The restaurants in the greater Vanderpump Rules ecosystem run on two metrics: good food and tourist interest for the Bravopilled. Usually the latter greatly outweighs the former. But would Something About Her — the only restaurant without direct LVP involvement — break that mold?
The line outside Katie Maloney and Ariana Madix’s sandwich shop was already half a block deep when the rest of my party arrived: one Pump head (Lovett or Leave It writer Jocey Coffman) and one complete neophyte (Letterboxd West Coast editor Mia Vicino). I mean, zero contextual information for what was going on. When Jocey said, “Oh, wow, Katie is here,” Mia was like, “Who?” That’s how untainted her food opinions were going to be.
The line was only for those wishing to dine in; if you wanted a sammy to go, Katie’s mom Teri Maloney would usher you to the cashier with efficiency. By the time we reached the door, we could peruse the menu and listen to the rom-com-adjacent Spotify playlist. (A sample of tracks we heard: “Zou Bisou Bisou,” “I Love You Always Forever,” “There She Goes,” by the La’s, a.k.a. the song from the Gilmore Girls pilot and a few joints of The Parent Trap OST.) We got to the front pretty quickly, considering how little seating is available — RIP to the patio. Teri worried that the only table set up for more than a two-top would never leave. “They’ve finished their food and they’re just sitting,” she whispered accusingly. Then, somehow, Teri made a three-person table appear out of the ether, and we placed our orders. While we waited (again, not for very long — this is an efficient shop), Katie Maloney took pictures with anyone who asked, occasionally busing tables and checking in on us at least twice. She fell back into SURver mode so easily I couldn’t help but be impressed. Very, very profesh.
The crowd was all VPR stans. Well, except for Mia. I deduced this from two things: (1) Who else would wait on line for a sandwich in a neighborhood full of line-less restaurants? And (2) pretty much everyone who came inside got a photo with Katie. A birthday girl, maybe 11 years old, wore a plastic tiara as she waited in line to eat a $16 sando. One person brought their baby. Imagine your first restaurant experience being a VPR-adjacent quick-service spot. Wild. And a pair of women told Katie SAH was their first stop after getting into L.A. the night before. They sat next to us and cracked open some Loverboy Spritzes as they waited for food. I guess we know which side of Spritzgate the SAH girls are on.
On to the food. I got the Diane (olive-oil-dressed tuna salad on a baguette), Jocey got the Viola (turkey panini), and Mia got the Drew (goat cheese and prosciutto on a baguette). Jocey said she picked the Viola because “I was drawn to kind of a sloppy sandy, and this one has wetter ingredients.” Mia picked the Drew “because I love the film Music and Lyrics, starring Drew Barrymore.” Each sandwich came with a big spear of dill pickle, much appreciated.
We each tried bites of each other’s sandwiches, so here’s our collective ranking, worst to best. None were outright bad, for which I am deeply grateful given the sus food I’ve had at SUR before (filet mignon sliders that were somehow simultaneously burnt and ice cold). Each sandwich at Something About Her was, at the very least, competent and not exorbitantly priced. Well, not exorbitantly priced for West Hollywood, at least.
3. The Diane: I hope when Diane Keaton went to SAH, she liked her namesake sando better than I did. The lightness of the tuna in the Diane worked for me, but the bread did not. It was a little tough, and my poor jaw couldn’t make it work. I took half my sandwich home, and my husband had the same trouble working through the bread. In the end, we scooped the salad into a deli container and made garlic toast with the bread. The preserved lemon in the tuna salad was a nice touch.
2. The Viola: “It’s a totally decent panini. I had a good experience with the bread; I liked the press, I liked the crunch,” Jocey said. “Totally fine sandwich, but I would opt for something more experimental if you’re just going to get one sandwich.”
1. The Drew: We all rated Drew Barrymore’s sandwich at the top. It had the most complexity, with herbs and mango-jalapeño jam and all sorts of extras. “This one has an added bonus — pink-lady apples. So it’s fresh and brisk,” Mia said. “It’s a great summer sandwich.”
It’s incredible that Mia, the one with no skin in the sandwich game, was most satisfied with her meal. But does that mean Something About Her has what it takes to succeed beyond the Bravo Disneyland that Lisa Vanderpump has constructed at Santa Monica and Robertson? Maybe. There are so many sandwich restaurants in Los Angeles. The place is going through something of a carb renaissance, actually. Something About Her feels in line with most of these places. The food? Normal. The price? L.A. acceptable. The service? Insanely attentive. Against all odds, Something About Her is a Functional Restaurant, which is more than I can say for some other VPR-related establishments.
