Cover art for Morbius vs. Dracula by Freshy Kanal

Morbius vs. Dracula

Jul. 28, 20221 viewer

Morbius vs. Dracula Lyrics

[Verse 1: Morbius (Chase Beck)]
Morbius
The best movie ever made (yuh, yuh)

The mic calls
Now I'm here to raise the stakes (yuh, yuh)

Blood doctor
But you don't wanna come test this

I keep it like Rotten Tomatoes
100%, bitch

This bat is draining ya now
Feels like Castlevania how
My attacks are breaking this Count

Axed in half, I'll name him Discount
You're a granddad who's chasin' and ransackin' ladies
Who can't act like they were aroused
Drac' captured dames that span half his age
But couldn't captivate a damn crowd, ouch!
The critics all be goin' crazy!
Got 'em shoutin' (Morbius!)

I hit up Martin Scorsese
Got him shoutin' (Morbius!)

You know I'm coppin' hoes daily
Got 'em shoutin' (Morbius!)
Fillin' Sony's dough craving
Now they shout for morе (-bius!)
[Verse 2: Dracula (Freshy Kanal)]
I have to bat
Against this vampire joke?
Ugh, I'll turn this Snapchat
Filtеr to a ghost

I've seen undead pale faces
For more than a century
But your looks are giving me
A different monster energy

Leto? No
I need better for breakfast
I'll wear you on my necklace
After I turn you neckless
As the Count from the street
Who's making massive numbers
Even I have to wonder
Who'd think to give you trash an Oscar?

You take everything Disney does
And make it mediocre
Sony feeds off Marvel's scraps so much
They even brought Vulture

A hodgepodge of pop culture
Your film is egregious
Reflected onto the silver screen
No wonder no one has seen it!

It's like 3 acts of terror
How your box office bomb hits

You're only delivering
When you're mailing used condoms

I took your babe
And flew into my province!
I must be MC Hammer
'Cause she's getting nailed in my coffin
[Verse 3: Morbius (Chase Beck)]
Call this the second weekend
The way I bring the crowd back
When I got your organs stingin'
I'm not talkin' 'bout your soundtrack
Your fart cloud ass stands no chance
So change your form in time
If this old man wants to dance
THEN IT'S MORBIN' TIME!

Hear a chorus of screams for the More to the B
Bring gore to the streets, but according to the lore that I read
While your enemies formed in a league
You're a dork staying indoors for a week
When you warred with the three, you were forced to retreat
But I got more than a pitchfork and a torch for my heat
So go get me a new foe I can beat
And the floor's gettin' cleaned with them: Morbius sweeps

[Verse 4: Dracula (Freshy Kanal)]
That was the worst
I mean, the verse you've written sucks

It's time to bring in a vampire
That knows true cinema!


[Verse 5: Edward Cullen (Littleflecks)]
If Sony Pictures
Won't stop tuggin' and pullin'
On the udders of the Marvel cash cow
Time for a cullin'

Jared, you should method act
As a better rapper

Want to lead a cult classic?
Then don't forget the latter!

Your movie scores have been mauled to death
Left theatres more empty than Stewart's performances
All that Morbius is fillin' screens with
Is more BS!
You sure that your disease was cured?
You got them rabies, kid
CGI came out lookin' worse
Than my baby did

What do you do in the shadow
Of the role that I was cast as?

Now you're a shit Joker
And a worse bat, man

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About

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Genius Annotation

This battle pits Dr. Michael Morbius, a Nobel Prize-winning chemist-turned-vampire originating from Marvel Comics in 1971 (and later known for his own film in 2022 starring Jared Leto) against Count Dracula, a vampire originating from the 1897 novel Dracula by Bram Stoker (and later popularized by the 1931 film adaptation starring Bela Lugosi).

This battle also features a guest rapper – Edward Cullen from the Twilight series of novels and movies – also a vampire.

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