A father-of-two with incurable pancreatic cancer, who has been given months to live, aims to make “magical memories” with his family ahead of his “last Christmas ”. Lee Rawlinson, 51, who lives in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, with his wife Faye, 48, a speech and language therapist, and children Darcey, 10, and Marley, seven, was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer on Halloween, after experiencing a dull pain in his lower abdomen.
On the day of the “brutal” diagnosis on October 31, Lee, a medical sales representative, said doctors told him the cancer was inoperable, as it had spread to his liver, and he had “months to live”. Lee still went trick-or-treating that night, and sat down with his children the following day to tell them the news. Marley later asked: “Is Daddy going to go into the clouds?”
Although Lee said their “worlds have been blown apart”, he is now focusing on making memories with his family, including surprising his children with a trip to Lapland, and wants to raise awareness of this “horrible disease” to help ensure it does not “destroy another young family’s life”. Lee told PA Real Life: “This will be my last Christmas. I’m facing the jaws of death. I’m sailing towards it and I can’t do anything about it, yet I just have to face it.
“I don’t fear death, I fear leaving my children and Faye behind – not being able to be there when they’re in trouble, not being able to make it better when tears flow, watching Marley developing his football, watching Darcey developing her theatrical talents, not being able to be there for Faye.
“Survival for pancreatic cancer has barely improved since the 1970s and it’s got to change. I want to get people to sit up and listen and think, what can we do for this not to destroy another young family’s life?”
According to the charity Pancreatic Cancer UK, it is the deadliest common cancer and, currently, more than half of people die within three months of diagnosis. Common symptoms include abdominal and back pain, unexplained weight loss and indigestion, loss of appetite, changes to bowel habits, and jaundice – yet the charity said 80% of people with pancreatic cancer are not being diagnosed until after the disease has spread.
Lee said he started experiencing a “dull ache” in his lower abdomen in January, but initially dismissed it as a symptom of stress. After visiting his GP, he said he was referred to a gastroenterologist but there was a 21-week wait. His blood and urine tests came back clear, and no further action was taken until the pain became unbearable in September.
“I was taking painkillers every day, and co-codamol, and it wasn’t touching the sides,” Lee said. “If you can imagine a scaffolding pole and someone slowly pushing it through you, right through to your back, it was like that.”
One week later, Lee said, he was bending over in severe pain at his son’s football training, so he went to his A&E department at Southend University Hospital and four days later, had a CT scan. He was then invited back to hospital on October 31, where he received the news that he had incurable pancreatic cancer. He said he felt “robbed” and “violated”.
“I said, ‘Have I done anything wrong to get this?’ And the consultant said, ‘It was your destiny’,” Lee explained. “It sounded brutal, but looking back on it, what he meant was, there was nothing you could do. This was always going to happen.”
Lee, who was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, a condition which causes the level of glucose in the blood to become too high, about a decade ago, learned that his grandfather had pancreatic cancer and he therefore has a “dodgy gene”. He said: “If there are people who have got relatives with pancreatic cancer, then they are at high risk.”
Since Lee was told the cancer could not be treated with surgery, the only current treatment that can potentially cure the disease, as it had spread to his liver, he decided from that moment that he wanted to enjoy every second with his family and make “magical memories” during the time he has left.
He went trick-or-treating on the night he was diagnosed because he knew it would be “(his) last”, and he sat down and told his children the following day: “Daddy’s very poorly and I’ve got something called cancer.” As the days passed and his children noticed other parents going up to Lee, crying and cuddling him, he and Faye decided to have another conversation with Darcey and Marley.
Lee said: “Marley had already asked, ‘Is Daddy going to go into the clouds?’ And I said, ‘Yes, I am, so we’re going to make some magical memories and we’re going to go do things that ordinarily we would never do’.” Lee and his family have since been invited to Wembley as VIPs, they were asked to be the mascots for Southend United during their match against Forest Green Rovers, and they will be heading to the Emirates Stadium on December 18 for Arsenal’s game against Crystal Palace.
Lee said the “community has come together” and been incredibly generous, hosting quizzes and other events in his honour, and the family’s next adventure will be a trip to Lapland in Finland. “The kids have never been on a plane before, so they’re going to fly for the first time and look out the window and see snow, and I’m going to see their reaction,” Lee said.
“It’s going to be amazing.”
He added: “We are living the magic dream. Through such sad circumstances, we are living our best life.”
Other than spending time with his family, Lee’s focus is raising more awareness of pancreatic cancer and the need to fund research into early detection and improved treatments. He is urging people with any unusual symptoms or pains to “get checked out” and wants to encourage others to “be kind because you don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives”.
“I was told I’ve got just months to live and, ever since that day, I’ve just wanted to raise awareness for this horrible disease and for Pancreatic Cancer UK,” Lee said. “There’s not enough known about it. I want to be like Bowelbabe, Deborah James, I want to be the face of a campaign.
“Our friends have set up a JustGiving page for us and I want to see if I can leave a legacy to my family and leave a legacy to others that they get checked out.”
To find out more about the JustGiving page for Lee and his family, visit: justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rawlinsons.
For more information and support, call Pancreatic Cancer UK’s support line, which is staffed by specialist nurses, on 0808 801 0707 or visit its website here: pancreaticcancer.org.uk.
