed to, which made me feel so at ease with him really quickly.”
The couple has said that they have faced some challenges along the road, especially since Lopez is also Dowell’s primary caregiver.
“We were thrown into each others’ lives quickly due to COVID and decided to bubble up together,” said Dowell.
“We were able to tell early on that we could live together very easily, only adjustment I had to make was adjust my care plan so Jessikah was my primary carer because I wanted to have more independent and alone time with her as our relationship progressed,” he continued.
The couple has since set up a joint Instagram account with more than 7,000 followers to share their dating experience, as well as answer any questions including those about their sex life.
“We have a normal and healthy sex life,” said Lopez. “It’s different of course but nothing that can’t be overcome with good communication and working with each other to find out what works best, pretty much the same as any new partner.”
Sex is the least of their problems, said the couple, who live in a society that was not built for disabled people.
“Most challenges in our relationship come from the outside world as it’s not built for people with disabilities and therefore can make things difficult for us at times,” added Lopez.
“We luckily have not had any negativity towards our relationship, but we would certainly defend it if we did.”
The Post has reached out to the couple for further comment.
