In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.
Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally, is your partner overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and the i money and business team will do our best to answer.
This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at money@inews.co.uk with yours.
Dilemma
Recently, I bought this beautiful and sparkly but expensive dress for New Year’s Eve. It was one of those “treat yourself” purchases – I’d saved up for it, and I’d been eyeing it up for weeks.
When it arrived, I was absolutely thrilled. It fits like a glove, the colour is exactly what I wanted, and it’s just the right balance of fancy without being too over-the-top. I was already imagining how great I’d look wearing it to celebrate the new year.
Then my friend showed me the dress she bought for the same night, and to my surprise, it’s the exact same one.
I had no idea she’d bought it. At first, I laughed it off, joking about how we’d be “twinning” but the more I thought about it, the more awkward I felt.
I don’t want her to feel bad or think I’m copying her, but I also can’t afford to buy another dress and I’ve missed the return date now.
I’m worried it will feel strange to wear the same one as my friend, especially as we’re going to the party together and it’s her friend hosting it, not mine.
I don’t want to put any pressure on her to buy another dress, but I also don’t want to show up looking exactly the same. Plus, I feel a bit guilty because my purchase was quite an investment for me.
What if she feels like she has to go out and buy something else? I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to spend more money on a new dress when I’ve already splurged. What should I do?
Emily Braeger, i’s money reporter, replies
While it may feel awkward, I can promise you that you won’t be alone in this situation –- two friends, with similar styles, unknowingly choosing the same outfit.
And honestly, it’s really not the end of the world. The fact that you both have great taste is something to celebrate, not something to be embarrassed about. The key here is to be upfront and to approach it in a way that relieves any potential tension.
You could start by having an honest conversation with your friend. Rather than keeping your feelings to yourself, casually mention how surprised you were when you saw that you both picked the same dress.
I’m sure she’ll find it funny too, and it could ease any potential awkwardness. Sometimes just acknowledging it can make the situation feel less uncomfortable.
It’s very likely that your friend won’t mind at all, and if she does feel a little strange about it, she’ll probably appreciate your honesty.
If you feel a bit self-conscious about wearing the same dress, why don’t you make it your own without buying a completely new one?
You can style your dress differently with unique accessories. A bold, statement necklace, an interesting pair of shoes, a colourful clutch, or a sheer shawl can transform the look and make it feel more personal.
These small changes can make the outfit feel unique to you, and it won’t cost nearly as much as buying a new dress.
Alternatively, if you’re both feeling a bit strange about it, why not have some fun with it? Make a pact to wear it confidently, and maybe even play up the fact that you both have the same taste when you’re at the party.
A shared fashion moment could be a fun bonding experience rather than something to hide from. Plus, you’ll both save money by not rushing out to buy something new at the last minute.
The most important thing is that you stick to your financial priorities, particularly after the expensive festive season.
If buying a second dress isn’t an option, don’t put yourself in a difficult position just to avoid a little wardrobe overlap.
New Year’s Eve is about enjoying yourself, not stressing over fashion. And remember, your friends will appreciate your personality and presence far more than what you’re wearing.
Whether you wear the same dress or style it differently, your confidence and happiness will be what shines through the most.
Embrace the situation, have fun with it, and focus on enjoying the party with your friend. After all, you both deserve to ring in the new year with good company, not financial worries.
