I love my ex-husband’s new wife — people mistake us for ‘sister-wives’
It takes a village.
A mother claims that she and her husband are best friends with her ex-husband and his new partner — likening themselves to Bruce Willis and his ex Demi Moore.
Ana Oosterhouse, 35, and her ex-husband’s new wife, Anne Salazar, also 35, have developed such a loving friendship that the women now co-host a podcast together, called “Two4Seven.”
“At first we [she and Anne] actually didn’t like each other at all,” said Ana, who was ordered to share custody of her kids with Anne. “I felt threatened.”
“It wasn’t necessarily the fact that she was stepping in as his new wife, it was more someone stepping in as a mom and a motherly figure for my girls,” continued Ana. “I didn’t want my girls to bond with any other woman but me as their mother, so I felt threatened and just bitter.”
Ana met her first husband, Luciano, in July 2001 when the pair was 14 and 16-year-old respectively.
The couple dated for four years before tying the knot in 2005 and having 4 daughters.
In March 2011, Ana and Luciano split, but it wasn’t long before both found happiness with other people: her new husband, Dylan Oosterhouse, and Salazar, who became pregnant with Luciano’s child in September of 2011, and wed two years later.
Ana and Dylan soon after welcomed two children, bringing the count up to 7 kids between the two couples.
Ana realized that no matter what happened with her ex and Anne, she had to do the right thing for her daughters.
“[Anne] fell pregnant in September 2011 and that’s when I realized that she wasn’t going anywhere,” said Ana. “Whether [or not] she and Luciano stayed together, my daughter’s now had a half-sister, and I was going to have to be cordial with and learn to deal with her for the rest of my life.”
That’s when she decided to put her grudge on ice — Disney on Ice, that is. It was during this excursion that Ana realized the two women actually had a lot in common.
“I called Anne and invited her to Disney on Ice. I realized how important it was for all of us to just have a relationship because we were going to be raising these four little girls together,” continued Ana. “At that moment I felt I didn’t necessarily need to be her friend but I wanted to know who was in my daughters’ lives and if they were safe with her.”
Since then, the two families from Ogden, Utah do 90% of activities together. Once the blending began, sharing custody became way less stressful.
“Christmases were the hardest because Christmas morning was spent with one parent and then at 1 p.m. they’d have a switch,” Ana explained. That was hard because they never really got to enjoy Christmas morning with whoever they were with.”
The move to combine Christmases also eased their financial burden. “We split the cost of everything,” she claimed
The fathers have bonded, too — getting together weekly for bowling or fishing trips.
Ana said that one of the benefits of the blended household is that she doesn’t miss out on anything.
“It’s really heart-breaking because in the beginning … it felt like I was missing something, and now I don’t feel that way because we do everything together,” she explained.
“I know what their struggles are at their dad’s house, and at my house, and we communicate and set rules together that we can all agree on so that the kids have stability at both houses with the same rules, expectations, which just creates consistency all around.”
They unit has gotten so close that Anna and Ana have previously been mistaken for “sister-wives.”
“We’ve been asked if we’re polygamous because there’s been times where it’s just my husband, Anne and I that show up,” Ana recalled, unoffended.
Ana and Anne hope to use their podcast to help normalize their parenting story.
“We became more than co-parents and wanted to bring awareness to why not embrace people that want to be there for your children, do things for them and love them, just as much as you do,” said Ana.
“It’s ok to let other women come in as a motherly figure because no matter what, that person’s not going to take your mom role — no one can break the love and bond that you have with your child.”
Anne also weighed in on their parenting strategy.
“Don’t give up, try not to take things to be offensive too much; let things go, forgive people — it really is easy as long as you both put in the work,” said Anne.
However, parents and step-parents can only hope they’ll gain a friendship out of the experience, as close as Ana and Anne’s.
“Ana and I just love having a good time and are down for going shopping, concerts, spending time with the kids, we do paint nights,” said Anne. “Just making sure that we’re having fun in life has been my favorite part of becoming her best friend for sure.”
Gushed Ana, “I know that if I ever need anything from Anne or Luciano, I can call them and ask. The four of us are best friends.”
