My husband talked me into having kids — now I miss my old life
A candid confession in an online parenting forum has sparked a conversation about the societal pressure to have kids and the realities of motherhood.
A new mom, using the name @BendyGirl85, opened up about feeling a deep sense of regret after having a child despite loving her daughter dearly.
She admitted that she had never planned to have kids, but after meeting her husband, his desire for children and societal expectations “talked her into it.”
“It’s not the same experience”
Taking to the online community What to Expect, she sought advice and support from fellow parents, saying she couldn’t open up to her closest loved ones about this.
She added that she doesn’t have postpartum depression and just misses her “old life”, filled with activities and experiences.
The activities she cherished before motherhood – reading, gardening, exploring the outdoors – all seem out of reach now.
“People say, ‘Just do what you used to do before you had kids, but do it with them,’ but I can’t,” she said. “It’s much more difficult and not the same experience.”
She further confessed there were other things bothering her.
“I get so bored at home looking after a baby all day,” she revealed. “I miss being able to sleep when I want to, and weekend sleep-ins. I’ve also never been one to play with kids.”
Plus, being a mom has taken a toll on her physically.
“I am trying to lose weight, but I can barely fit in a 20-minute workout each day,” she said before asking the group for advice.
“Nothing is ever the same”
The anonymous mom’s honesty resonated with other parents, with many sharing their own experiences.
“Is returning to work an option? I love my baby boy, but love him even more when I can have some time away and use my brain at work,” suggested one mom.
“We have so much fun before and after work and on my days off. I feel we get more quality time and I’m more present.”
Another offered these words of support: “I’d like to say that your feelings are valid. I’m sorry that this is how you’re feeling and also glad that you’re being honest with yourself.”
“Being a parent is just a new stage in life, and you’re right, nothing is ever the same,” someone else concluded.
