The tenth season of “American Idol” officially started last night according to judge Jennifer Lopez, which is news to the 26 million of us who have been watching for two months, but at the same time I understand exactly what she’s saying since the time for self-doubt is over.
Sadly this was also news to much of the Top 13 since nerves ran rampant, leading to a very sleepy vibe permeating many of the performances. It is a fine line between understated and unconscious, Thia! There is also a fine line between reworking and overworking — something the newly installed music producers need to learn about immediately because many of their tune tweaks came across as “look what I can do!”
Which isn’t to say that last night’s show was all bad — far from it in fact, as a handful of the front-runners continued to assert their dominance with the night’s very broad theme of Songs By Your Personal Musical Idol.
Personal Idol: Joe Cocker
When you talk about exciting performers, it doesn’t get much better this season than the soulful Casey Abrams. His utterly unhinged but always in control renditions consistently dust off classic tunes and give the iTunes generation a reason to learn about the greats. Bonus points for saying, “I’m gonna get high” about a dozen times on the family friendly show [watch]
Personal Idol: Celine Dion
Whenever the French-Canadians name is dropped in a singing competition, a little part of you recoils in anticipatory terror — but the beautiful belter proved herself a worthy heir to Celine’s chest-thumping throne with this soaring reworking. Pia narrowly missed out on the top spot because this was a woefully repetitive rendition. I mean, we were hearing that chorus for almost a full minute. [watch].
Personal Idol: Paul McCartney
I’m either coming around on this kid or his previous high pitched shrieks damaged my eardrums so greatly they can no longer recognize if he’s missing the notes. I’m inclined to think it’s the former because I also loved everything that came out of his lower register as well [watch].
Personal Idol: Garth Brooks
Much like Simon Cowell, country is a genre that pretty much misses the mark with me 100 percent of the time, but there is something so smooth about Scotty’s performances, he makes me understand why it’s one of America’s most popular musical styles [watch].
Personal Idol: LeAnn Rimes
I will come right out and admit it, I drank the Haley Kool-Aid back in Hollywood, so there is nothing baby Scarlett Johansson does that I won’t lap up with a spoon — including calling the homewrecking hussie her personal Idol [watch].
Personal Idol: Michael Jackson
The only thing I love more than saying Thia Megia’s name is hearing her gorgeous voice soar from the rafters, but she’s gonna have to pump up the energy next week if she wants to stay on in this competition because she’s not delivering “run to the phone” performances [watch].
Personal Idol: Stevie Wonder
I didn’t think Stefano deserved a spot in the Top 13, so it is very possible that this personal bias is affecting my judgement, but his Stevie Wonder dance remix felt like something you’d see opening a bad cabaret show [watch].
Personal Idol: Shania Twain
The bubbly blonde’s voice was on point throughout the performance but Lauren seemed to be going through the motions as she wandered from one side of the stage to the other without a trace of the energetic youngin we fell in love with over the last umpteen weeks [watch].
Personal Idol: Selena
This was the absolute perfect song for Karen to sing, but her pitch was off the whole way through. Thankfully Jennifer Lopez gave her a boost during the judging by deducing that her earpiece was off, preventing her from properly hearing the music. Still, it’s no excuse — rip that shizz out and belt the way we know you can Karen! [watch]
Personal Idol: Ryan Adams
I’m totally down with Paul’s unique flair, but he’s gotta wait a few weeks before he turns it up to 11 with the crazy dancing that prevented him from actually singing the last half of the song properly [watch].
Personal Idol: R. Kelly
First of all, I’m hoping that Jacob was just fronting about the controversial singer being his personal Idol simply so he could perform this song because … seriously? R. Kelly? Where you been for the last 7 years kid? Maybe a quick Google search before you go attaching yourself to the king of underage water sports. Just sayin’. Sadly I also hated this shrill, off-key performance. Plus, you gotta earn a choir folks — you can just parade them out during week one [watch].
Personal Idol: Rihanna
It’s moments like this one that make me wish Simon Cowell was still on “American Idol” because all I could do following her reggae infused, body spasm-filled performance was think, “what would Simon say?!?” [watch]
Personal Idol: Diana Ross
America didn’t want Ashthon in the finals and she didn’t give the voting public any reason to doubt their decision with this poorly paced and performed ballad [watch]
Who do you think is going home?
Photo: Fox