A woman has opened up about her fears around finding love as she identifies as asexual - and has a 'biological aversion' to sex.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation where people have little to no sexual attraction to others and a low desire for sexual activity, and for Allie Daisy King, who worries about never being in love - this is a reality many people may face.
Even though Allie shared that the thought of people finding her attractive makes her "want to vomit", the writer can't help but wonder what it's like to be in love. The curiosity for Allie makes her want to experience it, but is unsure if it will ever happen.
Those who identify as asexual - also coined as being 'ace' - may never have a relationship, and it's something Allie admitted is a worry, as she fears she may never be "fulfilled" in life. Despite these concerns, she says she loves being asexual, and it's one of the things she likes about herself the most.
"I have such a wonderful life filled with joy, wonder and (platonic) love. But with that being said, sometimes I worry that if I never fall in love, I will never fully experience life. I have been a lover of love since day dot," she told Refinery29. "For some important background about my ace identity. I consider myself to be on the asexual spectrum. I do not know exactly where I land and I feel like choosing an exact term is limiting, as life is long and identity is ever-changing."
Due to her love of love, it never crossed her mind growing up that she could be asexual. The writer said she never understood how romantic and sexual attraction are "two separate entities" and admitted despite having a romantic attraction to her partner, there was just no physical attraction.
So when she came to the realisation she was asexual, Allie now worries that she will never fall in love and described herself as an asexual alloromantic who "yearns" for a love story all while having a "biological aversion" to sex - and admits she feels like a "wild oxymoron".
Wondering if her burning desire for love is real, or just "social conditioning", Allie recalls times when she would be "bombarded" with questions about dating and said the theoretical love life "took over". She explained: "At the end of the day, I think I want to experience love (despite the fact that people being physically attracted to me makes me want to vomit). I don't have much of a model for what a relationship without sex being a large focus looks like."
In the future, Allie hopes to learn more about the intersection of love and attraction and hopes there will be more of a media representation that reflects this sexual preference. She concluded by saying that if she falls in love, it will be wonderful, but if not she will be content and love won't be the "focus" of her life - despite wondering what it could be like.
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