We're just about halfway through the Premier League season, so for my last column of 2024 I have summoned each manager to Headmaster Sav’s study to collect their half-term reports.
There have been some exceptional pupils who have surpassed expectations, but others - notably in Manchester - have fallen short of the required standards.
Happy New Year to you, whoever you support, and wishing you all the best for 2025.
Liverpool - A+
Arne Slot - an apology. In one of the worst pre-season predictions of all time, I thought Liverpool might finish outside the top four because of the post-Klopp effect, in the same way that Arsenal struggled after Wenger and Man United struggled after Fergie. But they have been superb - and now I believe they will win the title.
Chelsea - A
They are exceeding expectations and, whatever manager Enzo Maresca says in public, they ARE in the title race. He has handled a young, dynamic squad well, he’s got Cole Palmer playing out of his skin - the best player in the Premier League - and they should win the Europa Conference League.
Nottingham Forest - A+
Nuno Espirito Santo may not have been the sexiest choice when Forest picked him as Steve Cooper’s successor, but what an incredible job he’s doing. To be third in the table on Boxing Day is no fluke, and the City Ground is absolutely rocking. Tottenham fans must be wondering why they got rid of him.
Arsenal - A-
Don’t fall for the sneers about their high percentage of goals from set pieces - it’s an important part of football and it’s another string to their bow. The Gunners stumbled when skipper Martin Odegaard was injured and although Gabriel Jesus is back among the goals, they should go for a top-class No.9 in January.
Newcastle - A-
Three wins in a row has restored the spring in their step. Alexander Isak has hit his stride and looks one of the best strikers in Europe, and they are in the League Cup semi-finals with a chance to land the club’s first major trophy in 56 years.
Bournemouth - A+
Let’s be honest: How many of you had heard of Andoni Iraola when he was appointed by the Cherries? But I’ll tell you what - his team plays exciting football, they are turning over the big boys like Arsenal, City and United in recent weeks, and they are doing unbelievably well.
Manchester City - D
Hand on heart, I never thought I would see the day when a Pep Guardiola side won only once in 13 games and his team grew old virtually overnight. Right now, they are in danger of missing out on Champions League football next season by finishing outside the top four - and they might not even make the knockout stage in the New Year.
Fulham - A
A breath of fresh air. Marco Silva’s side don’t get enough credit for playing with verve, creativity, flair and tempo. Harry Wilson has become the supersub of Craven Cottage and they are taking points off the big guns. That win at Chelsea on Boxing Day was no fluke - they are really good.
Aston Villa - B
Magnificent in the Champions League, blowing a bit hot and cold in the Premier League. Unai Emery has done a fine job, and that 1-0 win against Bayern Munich in October will live long in the memory, but do they have enough squad depth? Ollie Watkins and Jhon Duran need more competition up front.
Brighton - B-
It’s hard to judge the Seagulls because we’re measuring them against the feats of previous years. They have some unbelievably talented players, especially in forward positions, and Fabian Hurzeler has made a good first of being the youngest Premier League manager, but I suspect he wants more.
Tottenham - D
For entertainment value, Spurs get an A+ because when Ange Postecoglou’s side are on the box, they are a must-watch. Only Liverpool have scored more, but they have lost nine out of 18 in the league and the balance between flair and winning is not right. Above all, they need to win a first trophy in 17 years.
Brentford - C+
The Bees’ overall grade is dragged down slightly by their poor away record, but they have a sound model for staying up every year, giving the big six a rough ride at the G-Tech and they have coped so well after selling Ivan Toney in the summer.
West Ham - C
After spending big in the summer, I thought they would do better and challenge for a return to Europe. Every time new manager Julen Lopetegui appears to be on the ropes, he pulls a big result out of the hat, but I expect more of the Hammers in second half of the campaign.
Manchester United - E
Let’s cut to the chase: It’s been a shambles. They backed Erik ten Hag with a new contract after winning the FA Cup then sacked him, they have never been lower in the Premier League at Christmas than the current 14th, and new coach Ruben Amorim’s system doesn’t suit the players. It’s going to take a long time to turn the ship around.
Everton - B
Sean Dyche doesn’t get enough recognition for the job he’s done in stormy waters. Not many teams will take a point off Arsenal, Chelsea and Man City in consecutive games. I still think they will stay up comfortably and move to the new stadium at Bramley Moore Dock under new ownership with stronger foundations.
Crystal Palace - C-
Losing their best player, Michael Olise, to Bayern Munich last summer didn’t help, but there’s still some quality in the Palace squad and I thought they would be higher up the table. They should be OK with England stars Eberechi Eze and Marc Guehi on tap and Adam Wharton to come back from injury.
Wolves C-
After shipping 40 goals in 16 games, all of a sudden two clean sheets come along and the outlook is brighter at Molineux. Somehow new boss Vitor Pereira has installed cohesion and purpose in just a week since Gary O’Neil was dismissed, but it’s vital that Wolves keep Matheus Cunha in the January window.
Leicester - D
I have to admit I fear for my old club. Right now they are staring down the barrel and I think they are going down. Ruud van Nistelrooy has a massive task on his hands and that 0-3 home defeat against Wolves before Christmas was an ominous sign of the struggle ahead.
Ipswich - D
Nobody gave them much chance of staying up, so their lowly grade is only recognition of what it said on the tin before a ball was kicked. It will be a real feather in head coach Kieran McKenna’s cap if the Tractor Boys avoid relegation, and I wouldn’t write them off yet, but they need to start winning at home.
Southampton - E
Much as I admired Russell Martin, up to a point, for sticking to his principles, it was the road to nowhere. Do you want to adjust your game plan and fight to stay up, or just get beat every week playing pretty football? New boss Ivan Juric has got his work cut out. Going down.
Join our new WhatsApp communityand receive your daily dose of Mirror Football content. We also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice.