[Intro]
One morning in Halloween Town
The Pumpkin King woke to a theft...
For someone had chopped all the Christmas trees down
And came looking to see what was left
Each gentleman gazed at the other
Like a mirror that spoke to his sins
Both pale-white and thin with skeletons grins...
Jack and Once-ler, alike him as twins!
Oh, the FUSS! Oh, the NOISE!
For these LANKY, UNSAVORY BOYS!
Me oh my! Me oh me! TMI! AO3!
Every Tumblr board plotted its ploys...
'Til up rose the axe of the Once-ler
And he sprayed it all over poor Jack
Who arosе with a twisted expression
And a vеnomous verbal ATTACK!

[Verse 1: Jack Skellington]
Why, hello!
What a peculiar mushroom-nosed fellow
I heard you've embarked on a crazed mission to make millions
Stick to your books; keep that plague-ridden face hidden
While we both lose our heads, yours was turned to pudding
As your mind unravelled, like Oogie Boogie
Deep down, all that's fueling the smoke and polluting's
Your relatives' mockery leaving you fuming
So follow your heart, not your family's greed
Let corruption grow once they planted the seed
As they poisoned your mind with their rotten entitlement
All for you to regift that toxic environment
What's this? The empty remnants of hills and valleys
You have a vision of the future more grim than Sally's
So stop cutting all the trees down
And please make your way back to Hollowing-town

[Verse 2: The Once-ler]
How's this for holiday magic?
The Elfman Burton has slaving away to make classics
You got that Frankenstein doll to pursue ya
Just to end up as more of a screw-up
You fought to escape a life so mundane
Then circled right back? Now that's just chump change
While puzzling your chums with holiday junk
Pal, you're one to judge; we both leave lands stumped
Poor old Jack, it's business! So know your facts
The goods with the most demand run out the lower racks
And the naïve ones? You know how they turn out
Crashing in flames, left with real burnout

[Verse 3: Jack Skellington]
Why, you've thought so small!
Money won't grow on trees when you've chopped them all!
I shall give to the people the greatest of nights
While you take all that you can except good advice
You're a slave to your figures keeping them climbing
But I only need one Zero to guide me!
I'll be passing out gifts from these wishlists
While you're crashing, just like your Thneed business
I'll visit your studio - fly right by!
Why, if you can go over their heads, why can't I?
While you look through your boards to a world killed by greed
A sickness that your Dr. Seuss couldn't treat!
In a million years, they'll find all that is left:
Mere dust and a plaque by its side, unless...

[Verse 4: The Once-ler]
Who cares about some wildlife?
You're the Pumpkin King, but I carved my place in the skyline
You went and put Sandy Claws through the ringer
Just for your dreams to slip through your fingers
Spent your days through the winter season
Decorating your Christmas treason
All they ever gave you for your little scheme
Was the lead you tasted like a trigg-er treat
So I'm figgering that I'll keep biggering
Turning your town to one notch in my industry
But if you want a new spot to run, I'll take you back with me
And this fossil can power my factories
Traumatizing youths, saying I'm so cruel
When that sack full of gifts runs on nightmare fuel
So, compared to the scars that you leave
How bad can I possibly be?