This was a fun diversion! Somehow, only four episodes into the current season, I looked at the addition of a bunch of new people to our cast and thought, Oh, thank God! We needed a little shake-up! And we got it in the form of a bunch of firefighters with varying levels of charisma, all getting made up to look like pop stars. Fun!
For all the talk about strategy this season, the truth is that these non-elimination episodes are better when they stop trying to inflate the stakes artificially: It ends up feeling disingenuous and silly. The episode begins with a lot of chatter about alliances — Shannel says it’s getting “clique-y,” Vanjie gets vaguely annoyed, we move on. The next day, Gottmik accuses Angeria and Shannel of being in an alliance with Nina because they were shouting for Nina during her bad lip sync, but they say, “No, we’re not in an alliance,” and we move on. Both Nina and Gottmik get to choose a queen to give a badge to, and both of them end up choosing girls who haven’t gotten any badges yet (with Nina choosing Roxxxy and Mik choosing Vanjie), and both girls happily accept and move on. None of it really matters. Everybody continues to make straightforward choices, nobody is really hurt.
Part of the issue is that, as a huge strategy-show person, it’s become clear that these girls are not adept at playing the game, and Drag Race does not know how to tell a story about strategy. The most interesting technique brought up this far in the game is Roxxxy suggesting that the girls with the extra stars should just give them to each other. She’s right! If your goal is to make it to the top three and you’re already doing well, then you should do whatever you can to not level the playing field. At this point, the queens who have badges and are likely to win more badges (Angeria, Mik, and Nina) should all be working together to separate themselves from the pack of middle contenders (Plastique, Roxxxy, maybe Jorgeous). Instead, Mik and Nina play this week so poorly that, ultimately, Nina is now behind the girl she gave a badge to and Mik is tied with the one she did. If they had agreed to give them to each other, they’d both still be out front.
The thing is, the show doesn’t edit any of this as a tactical mistake by either Nina or Mik. It’s simply a choice they make, and the cards will fall as they may. Drag Race All Stars features a lot of queens talking vaguely about “strategy” and then very little actual strategy playing out.
So, when the men showed up, I was happy to see them. Instead of an episode focused primarily on the queens and all their maneuverings that end up mostly not being maneuverings, we could simply get a good old-fashioned makeover challenge. Well, not so old-fashioned. Interestingly, Drag Race dipped back into the well for this one, reviving a version of the makeover that we haven’t seen since All Stars season one, and which was really only the method then because they were all in teams. This time, the girls put themselves in makeshift teams and had to do a different kind of makeover: Turn a fireman into a member of your girl group.
I like this twist! It was likely done because telling the story of eight different firefighters getting into drag for the first time is simply too much to edit, and with nobody going home, it’s not like they could just wait until later. Still, it gives the firemen two people to bounce off of, and it slightly complicates the challenge for queens who have, largely, done this before.
The teams are:
Roxxxy and Vanjie: This was immediately the most promising group, given that Roxxxy has won the makeover once before and Vanjie did very well in her season’s. Ultimately, based on the results and the working sessions, it looks like Roxxxy mostly took over and Vanjie was the Greek chorus. Sure! Their fireman is the dad of a pansexual woman who has a trans-masc husband and wanted to this show for her, which is very sweet.
Plastique and Jorgeous: Jorgeous and Plastique team up, forming #TeamTwink, and they get lucky that the only gay fireman chooses them. They end up being a fun duo: Their youth makes it so they pull from different references than the other queens, and they have compatible drag styles. Seems to go off without a hitch. Interestingly, neither has technically done this challenge before (Plastique was Brooke Lynn’s makeover subject on season 11), but they both acclimate well.
Shannel and Angeria: This duo seemed like a recipe for success to me. They have compatible styles and a taste for perfection. Their guy seemed sweet and game, if also a bit “incredibly awkward.” His face, however, is great for drag.
Gottmik and Nina: I call this group “Team Gottmik Thought They Were Pairing Up for an Acting Challenge.” These two have extremely oppositional styles, which is not great. They’re also not among the first few in this group that I think of when I think “Girl Group.” But they do have a guy who is extremely excited to be there, which is the most important help. It doesn’t get brought up during the episode, but it was in the back of my mind constantly that, last time she was here, Nina did one of the worst makeovers of all time, bombed the lip sync to “No Scrubs,” and got sent home.
The getting-ready scenes were largely fun and adorable, and all the firefighters were positive and sweet, if a little overwhelmed. Nice! Honestly, not much else happens, so I’m just going to move right along to the runways/girl-group performances.
Roxxxy and Vanjie: What I liked: the costumes, which went together incredibly well in a very “Tina Knowles designing for Destiny’s Child” kind of way. Roxxxy ate with all that. Unfortunately, their job on the man’s face is, surprisingly, not very good, and he still moves with absolutely no fluidity. Maybe it’s unfair to criticize Roxxxy and Vanjie for his lack of ability to dance, but it sure seems like he was not fully comfortable onstage. For my money, that should disqualify them from winning.
Plastique and Jorgeous: I think these two did significantly better than anyone else on the playing field this week. Their outfits were clearly girl group, but strappy and streetwear-inspired in a way that felt like a modern girl group, which is to say K-pop inspired. I’ve long felt that K-pop drag has been underserved on this show, especially when it’s playing in clubs across the globe, and it was nice to see these girls take from somewhere other than Destiny’s Child or the Spice Girls, both of which get referenced with regularity on Drag Race. Plus, their guy’s face looks fantastic, and despite having a muscular guy showing midriff, which is historically a problem in makeovers, they do a great job with the proportions. He moves well, their choreography is strong. Honestly? This was a slam dunk. They get critiqued for not looking like a group, which I think is wrongheaded. The colors are from the same family, and the outfits all have a strappy, K-pop feel. My feeling is that the judges wanted something with a girl-group reference they understood, which is to say, an older one.
Shannel and Angeria: They do poorly. None of their outfits go together, and Angeria’s is actively ugly. Their guy is awkward. I’m not a monster, so I do love “hissin’ while I’m pissin’,” but otherwise, it’s a dud of a week for these two.
Gottmik and Nina: They are … okay. It’s perfectly reasonable to hear “girl group” and reach back to the ’60s. However, I do think a better way to combine Mik and Nina’s aesthetics would be to go a little less “paisley” and a little more “Ronettes.” Still, they do surprisingly well, and it’s no surprise that their fireman’s paint is one of the strongest, given that Mik is a literal makeup artist. He’s very charming in the dance. They were never going to win, but it’s a strong showing this week for a duo whose POVs are not a natural blend.
Ultimately, Roxxxy and Vanjie win, which I disagree with. I understand that the story line of both of them going from no stars to two stars in one episode is a strong one. Still, nobody has lost out on a star by being snipped yet (giving the ruby snippers little to no stakes), so I think giving it to Jorgeous and Plastique, with Jorgeous not receiving a star, would be just as valid. Either way, Roxxxy and Vanjie lip-sync to Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat.” I think Vanjie wins, but they make it a tie, and the two must collab on the snippers. Roxxxy gets her way and snips Angeria as revenge. Hopefully, this leads to actual drama.
And also on Untucked …
• Is there anything more boring than drag queens who don’t listen to country music talking about country music with their guest judges? It feels like this happens all the time now.
• I really loved “Hissin’ while I’m pissin’.”
• Gottmik’s reasoning for Angeria and Shannel being in an alliance being that they thought Nina did a good job in last week’s lip sync was sensational.
• Next week looks like there just might be actual drama!
