[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Psy, Ed Ford Jr. as Old Guy]
Old guys turn me on we’re all about to have an orgy
Old guys turn me on and mannequin boob makes me horny
Old guys turn me on this is starting to get really gay
Now his pants are off
Come on guys you should all do the same

[Refrain: Bart Baker as Psy, Joana Perey as Treadmill Girl]
I have gonorrhea
That’s why I’m dancing this it’s so itchy
Gonorrhea, hoping to give it to this running lady
Gonorrhea, she’s ignoring me so I’ll increase her speed
Gonorrhea!
You Ass! I just broke my kneecaps!

[Pre-Chorus: Bart Baker as Psy]
I-I-I-I-I'm a—
I-I-I-I-I'm a—
I-I-I-I-I'm a—

[Chorus: Bart Baker as Psy]
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man

[Verse 2: Bart Baker as Psy]
I’ve got a problem
I can’t help but molest every lady
I’ve got a problem
Watching two men grind gives me a stiffy
I’ve got a problem
I love pranking girls on fancy dates
Cause it makes me cum
Then my friend makes them fall on their face

[Refrain: Bart Baker as Psy, Arika Sato as Gym Girl]
I think I need rehab
Disrespecting hotties makes me so happy
Need rehab
I see a sweaty girl, time to strip
I need rehab
Watch this pull-up, check out my ass, do you like that? (BAM!)
Need rehab
Peace slut!
Wait, I want to lick your nuts!

[Pre-Chorus: Bart Baker as Psy]
I-I-I-I-I'm a—
I-I-I-I-I'm a—
I-I-I-I-I'm a—

[Chorus: Bart Baker as Psy]
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man

[Bridge: Bart Baker as Psy, Austin Smith as Cop, Joana Perey as Treadmill Girl, Ben Loescher as Angry Father, *Blonde Female Club Goer *, **Brunette Female Club Goer**, ~Black Haired Female Club Goer~, ≈Male Club Goer≈]
Gonna lift your dress
Gonna grab your chest
You’re under arrest
What? Why?
For breaking my knees
You took my kids freak
*You grabbed my butt cheeks*
**And mine**
~And mine~
≈And mine≈
But I-I-I-I
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man

[Interlude: Austin Smith as Cop]
Well why didn't you say so?!

[Chorus: Bart Baker as Psy]
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man
I'm a—
I-I'm a—
I'm a—
Super creepy Asian man