There is a scene from the 2022 Netflix series Inventing Anna – which tells the story of Anna Sorokin, who conned New York’s elite into thinking she was a Russian heiress – that I always think about. Anna is dining with a squad of her rich friends in an elite hotspot. When the time comes to pay – an eye-watering $30,000 – the group of rich kids toss their credit cards into a bowl. They chant and excitedly bang on the table while Anna closes her eyes and picks one. The card belongs to “pharma bro” Martin Shkreli, who casually pays the five-figure bill like it’s a cup of coffee.
For me, this is the ultimate fantasy: to be so grotesquely rich that I could avoid the excruciating routine of splitting the bill by simply taking care of it myself. Why? I’d go as far as to say that splitting a bill between friends is the worst part of group dinners, or holidays abroad. Life’s too short to be spent trying to work out how much everyone owes, or worrying that someone is secretly seething that you’re splitting the bill equally when they only ordered a salad, or didn’t drink alcohol.
Now, like everything from arranging a grocery delivery to selling used clothes or indulging a foot fetish, there is an app to help. On holiday in Bologna earlier this summer, I used Splitwise – an app that promises to take the pain out of splitting the bill. The concept is simple: different people pay for meals, rounds of drinks or whatever other expenses you have, then everyone inputs what they spent into the app. At the end of the trip, Splitwise works out exactly how much everyone owes. It even uses a formula to minimise the transactions. Neat, right?
There are lots of other apps, such as Settle Up, Tab and Splid, which similarly promise to make splitting the bill less of a hassle. Clearly, it’s a specific issue that people feel they need an app to help with. Claer Barrett, presenter of the Financial Times’ Money Clinic podcast, thinks money is still such an awkward thing for groups of friends to navigate because it is related to our perception of social status.
“The image and lifestyle we want to project to our friends could be different from the financial reality,” she says. “Saying ‘I can’t afford that’ or suggesting a more budget-friendly option puts us in an emotionally vulnerable position – we don’t know how our friends might react or judge us.”
Personally, I had a mixed experience with Splitwise. On one hand, it was great to not have to deal with splitting the bill in precious holiday time. But one of the main drawbacks was that, because different people paid for things and only added their final tallies at the end, it was difficult to keep up with how much I was actually spending. I ended up spending a lot more than I thought. (If you’re using the app, make sure everyone inputs their expenses as you go, so you don’t end up like me.)
Splitwise also doesn’t completely erase any possibility for awkward haggling. It simply delays it. Human nature will mean that someone will always question whether they were actually there when that round of Aperols were bought. Personally, I think that undignified back-and-forths over an app, in full view of the rest of the group, are probably worse than a brief moment of in-person tension.
Barrett thinks that apps like Splitwise can be helpful for groups of friends travelling together, but for them to work, everyone in the group needs to adopt the same money mindset. “What costs are going to be borne by the group, and what ‘extras’ are down to individuals? In restaurants, are you going to split bills equally, or divvy them up so you each pay for what you’ve had? If one person has a much smaller room in the Airbnb, is it fair for them to pay a bit less?” she says. “As awkward as these conversations can be, they are infinitely preferable to having huge friendship-ruining arguments or unspoken resentments about money.”
Being in the same “money mindset” is obviously easier if everyone in the group has a similar budget. Psychologist Ian MacRae, author of Dark Social, tells me that conversations about money can also be uncomfortable because we all have different ideas about what is important to us. On a holiday, someone might prefer to spend money on excursions, whereas other people might prefer to splash out on accommodation or food and drink. “Conversations about money are not always based on shared beliefs,” he says. “That’s difficult enough to navigate between two people, but it becomes exponentially more complex in groups.”
MacRae agrees that apps like Splitwise can be helpful, but that depends entirely on the users and their relationships with each other – and also with money. “These apps are usually trying to come up with a simple mathematical solution to a social question,” he says. “It’s now technically cheaper and faster to move money electronically, which is great, but it doesn’t solve any of the social situations we have to navigate alongside money.”
It’s not surprising that all-inclusive holidays are on the rise again, particularly for groups of friends. I’m convinced it’s not just about saving money – which is always nice, particularly in a cost of living crisis – it’s also about having more transparency and certainty around how much you’re spending, so you can fully relax.
If you’re not going all-inclusive, Barrett recommends open communication about money from the get-go. “If talking about what you can all realistically afford is awkward, start the conversation by using a poll on WhatsApp,” she suggests. “You could find out that your friends are more budget-conscious than you might think!”
Although I spent slightly more than I intended to in Bologna, I still had a fabulous time eating the world’s best pasta. Now that it’s all paid for, I wouldn’t take one bite of beef ragu back. But I’m not convinced that apps like Splitwise – or anything – can make divvying up money between friends completely pain-free. The central issue is that we all have different amounts of money. And that’s just quite awkward, isn’t it?
