[Intro: Heems]
The white man can't even go outside
He'll get a disease
I'm talking about how like
White people can't even go outside into the sunlight
Without contracting a disease
Like that skin cancer
Got their SPF3000s
Can't even go out into the sunlight!
What good is that?
So they stay in their computer shorts
On their computers

[Hook: Jay-Z Sample]
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything

[Verse One: Heems]
All tan everything, all brown man
Sound man, sit down man, sit down man
All brown skin; Young Melanin
Melle Mel, melding malleable my metal shit
All tan man, Mantan Moreland
Demand more land, more ends, more land
Tan John Belushi in Coogi, dipping in Coochie
Tan Chris Farley in Gucci smoking on doobies
Tan Three Stooges, your style amateur
All tan botanical fanatic; saboteur
With the Thandie Newton-type tan chick
Your man sick, I'm known to eat a sandwich
Last tan nobleman of the last apocalypse
On the metropolis, an acropolis, poppin' shit
Out my esophagus, no, my voice box
Das Racist, we kinda like rap noise pop
Mad rhymes, finna blow up like landmines
All tan everything, shout out to tanlines
All tan khaki king, last white mogul
All you see is rupees when you Google
Rubies in his doo-doo, emeralds in his turban
Nervous, swervin' in the Suburban in Durban
All tan mans, stay tangent to Tanzania
With a Mia Farrow-looking sparrow to help me re-up

[Hook: Jay-Z Sample]
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything
All tan, all, all tan everything

[Verse Two: Kool A.D.]
All tan everything, Charles Chan everything
San Fran, New Millennium Minstrel on instrumentals
Eating lentils with Yentl and gentiles
Textile, tactile, black child, white child
White owls, Black and Mild, crack vial
Stat from mild, Geena Davis, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
Oops! Zoinks! Needle zooks!
Danny Devito in Roots, Burton comma Levar
Come as you are, Afro-Italo Cuban cigar
Follow me, follow me now, Toucan Sam
One hundred percent human clan
Kick it like new Van Damme
Damn, man, I see your crew ran-ran
Kool A-D, Hi-C, Juice Man
Cool tan, man, hyphy, ooh, damn, it's true fam
Running with more zebras than the zoo, man
Like the Blue Man Group except "Brown Man" and not "Blue Man"
Yeah figs on a table, call me Mabel Dodge Luhan
Two man in Peggy Noonan's booty with Bruce Banner
While Ann Coulter rocks the shit out with two hands
Ooh damn, Insane Brown Posse, soul dudes
Apolo Ohno's bro homo soul patch is so cool
Yo fool, break yourself from your Pro Tools
Plus your Fruity Loops, new dance, do the booty droop
On to the next one: now, do the booty scoop
Do the booty up, do the booty-ooty-alley-oop
Scooby-Dooby doo on the Bally so my fanny's cute
I'm my own identical cousin, just call me Patty Duke
I'm stuntin' like my daddy do
"Thug Life" right above my Natty Ice tatty too, stupid

[Outro: Jay-Z Sample]
Tan cards, tan cars, all tan everything