Chris Kamara reveals he contemplated suicide as he struggled to deal with disability

Chris Kamara has revealed he had suicidal thoughts while battling to overcome his speech apraxia diagnosis that forced him to step down from his TV role at Sky Sports.

Kamara, who is one of football's most recognisable broadcasters, announced in 2021 that he had been suffering with the neurological disorder that made it difficult for him to speak. Fans had grown concerned after noticing he was slurring his words on Sky's popular football show Soccer Saturday.

The 66-year-old, who has also worked as presenter on ITV show Ninja Warrior, has been receiving speech therapy and is on the road to recovery, but has spoken out about his dark days after first being diagnosed when his career in broadcasting looked uncertain.

Speaking to Brentford, the club he played 190 games for in the 1980s, he admitted he had contemplated suicide because he didn't want to be a "burden" to his family.

"I felt sorry for myself when the condition came along and I didn’t know what to do or how to cope with it," he said. "You have stupid thoughts. You think you’ve got Alzheimer’s or dementia. I didn’t want to be a burden to my family, so you think about taking yourself out of the game.

"Thankfully, all of those stupid thoughts have gone now and I’m working through it, on the mend. How could I ever have thought of not being in this world with my grandkids? I love them and I appreciate life.

"I didn’t understand mental health, I’ll be honest with you. If someone said there were a few problems at home or in their personal life which they’re down about, I would tell them wholeheartedly to get up, get on with it and just do it.

“Now, I realise that I was totally wrong. The majority of people who are genuinely honest and have depression, anxiety and have mental health problems need help as best as they possibly can. The start is talking to someone about it. I did that and it’s helped me immensely."

This is not the first time Kamara has discussed suicidal thoughts. In his book 'Kammy: My Unbelievable Life', serialised by the Mirror, he spoke about how he would tell his darkest thoughts to animals he and wife Anne kept on their land at their home in Wakefield.

"I would talk to them as I stood there. I'd let all my innermost feelings tumble out. I didn't need to worry about them noticing my slowed speech or my compromised stability.

"Going down there allowed me to unravel my thoughts. And I'll be honest, some of those thoughts could be dark. I worried about where I was going to end up. Would my physical and neurological deterioration just keep going and going? And I worried more about the effect it would have on those around me."

Kamara started as a footballer playing for clubs such as Portsmouth, Swindon, Brentford and Leeds United before a brief stint as a manager - but shot to fame after becoming a pitchside reporter for Sky Sports in 1999.

He left fans in stitches with his hilarious reports and gaffes and popularised the phrase "unbelievable Jeff!" while reporting to host Jeff Stelling.

This summer Kamara revealed he was making huge improvements in his speech and had everything but speed back when he talked during an interview with This Morning.

"I've got the fluency, the brain when you want to talk, it's not interrupted anymore, it's fluent," he said. "If you met me before you would think I always talk like this. I would speak at 300 miles an hour and not stop to think what I'd said but now I get more time!"

Kammy had initially feared his disorder might have been dementia and worried he might not recognise his own family if it progressed. He told the Daily Mail: "I wasn’t sure if my problem was dementia and I just kept thinking in six months I won’t know my own children. I won’t know my wife. They’d have to see me in a home."

If you or anyone you know has been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this article, you can call Samaritans for free at any time on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org.

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