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What is the point of huge weddings anymore?

One in four married people now regret how much they spent on their wedding. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

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(Photo: Kelvin Murray/Getty Images)
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My partner and I have been invited to a wedding in August 2026 in Lisbon, Portugal, with 150 guests. For the happy couple, it’s still much cheaper than a UK wedding, where the average cost is now an eye-watering £21,000, according to Bridebook.

Think of that joyful story last week about the 100th anniversary of Old Marylebone Town Hall, where 100 couples got married in one day for £100. Who are all these people spending closer to 40k to bump that average up?

I’ve set up a wedding ISA for my daughters, partly out of guilt that, unlike dads of the past, I probably can’t afford to fund the whole shebang. One is in a long-term relationship with her lovely boyfriend which once would have led inevitably to marriage. She has asked me gently about that wedding ISA. Far more useful to help pay for new flooring for their leak-damaged flat now, than save the money for a hypothetical big party.

Weddings have rebounded since the pandemic dip, with 249,000 taking place in England and Wales in 2022 versus 213,000 (2019). Just 17 per cent were religious ceremonies. The median age was 32.7 for men and 31.2 for women in opposite-sex first marriages, and for same sex: men 36.2, women 32.6.

Today, Gen Z are getting married later, partly because they are having first babies ever older (the average age now is 32, compared to 28 in the 1960s) and partly because of sheer cost. Our friends’ children can only afford Lisbon because the groom switched from being a junior doctor to investment banking.

Other friends recently scrapped their planned wedding when they realised costs were hovering at around £700 per head. Of course, you don’t need two bands, vintage champagne, a sit-down meal, photographer and videographer, but even at £80 a head upstairs in a pub, you are talking about the equivalent of almost half a first-time buyer’s deposit on a home (outside London). For guests, the average cost of attending is a staggering £883: that’s for gifts, travel, accommodation and childcare and does not include, for example, the hen or stag weekend in Vilnius.

Then there’s the ridiculous levels of stress young people bring upon their heads or have foisted upon them by parents, who want to influence proceedings if they are paying. Small wonder that 82 per cent of couples now pay for part of their weddings.

One in four marrieds now regret how much they spent on their wedding and the average length of a marriage is now eight years for heterosexual couples, six for gay men and just five for lesbian couples. My advice? Ask for forgiveness, not permission: Gretna Green elopement packages start at £639!

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