Being a woman in your 30s means experiencing a whole host of changes – from health and wellbeing to lifestyle and career transitions. While it’s natural to feel uncertain about what the future holds, think of this as a time to identify what you need in your life.
As our bodies and priorities shift, it’s crucial to make intentional choices that help us feel our best. These expert-backed insights across key areas will help you live a life with intention and confidence.
1. Start journalling for success
‘Success’ is a recurring theme that chartered psychologist Dr Manpreet Dhuffar-Pottiwal encounters with her mid-30s clients. They discover it isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ concept, and its meaning often differs from when they were in their twenties.
It’s a deeply personal journey that varies from person to person. “Success might mean climbing the corporate ladder, while for others, it might look like travelling or dedicating time to personal passions.” She continues: “Take a step back and reflect on what truly resonates with you.”
Dr Dhuffar-Pottiwal has some essential journal prompts: “What are the experiences that make me feel fulfilled? What are the goals that ignite my passion? Is it spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing a creative hobby, or contributing to my community?”
2. Take risks in friendship and dating
“Building relationships around you leads to a life filled with love, connection, and joy, breaking free from the chains of isolation,” explains Dr Dhuffar-Pottiwal. This stage, especially in our thirties, is crucial for forming deep, meaningful relationships.
“I typically work with women in their thirties who struggle to connect with others due to fear of vulnerability. They might avoid dating or opening up to friends, leading to feelings of loneliness.” Dr Dhuffar-Pottiwal says “you should start taking risks” by inviting people out to socialise, speaking up in meetings or even making it a goal to make small talk with your barista.
3. Start Pilates (and stick to it)
For women in their 30s, fitness should involve an enjoyable mix of strength, mobility, and cardio, says Giverney Edwards, a fitness coach and wellness-focused executive assistant at The Lifestyle EA.
“Building our bodies to be strong enough to grow effortlessly with us — by maintaining muscle, functionality, and flexibility — is an investment worth making,” she explains.
Edwards suggests incorporating all three elements into a single discipline like Dynamic Reformer Pilates, if you are short on time.
“Whatever fitness regime you choose,” she adds, “consider investing in a few personal training or foundational sessions to ensure your form is safe and that the movements truly benefit you.”
4. Learn to eat for nourishment (not punishment)
Le’Nise Brothers is a nutritional therapist who specialises in women’s health, hormones and the menstrual cycle. As we move towards perimenopause and beyond, Brothers urges us to “redefine our relationship with food and move away from restriction to help support our bodies for the better.”
“The nutrients from the food we eat provide the scaffolding for so many parts of our body” she explains. “Fats help us make hormones like oestrogen and progesterone and improve our brain health.” She adds “protein supports our thyroid, and the health of our hair, skin and nails, and complex carbohydrates provide the energy to do everything we need to do.”
5. Take vitamin D for your bones
It’s essential to take care of our bones, since they play such a vital role in our body. Otherwise it can lead to developing fragile bones, also known as osteoporosis. Once you hit 30 our bones stop growing in density, and from the age of 35, we start losing bone mass.
Nutritionist and Chartered Psychologist, Dr. Naomi Newman-Beinart suggests taking “vitamin D, combined with K2, to help prevent bone loss and regulate cortisol levels at the same time.” She adds “absorbed more effectively than pills, a spray format is a good choice during the UK’s winter months when deficiencies are most likely.”
6. Pleasure yourself (to relieve stress and reconnect)
“Sexual desire, whether for partnered or solo activities, naturally ebbs and flows in line with our hormones,” explains Samantha Marshall, sexpert and head of brand at Smile Makers. According to Marshall, prioritising pleasure is often overlooked, but crucial. “It helps boost libido, reconnect with ourselves or our partners, and reduces stress.
“Touching ourselves helps us understand what stimulation we enjoy and helps us establish what our ‘normal’ feels like,” she adds.
Feeling at ease with our own bodies can also “enhance self-efficacy when it comes to things like cervical screenings.”
7. Set up a ‘freedom fund’
To develop a healthier relationship with your finances, set up a “freedom fund” and review financial goals regularly.
Tinisha Graham, psychology expert and the host of IE Hub’s Pocket Perspectives podcast, shares insights into the psychological aspects of our relationship with money and debt.
She explains “regular check-ins combat financial anxiety, giving you a sense of control over your money.” She adds: “a “freedom fund” for major life events like further education and career changes will make sure that you are prepared for anything life may throw at you.”
8. Make plans around your menstrual cycle
Menstrual cycles impact both our physical and emotional wellbeing. Le’Nise Brothers advises noting down any particular feelings and emotions at any given time in your cycle. “Many women report feeling much more anxious before their period but also much more powerful before ovulation — harness these feelings to your advantage.”
“Use your pre-ovulation phase to give a big presentation at work, have a difficult conversation or make some decisions you’ve been considering,” suggests Brothers. Conversely, just before your period arrives, “consider taking a moment before ploughing straight into a tricky situation — give yourself time to see if you still feel that way in a week.”
Graham explains that phases of your period can also affect your financial behaviour: “During the follicular phase (Day 1-14), you may feel more focused and disciplined — perfect for budgeting or making significant financial decisions.”
However, the luteal phase (Day 15-28) can be a risky period, as “fluctuating hormones may trigger emotional spending, so it’s best to avoid major purchases during this time.”
