Last week, I sat down to go through the countless text messages from my kids’ school. They all go to the same state-run primary school in Wales. I have three children, ages 10, eight, and six, so the messages are abundant, coming in thick and fast as we near the holiday season. This particular week, many of the texts contained money-related messages.
There were reminders about payments for pantomimes and Halloween parties, nudges to send pocket money for school trips, requests for raffle donations, information about upcoming Christmas concerts, and encouragement to send in money in support of charity.
Having three children, each request for money must be tripled. One pound here and there turns into three pounds here and there.
The little payments all start to add up. Then there are the larger payments – the day and overnight trips.
In the past year, I have paid around £880 to my children’s school. This figure covers school trips, spending money for those school trips, raffles, parties, fun events, and charity and school fundraisers, but it doesn’t cover every single pound the kids have been asked to bring in.
Fortunately, I’m not living on the breadline. We’re a two-income family, both on less-than-median incomes, but we’re still able to easily pay for all our basic expenses.
Even still, I still feel overwhelmed each time I get a text from the school asking for money, especially around the holiday season. It’s just another thing to pay for in the middle of an already expensive time of the year.
When I only had one in school, I hardly noticed what the school was asking for. I never remembered thinking twice about sending money in. But as they grow up, and there is more than one in school, I feel the pinch each time I get a message from the school for another financial request.
I know from talking to teachers in my circle of friends that in part, all the asks have to do with dwindling school funding.
I can’t fault my kids’ school on much at all – it’s a brilliant group of headteachers, teachers, and teaching assistants who have given my three kids a top-notch education, nurturing care, and perspective-widening experiences. But the financial burden feels like a lot at times, especially around the holidays.
I could just tell the kids “no” but then they’d feel left out. They’d be the kids who didn’t go on the trip. The kids who didn’t bring in 20p coins for the Easter egg roll. The kids who didn’t put their name in for the raffle. The kids who didn’t bring in money for the school fundraiser. The kids who didn’t go ice skating. So, I suck it up and pay, justifying it by telling myself that I’ll just be more careful on other spending.
It isn’t just me though.
Emily Cleary, a mum and writer in Buckinghamshire, told me the emails and text giving deadlines for “voluntary contributions” to her two children’s school is a huge pressure.
“I’ve been able to afford it so far, but I know several parents who struggle,” she says. “It causes real anxiety about what may be asked for next.”
Although she loves the school gives her children opportunities, she finds the requests for money “hit hard” on her wallet.
Hayley Horts, a mum of three and council worker in Wales, has considered calling in to the school telling them her kids are sick so she doesn’t have to send in the money that’s been requested.
“I’ve spent over £200 pounds on school-related expenses since April,” she tells me.
To pay for her year six son to go on the school’s four-day residential trip at the end of the year, Hayley had to pay her council tax bill late.
“I don’t have much money left after I pay all our bills,” she says. “The money requests from school sometimes just feel like they tip my finances over the edge. It’s such a pressure.”
A mum of two in Yorkshire, Amy Swales, told me she has dropped more than £200 on ParentPay, an online payment system that allows parents to pay for school-related expenses without using cash, since the start of September.
“I can’t blame the school,” she says. “They desperately need funding and extracurricular activities are important, but we’re feeling the pain now that we have two kids in primary school. Double everything stacks up very quickly. The last payment of £147 was really jarring.”
When I asked a Facebook group I’m a part of, the large majority who are mothers, if they felt the same as Emily and I, so many agreed.
“I don’t need the stress of it.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“It’s relentless.”
“These voluntary contributions are crippling me.”
It would be easy for me just to push the blame on the school, but I can’t and won’t do that. They are genuinely doing the best they can to provide my children with memorable experiences and useful resources.
But I wonder how much they are considering that not all parents are rolling in extra money to easily afford all the money asks coming through via text and email from the school, especially at holidays.
And, they are just very strapped for cash, like schools all over the UK.
In April, a survey found that 95 per cent of school leaders in England said they had to generate additional income through other sources such as charity grants and fundraising to cover basic costs for core resources.
More recently, a poll of 504 school-aged parents and 625 primary school teachers found 95 per cent of educators say a lack of funding has affected learning at their school. Nine in 10 parents said they had been asked to donate to their child’s school – with 51 per cent of these asked multiple times a year.
“In terms of what the data says, spending per pupil fell by 9 per cent from 2010-2019,” says Dr Will Baker, Associated Professor in Sociology and Education at the University of Bristol. “Since then, while there has been a £6bn increase in real-terms spending, things like inflation and rising schools costs have put huge financial pressure on schools. It’s clearly the case that very significant numbers of schools are struggling financially and this means they are finding it incredibly challenging to give children the support and education they need and deserve. In this respect, schools are clearly underfunded.”
The key financial challenges, according to Dr Baker, have been teachers’ pay, maintaining buildings, special educational needs and mental health budgets.
“When schools are struggling to provide the basics for children, it’s reasonable to say that this amounts to a funding crisis. This is one of the reasons a majority of schools are turning to families,” he says.
Tina* is a 44-year-old mum of two in Scotland who recently resigned as chair of the PTA at her children’s school because of the “strain of trying to raise thousands of pounds to plug funding gaps.”
“Examples of funding requests included £3,500 to replace classroom technology which the local authority will not replace when it reaches the end of its life,” she tells me.
The £3,500 was only a fraction of what she says is needed tech wise – ideally, they would have funded £20,000 to replace everything that’s needed.
Other requests included money for school trip transport, wobbly chairs and ear defenders for children with special educational needs, literacy and numeracy resources, and gym equipment.
Fundraising was done via events like the Halloween parties, Christmas fair and raffle, sports day, and bake sales.
“I felt angry I was carrying this strain simply because the local authority and government are not funding schools properly,” she says. “But I felt the school was using us as a human shield. They didn’t want to ask parents for money but were happy for us to do so.”
In the school my children attend, there is a wide range of socio-economic situations among families. I am absolutely certain that there are families who receive money requests from school and either have to decline to let their child participate, or make severe sacrifices themselves so their child could take part.
While I find the money requests inconvenient, others I’m sure, find them crippling. And to ask for the school’s help would feel shameful.
“Against the backdrop of the cost of living crisis and deep poverty, this [some of the financial costs of education being shifted onto families] is something that can be impossible for families who are already struggling,” Baker says. “Many families simply can’t afford to do this. It also creates expectations that parents should be contributing and those that can’t may feel guilt or shame or stigma.”
He’s also concerned that as schools are forced to rely on donations from families, there is risk of exacerbating inequalities between schools.
For the most part, our state schools, including the one my children attend, are doing exceptional jobs taking care of our children, providing them with a quality education and diverse experiences. But the financial burden of educating our children is taking a toll on schools, and now also parents like me and countless others.
It’s time the Government stops asking families to take on the cost of educating our children, recognising they are our future. And time for schools to have a think, alongside families, about what is reasonable to ask for from families, and what isn’t.
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