Tuka on recording House of the Rising Sun……

::TRIGGER WARNING::

This one is a little deep. It may trigger people, a big reason I’ve written this post is to provide a safe place for people to read about this issue. I apologise in advance if this post has a negative effect on you. My only intention here is one of love and healing and growth. Also, I want to shout out a massive appreciation to everyone that reached out to me over the last few days with their own stories, you know who you are. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Sending you all the strength I can muster. STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. Big love.

#AltJ #Reduxer #DomesticViolence #StopViolenceAgainstWomen#WhiteRibbon #HouseOfTheRisingSun

Ok, rant time…

Last Friday Alt-J released #Reduxer. I was lucky enough to be included on the record, which has truly been an extremely humbling experience I really can’t express how pumped I was to be apart of this project, I am such a fan of Alt-J.

Funnily enough the song that I contributed to was a cover of a super famous song “House Of The Rising Sun”. I guess you could call it a remix of a cover?

When news came through that I had the opportunity to be apart of this project and that ‘House Of The Rising Sun’ was the song I was a little taken back to say the least. Not so much the working with Alt-J bit (that was awesome!!!) it was more so the song choice, it’s heritage and the meaning behind the lyrics in general had me shook.

To be clear about the meaning of the song; the “house” is a brothel and the “rising sun” is a comment on how men would enter a brothel at the end of a boozy night and not leave until the sun comes up the next day, returning to their families. It’s most commonly told from the perspective of a father, a son, or a woman that works in a brothel. Without getting into too much history, it’s is a folk standard of sorts that tells of a life gone wrong in New Orleans.

The origin of the work isn’t exactly known. No doubt it would of been written by someone super talented that never got the recognition they deserve; it was a blues song that’s roughly over 100 years old. Over the years it’s basically been reinterpreted so many times that it’s impossible to know who came up with it?? Bob Dylan made the chords popular and ‘The Animals’ made a massive impact and basically kicked off the ‘British Invasion’ when they released their version of the track back in 1964, no doubt you’ve heard that version, it’s a classic .
It’s the type of song that an artist will insert their own story into the lyrics, so most versions of the song are kind personalised to the artist that is performing it. You should check out the original Alt-J released, like my version it is specifically personal.

So, why would this song be a strange one for me?? Not only did I grew up with this song being played a lot (by my mothers ex bf ironically enough), but the song is more or less about the dynamic of a broken home/family and the struggles of addiction and alcohol abuse. Something that I can relate to pretty deeply (as I’m sure a lot of you can). Up until now I’ve never really wanted to write about it, it’s touchy and something that to this day bothers me. To be fair I have written one song about my father/father figures before, it’s called “Missing You”. It was a hard one to pen, and to be honest after that I never thought I’d revisit the issue, I definitely never thought I’d go in depth about it. So when I realised that if I was going to approach this song I’d be writing about my father/ male figures in my life I wasn’t sure how to go about it. Ouch. Compared to some people my up bring wasn’t that bad, I understand this.. That being said, I’d be lying if I didn’t find some elements of it pretty traumatic. It’s something that I’ve carried around with me into adulthood; it’s the kind of thing that affects you on a subconscious level a lot of the time. It effects your relationships and it’s haunted me for a long time. Only in the last few years did I confront it, in fact I had forgotten it ever happened until I was triggered by something back in 2014. It’s not obvious to the naked eye… for me, growing up amongst it I thought it was normal, and only after reflecting did I realise that what happened wasn’t ok.

To be frank, I’ve straight up never had a respectable male role model in my life. Ever. My father, mum’s partner….even my uncle is a complete and utter jerk. They have been abusive to my family and in someway I’ve directly been effected by it. For me mental abuse and being in the proximity of physical abuse was the issue. I’ve spoken to many people about it over the years, professionals included. I’ve dealt with it as best I can but at the end of the day it’s my responsibility to rise above it and see it as a growing experience. It has helped shape who I am, in some ways it’s given me insights into things that a lot of people would have a clue about. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m gonna focus on the positive and vibrate that from now on. It’s the only way forward.

Power to my mother and any women that have been through or is going through this type of BS. My mum is the most caring and beautiful person I’ve ever met. She is an extremely strong and forgiving women. Everyone is different. For me talking about it never really helped, but I will say that writing this song did! Something heavy has been lifted, I feel better than I thought I would. Music makes the pain go away, or for me it did anyway.
That being said if you or someone you know are in similar or worse situation, I really urge you to think about how to improve what you are going through. It’s complicated I understand this, but for the sake of your own well being, please try to motivate yourself and find strength to make a change. In the long run it will be worth it for all involved. Toxic relationships effect everyone in a community, not just the people directly effected, so if you can put some thought into how to go about it.

If it’s happening to you at the moment please reach out to someone you 100% trust; if you don’t have someone around you, please think about approaching a support network such as Whiteribbon.org.au. It’s a cycle, it happens then it goes away then when you least expect it it happens again, just when you forgive and forget it will show itself. If it’s not addressed it will only end badly. Once is enough, once is a red flag, don’t wait act. You are worth more than whatever some jerk says about you, they are are just taking out their own BS on you and for that there is no excuse.

In the end, I decided to write this song to get it off my chest, to share the human experience. I don’t want pity and to be seen as a victim. I decided to write the song to connect with other people that have, or are going through the same thing, to let you know that you are not alone. Although it’s not “normal”, domestic violence is so prevalent it’s disgusting (one women dies every week due to domestic violence).

This has been a healing experience for me, again thank you everyone that reached out.
To be clear, violence shows its ugly head in many not just physical. Sexual, mental and financial abuse all disempower people and have traumatic effects that spill over and effect society at large.

PS. A few people asked about the outro to the song; yes it’s my dad. He rang me about a day after I’d recorded the song. He used to busk in Kings Cross and play ‘House of the rising sun’ in front of a brothel. I told him I was doing my own version and he just burst into a massive convo about the song. I had my mic on already
so I hit record and decided to include the dialogue as the outro. The universe works in strange ways….