I stopped drinking in 2019, when I became pregnant. When my daughter was born in 2020, I continued to abstain, and other than occasions like Christmas when I’d have a glass of champagne, was completely alcohol-free.
The reasons I abstained from alcohol are layered. A big part of it was health anxiety, which I was diagnosed with after giving birth: it’s related to obsessive compulsive disorder, and means you spend so much time worrying you’re ill that it starts to take over your life.
There’s no shortage of media and new studies coming out every week about how bad alcohol is for you, with links to cancer and new advice on how much is safe. I thought I’d die early and leave behind my child if I didn’t cut it out. Why would I consume a carcinogen? Why would anyone? I was even angry with my husband when he drank wine at home.
With my physical health as my main priority, cutting alcohol out entirely seemed the only way to beat cancer and stay healthy for my new baby. I avoided alcohol the same way I did smoking, and didn’t even want to be in places where people were drinking.
I also have a family history of alcoholism, and worried I was susceptible to addiction. Cousins died. I believed it was too risky to have even one drink due to the addiction gene I might have inherited. I was never a heavy drinker, and didn’t have a problem stopping after a few drinks. I didn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs. I didn’t even play the lottery. Yet I was convinced I’d become an alcoholic if I had a glass of wine because of a genetic predisposition to addiction.
It meant I turned down social invitations, because I didn’t want to drink, and didn’t want to explain why. Skipping any kind of night at a cocktail or wine bar felt like the easiest option.
I tried to stay social initially, but after going on one sober night out with drinkers, and having a terrible and boring time, I decided I’d just say no in future. When everyone else went out, I stayed in sipping Diet Coke and congratulated myself on saying no and staying cancer-free.
The thing is, I didn’t even save money because I went to coffee shops constantly if I wanted to see anyone, which was just as expensive. And probably just as bad for me because instead of a glass of wine I’d have a cappuccino and a cake at £10 a round.
I did feel sad when I saw photos being posted on social media of events I had been invited to. But I really believed I was doing what was right in abstaining – and staying home alone on the sofa.
There were moments which made me question if it was worth it. On a European cruise I took in August, I drank only mocktails. They were sugar-filled, syrup-laced, both colour and additive-loaded – but crucially, alcohol-free. I couldn’t help but wonder, as we sailed the Mediterranean, with steel drums playing, whether quitting alcohol a total waste of time if I was drinking sugar-filled substitutes. Surely the dash of rum wouldn’t make it much worse?
But it was when I moved to the countryside in September that I dipped my toes back in. In a rural village with a few pubs, it was that or church if I wanted to see anyone ever again. So I went to the pub with my husband and daughter, and had a half pint of cider. And nothing happened. I didn’t get drunk. I didn’t need another. I went back again the next day, and had another half pint of cider. I did the same the next week, and the week after that.
“In moderation, a little social sipping can help take the edge off and reduce stress,” says psychologist Veronica West, founder of My Thriving Mind. “A glass of wine or a pint can feel like a permission slip to unwind, connect and laugh. Studies show that laughter, shared stories and feeling part of a group are all great for mental health.”
Sure enough, I met new people. I spoke to parents from my daughters’ school – a social event I missed out on last year when she was in nursery. Maybe I’ll even make friends this year, I thought, something I’d not managed to do the year before because I didn’t want to go out at night time.
“You don’t need to drink to socialise, but I accept that it makes it easier for some people,” says Dr Alistair Scott , a bowel cancer surgeon, and director of healthcare service Selph. “It’s all about moderation. Drinking half a cider is okay, drinking five pints is not. You’re probably better off drinking a high quality cider than a Coke, but there are better non-alcoholic drinks out there.”
Have I wasted the last five years? Other than dates with my husband, I haven’t been on a night out since 2019. I thought about all the events I’d turned down because I was hiding from booze. Quitting alcohol had left me socially isolated.
Yes, I could avoid cancer at home, but is “does this give you cancer” the only important metric when it comes to making decisions about our health? What about mental health, or the benefits of socialising?
Studies show that while moderate drinkers live longer than heavy drinkers, moderate drinkers also live longer than complete abstainers like me. There’s also correlational data that shows that while Gen Z are the most “sober curious” generation, they are also the loneliest and spend the most time indoors. Around a third of people aged 18-24 do not drink alcohol at all. Do the benefits of getting out there and meeting people ever negate the health consequences of consuming alcohol?
“There are no health benefits of drinking alcohol, it is still a poison,” says Dr Scott firmly. “One explanation for why we see abstainers do worse than those who drink a little, is that they were unhealthy to begin with. The healthiest amount to drink is still none.”
In 2023, the Canadian government made a recommendation that zero alcoholic drinks per week is the only risk-free amount. The UK’s current NHS guidelines were last updated in 2016, and state that we can drink 14 units a week; research from Alcohol Change UK shows that one in five British adults regularly drink more than this. But Dr Scott says that even 14 units is still too high.
“We should be having something closer to two units,” he says. “We are seeing record numbers of people under 50 with bowel cancer, and we think alcohol consumption is the reason.” When it comes to “health myths” like the benefits of drinking red wine, “unfortunately 10-15 per cent by volume of red wine is ethanol”, he points out. “Yes, in low doses, the harmful effects may be negligible, but it has a fundamentally toxic effect on our cells and is therefore a poison nonetheless.”
“There’s some evidence that moderate alcohol consumption might support heart health,” says West. “That said, this doesn’t mean the drink is doing the magic – it’s about the vibe, the relaxation and the community around it.”
Since a few half pints of cider are relatively low unit wise, I’m going to continue visiting the pub for the social benefits which I think outweigh the health risks for me. Because sitting at home alone watching Netflix is also a health risk, really. There are physical effects, and real health benefits of socialising and the community hub where I live just happens to be the local pub.
