[Intro: will.i.am, Tom Cat, SnapCube & Rivers Cuomo]
Ha, ha
AAAAHHHHHH!
Haha, ha, one!
Ha, ha
AAAAHHHHHH!
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me

[Verse 1: Rivers Cuomo]
It's do or die
And I'm burning up inside
I know that something really isn't right
I shake, I sweat
I'm writhing in the bed
For just a puff, just a little spike

[Pre-Chorus: Rivers Cuomo, Leslie Jones & Matt Damon]
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Sounds like you're into the new stuff
Damn straight
I mean, I think they're doing somе cool things right now

[Chorus: Rivers Cuomo]
Could I have one more hit?
I promisе I'll quit
This shit ain't good for me
I really need one more hit
And I'll be good
You really shouldn't go cold turkey

[Post-Chorus: Rivers Cuomo, SNL Cast & Matt Damon]
Cold turkey
They've been trash since 2001, son
Cold turkey
I didn't even know they were still a band
Cold turkey
Come on, it's Weezer!
Cold turkey
Oh, this song sounds familiar, what is it again?

[Verse 2: Rivers Cuomo, Leslie Jones & Matt Damon]
What's with these homies dissin' my girl?
Oh, oh I'm sor—, you're dumb!
Oh, you're dumb!
"Pork and Beans" is better than "Buddy Holly"
Everyone likes to dance to a happy song
With a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along
Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts
Maybe if I work with him, I can perfect t—

[Pre-Chorus: Rivers Cuomo, Matt Damon & Leslie Jones]
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Why don't you grow the hell up
Listen to Raditude, listen to Pacific Daydream
Hahaha, Pacific Daydream is not music, man

[Chorus: Rivers Cuomo]
Could I have one more hit?
I promise I'll quit
This shit ain't good for me
I really need one more hit
And I'll be good
You really shouldn't go cold turkey

[Post-Chorus: Rivers Cuomo, Matt Damon, Leslie Jones & Cecily Strong]
Cold turkey
No offense, but burn in hell
Cold turkey
Have you even listened to "Memories"?
Cold turkey
You a grown ass man
Cold turkey
You know what band I always liked: Yellowcard

[Verse 3: Ryan Key, will.i.am & Laniaptor]
There's a place off Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We were Weezer
Ha, ha
AAHHH!

[Pre-Chorus: Rivers Cuomo, Senzawa & Likee]
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
Pump it up into me
Please, daddy, please, daddy
Pump it up, pump it up
Into me
I hope daddy
Likee

[Verse 4: TeamFourStar]
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom, boom, boom, boom
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom chicka ahh, boom chicka ahh
Boom, boom, boom, boom
Green Day
Oh shit, motherfucka!

[Chorus: Rivers Cuomo]
Could I have one more hit?
I promise I'll quit
This shit ain't good for me
I really need one more hit
And I'll be good
You really shouldn't go cold turkey

[Outro: Rivers Cuomo, Leslie Jones, Matt Damon, & NUT]
Cold turkey
Weezer died when Matt Sharp left
Cold turkey
Weezer didn't start until Scott Shriner got there
Cold turkey
Oh, you tryna die
Cold turkey
No offense Tammy, but drink my blood
NUT