[Verse 1]
Well, I wake up in the morning now, frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she's hidin' inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin' a Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

[Verse 2]
Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws
I ask who's in the fireplace and you say, "Santa Claus"
The milkman comes in wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?

[Verse 3]
I asked for somethin' to eat, I'm hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed and a dirty hot dog
I'vе got a hole where my stomach disappеared
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I gotta think you're really weird

[Verse 4]
Well your grandpa's cane, it turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets your uncle steals
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real

[Verse 5]
Then there's fistfights in the kitchen, they're enough to make me cry
And a milkman comes in, even he's got to take a side
And the butler, he's got something to prove
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, i can't believe why don't you move?