CHANGE YOUR SUICIDE NOTE

Aisi nahi sochi thi jindagi is tareh se khatam hogi, na ye socha tha ki raahe (routes) is taheh bhi badal (change) jaati hai.

Koi rok (stop) le bus itna keh ker k teri jarurat (need) hai mujhe to shayad ye pair ruk bhi jaye, per na jane ye jindagi rukhi rukhi si kyo lag rhi hai.

Ye waqt (time) hi kharab (bad) hai ya kharabi mujhme hai koi, kyo mujhe apno ki fikar nahi ab or kyo nahi ab mujhe aawaj de raha koi.

Chah (wish) itni si reh gayi k bus thoda sa akele (alone) baith ker sab pal (memories) yaad krna chahta hu. Wo pal jo bitaye apno k sath apno k bich or apno k liye.

Ab lag raha k jaise sari mushkile (troubles) khatam ho jayengi, in ankho ne bhi chehra (face) bhigo (wet) ker rakha hai.

Naa jaane aisa mahsoos (feel) bhi kyo nhi ho rha k koi reh jayega (left) mere piche mera dukh sehne k liye. Bus apni hi lagi hai ab in akhiri palo me.

Nahi soch raha mai k kya bitegi mere maa baap (parents) per jab wo dekhenge apni ankhon se mera chehra. Janta hu ye khayal (thought) bhi aaya agr dil me to jaa nahi paunga mai.

Taiyar (ready) to hu is safer (journey) k liye per pta nhi kyo ye pair chlna (movement) nhi chah rhe, kyo ye najre (sight) dhoond (searching) rhi kisi ko in akhiri pallo (moments) me.

Koi bus ek bar bol de k tu lad (fight) skta hai in sb mushkilo se kyonki apni aawaaj (voice) mujhe ab door (far) si jati mahsoos ho rahi hai.

Woh aawaj jo shayad koi jane k bad lagaaye k kaash is bat ka unhe pta hota. Kash koi bhej de use jo apnepan ki duhaiya dega mera hi paas khada hoker.

Kyo aisa nahi ho skta k jo kal mai dekh nahi paunga wo koi aaj dikha (show) de mujhe. Kyo mai tadap (getting tortured) raha hu jis chij k liye wo mil jaaye shaayad jab mai dekh (see) na payu usse.

Kya sach (fact) hai ye k marne k bad koi mushkil nahi bachegi, ya us waqt (time) bus kuch krne k liye nahi bachega mere paas..

Aisa ho skta hai kya k ye jo mai krne ja raha hu galat (wrong) lge us waqt, jb waqt hi hatho se nikal gya hoga. Soch rha hu ab bhi thaam (stay) lu in kadmo ko sb thik krne k liye.

Ek mai hi to nhi is jahaan me in mushkilo k sath, or bhi to honge jo lad (fight) rhe honge. Ab mili taqat (strength) mujhe kuch apne hi kahe lafjo (words) se. 

Shayad ye hi jindagi hai jise khud hi ladna (fight) hota hai apne liye. Na jaane kyo dhund raha tha jo dusro me wo apne hi ander (inside) ki awaaj me chupa (hidden) tha.

Ye khayal bhi ab mujhe chu nahi sakta k chala jau agr jarurat nhi kisi ko meri. 

Aaj subeh (morning) hi maa k chehre (face) per ek jhilmilati khushi (happiness) si dekhi, dil jaise ek pal k liye saham sa gya k agr kuch galat ker baithta to kaisa maahol bn gya hota.

Ab mai khush (happy) hu apno k sath apno k bich, or ab mushkile bhi door (gone) ho gyi hai. Kaise toot (break down) jata hai insaan haar (fail) k is jindagi se per kaise tham skta hai ye sikha diya is vaqt ne.