One of my favourite days of the school year was always sports day. I wasn’t great academically and A’s were never a part of my report card but winning medals was my thing. I loved the buzz of competition and still very much do.
I’m a naturally competitive person. Three years ago my husband and I played a tennis match and I beat him – I still bring it up. He is a better tennis player than I am but he’s erratic on the court so constantly hits the ball out of play which is how I get most of my points. We compete a lot together but not in a serious way and he never tries to be better around the house because quite frankly he doesn’t want to be – that’s one competition I wish I didn’t win all the time.
We went to sports day at my children’s nursery last year and they had parent races organised. I’m not quite sure when I lost my ability to sprint but I wasn’t winning any medals that day. My husband, however, brought home the bacon. I have never witnessed such a serious fathers’ day race in my life.
There were about 20 dads all lined up, game faces on. It was a close call between my husband and one other dad but my husband did a Usain Bolt and pushed his head forward at the very end. I’m delighted to have caught the whole thing on camera because it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
I, on the other hand, was slightly embarrassed and confused as to when I had gotten so bad at running. I put it down to my height – I’m very tall and there’s a lot of me to get around. If I was a small nimble thing, I think I would have had more of a chance – but regardless I tried to lose with grace. After all, competition is healthy.
This is why I have a slight issue with the idea some schools have adopted of a “participation medal”, rewarding taking part, instead of having winners and losers. For me, children need to learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you don’t; life is full of moments when you miss out on things, so why not learn that from early on? There is plenty of competition throughout life, whether it’s sports related or within the workplace – and it’s something our kids should be learning about from a young age.
It’s something I am trying to instill in my own children. When my five-year-old son, Theodore, asked me recently what would happen if he didn’t win his race on sports day, I joked that he couldn’t come home without a gold but also reassured him that it didn’t matter as long as he competed and had fun. Of course I’d love him to win, but it’s important he learns what loss feels like and how to process that emotion.
It also helps me work out where his strengths lie, whether that be on the track or in the classroom. My kids do a lot of activities. Theodore plays football on a Saturday and he loves it but he is by no means the star of the team. We keep him in because he enjoys it but recently he started athletics and he is the best in the class at that. For me it’s about finding what they love, encouraging them and supporting them through the wins and losses.
I love winning – I think everyone does – but that’s not to say I win all the time. I started my career as a model and I got turned down for more jobs than I got. When I lived in Australia I was cast on Dancing with the Stars and soon realised people of my height don’t always make the best dancers.
My dance partner was so lovely but there was absolutely no way he would ever be able to pick me up and spin me around like the other girls. We resorted to a move I can only describe as dragging a dead body away. I was extremely happy to make it to the fourth week before I got the boot because I’ve watched the clips back on YouTube and I dance like some kind of serpent. And in the career I’m currently in there’s so many people vying for the same job on TV but there’s only one winner.
That’s why I think teaching children from an early age that they won’t always win is healthy.
Vogue Williams is a TV presenter and podcaster
