How was it for you? Have you had a Christmas debrief yet? You may not have thought you even need to – after all, it is just one day in a whole year. But whether we celebrate Christmas or not, it is helpful to have a download either with yourself, or with someone else.
Aside from the religious meaning of Christmas for some, many of us have an extraordinary amount of pressure put on us – either by ourselves, by others or by society itself.
There are months of preparation, marketing and adverts that make us think we must create the most perfect of days, with everything and everyone happy, that we have to buy lots of presents to make others feel loved or to feel loved ourselves and spend a lot of money ensuring everyone has a good time. Whatever celebration this was for you, and whatever meaning it had associated with it, that is an awful lot to manage.
And then, it is gone. And we are left either with good memories, impactful ripples or sometimes a challenging aftermath to clear up.
If we ignore the emotions, then we miss out on some significant benefits for our mental and emotional health, and potentially don’t process the impact that Christmas Day may have had.
Firstly, stop and sit and think about how you might label the Christmas you just had, and then work it through.
A good Christmas
Even if you had the best Christmas ever, it is still worth taking the time to reflect on it. Why? Well, because science tells us that gratitude and replaying happy memories can make us feel better and are good for our mental and emotional wellbeing. Being grateful for a lovely time can trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin – feel-good neurotransmitters – in our brains.
It can also help us in managing and reducing stress and the production of the stress hormone, cortisol, as well as potentially having a beneficial impact on our cognition and how well our brains work. Feeling grateful can also become a habit and helps us focus on happier moments, reframing the challenging stuff – so the more we do it, the better. Write down a list of people, experiences and moments that you are grateful for this past Christmas.
An indifferent Christmas
Sometimes our Christmas is neither good nor bad – it is just ok. We tend to have huge expectations about what Christmas Day is going to be like, and when it doesn’t quite live up to those, we can feel disappointment, which can colour our view of the day. Try to reframe this and see that an all-right time is better than a “bad” time. Think about how your expectations may have had an impact on your view of the day and let them go.
Try to pick out some moments that made you feel happy and loved, or some moments where you managed to enjoy some rest and relaxation. Think about what made it not so good and try to identify some themes – these can be useful in working out what makes you happy and what doesn’t, which is helpful to carry forward into 2025. Beware comparison with friends or colleagues’ reports of their day, or their Instagram feeds – these are often littered with filters and selectivity. Find a friend to debrief with who is authentic and who can tell it how it is.
A tough Christmas
Be aware that even if we label something “bad” it may not be 100 per cent so. In days of challenge, or conflict, or argument or tension, we can find very useful life lessons. We can find out a lot about who we really are, and we have the ability and opportunity to make relationships better and change dynamics. Maybe your family experienced lots of tension over Christmas, or maybe your family weren’t together, or perhaps someone you love has died or is no longer part of your life.
Maybe you spent the day on your own and felt the absence of anyone around, or maybe your health has not been good. Remember, it is just one day and it doesn’t have to define you. What feelings did you have? What were they trying to tell you about what you want, or need or deserve? What do you want to bring into your life? Make sure you express all those feelings – cry, be sad, breathe, write, move your body and let them pass through, and make sure you are asking for the support you need.
Christmas is sometimes lovely, and sometimes not. Life will always change and that is what can give us comfort and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
