5 lessons from the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray – Book Summary

You can improve your understanding of the members of the other human creature and your communication with them by going through the book “men are from Mars Women are from Venus”. It describes insights regarding how effective communication can be created between men and women in a relationship. These insights are especially relevant today in light of the fact that in some countries the divorce rates are really higher. I am going to explain four lessons to improve your relationship and help you to avoid divorces.

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Lesson-1: Mr. Fix it and the Home Improvement Committee

Most of the common complaint women have about men is that he doesn’t listen to her and completely ignores her when she speaks or he quickly accessed give a solution to make her better when she is troubling. He gets upset when she doesn’t appreciate the solutions given by him for her troubles. In this situation, she wants empathy but he thinks she wants a smart solution and some men are work hard to find the smart solution to impress her. Stop giving unwanted advice and listen to her because she only wants your empathy, not a solution.

On the other side, men complain the women are always trying to change them. She thinks she is caring for him while he feels he is being controlled by her. He just wants her acceptance but she presumes man does not know what to do and he cannot do it on his own. Men want to prove competencies by achieving things themselves.

Lesson-2: men go to their caves and women talk

Men and women manage their stress differently. Men become focused and withdrawn during stress time. They don’t like to disclose their stress. Women become overwhelmed and emotionally involved during these stressful times. Men feel better by solving problems or come out from stress whereas women feel better by talking about their problems in the stress time.

Men will retreat to their caves and he becomes quite in the time of stress. If he cannot find a solution, he will do something to forget his problems like watching TV or play a video game. On the other hand, women feel better by talking about their problems. She wants to express herself and feel understood before finding the solutions. A woman will appreciate a man if he truly listens to her.

Lesson-3: men are like rubber bands and women are like waves

A rubber band is a symbol of the male intimacy cycle. Men get close, pull away and then get close back. Men naturally have an urge to pull away from time to time. This is commonly misunderstood by women especially as they try to share their feelings.

A woman is like a wave. Women’s self–esteem rises and falls like a wave. Men can get confused and frustrated by thinking they have made her upset. As I mentioned earlier in lesson one, don’t give unwanted advice to her during this time and after listening to a woman don’t expect her to feel better straight away.

Lesson-4: Scoring points with the opposite human creature

How big or small a gift does not matter for women. They score just one point for that but in man’s mind, a bigger gift means more points. If a man gives a rose or demand ring, that means one point for women. Men get confused when their wives are not satisfied with gifts. Here love languages involve, I will write a separate blog for that.

Lesson-5: speaking a different language

When a man says he is fine, he should be fine. When a woman says she is fine, she might be fine or she might not be fine. Women speak poetically use superlatives symbols and men mistakenly take these expressions literally and misunderstand. Here an example, when a woman says I am cleaning the house but you are messing it up. It means she needs a rest today.

This book has genuinely helped you regardless of your gender. There are five important points that everyone can benefit from

• Don't give unwanted advice
• Understand people need space sometimes
• Listen to people when they talk
• It is a little thing that counts
• When someone is upset don't take words literally try to understand the underlying issue

A recommendation is to use these points for severe issues which lead to divorce. If you understand and apply these for every action in your relationship, then the relationship will be an official relationship. There are will not be a romance. Stay, as usual, if there is any big problem in your relationship, think about this book. This book will help you.

Thanks for reading this blog and I genuinely hope this helps you in improving your life. Best of luck with your successful relationship.

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