“Recognizing the value of asking for help in hiring, coaching, and managing challenges shows strength and will contribute to your company’s growth.” -Jeannette Seibly
Too often, people believe asking for help makes them look weak. It creates barriers to achieving intended results and hurts our boss/leadership skills.
When stuck in a working relationship, situation, or strategic issue, we freeze, flee, or change the goal (which diminishes the intended result)—all because we failed to ask for help!
Yet, asking for help is one of the cornerstones of achieving your intended results. With only 10 percent of teams achieving their required results, it’s crucial that you, as the boss/leader, confidently ask for help, use the art of listening, and make the necessary changes!
Why do we hesitate to ask for help?
Lack of …
• Willingness. Ego can be a significant barrier. Leaders should remember that seeking advice is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Trust. Trust yourself and selectively seek insights from a few reliable people rather than broadcasting your query widely (e.g., social media or more than 2 or 3 people).
• Self-Awareness. Lack of self-awareness can lead to an inability to recognize when help is needed.
Seven Tips to Get the Help Needed to Achieve Results
1. Set Aside Your Ego. Take a moment to breathe and seek advice from the right sources. This is critical. Talk directly with the person(s) who can provide the help! For example, a training expert was asked, “I was told I needed to do XYZ when making a presentation. But at a recent workshop, everyone walked out. What happened, and what do I need to do differently?”
2. Don’t Wait Too Long. Anticipate the need for help early to prevent compounding issues. It’s harder to ask for help once you’ve sabotaged yourself (usually unintentionally), experienced a project failure, or damaged a relationship with a co-worker or customer. Ask for help earlier not later.
3. Listen. The art of listening goes beyond the words and includes asking open-ended questions to uncover deeper insights.
4. Don’t Wait for Clarity. (It seems counter-intuitive.) Seek objective feedback, especially when things seem murky and unclear. And remember, you asked for help. This is not the time to become defensive … you asked for help … this is the time to listen. Share in concise statements: The goal of the project or issue; What has been done to date; and What is slated for the future Then, ask for help: “What do you see is missing?”
5. Be Coachable. Stay open to learning and avoid letting ego and pride interfere with accepting help. Remember, your defensiveness will sabotage your success.
An author told me in a group meeting that bragging was nonsense to her, but then complained of poor book sales. She explained, “I don’t see the value and I’m too busy to learn how to brag.” Yet, marketing and self-promotion determine 90 percent of someone’s success as an author. Even after others chimed in, she refused their help! When you refuse to listen, people will stop helping you and your results will suffer!
6. Make Asking for Help a Habit. Seeking assistance regularly can foster your professional growth and build your leadership credibility. Also, it helps you produce results faster and easier each time while building your influence.
7. Make Your Requests for Help Clear and Concise. Clearly articulate what you need and be open to accepting a “yes” or “no” response. If a person is not available or is unwilling, ask someone else.
Important Question! How do you plan to incorporate these tips into your leadership approach?
©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2025 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.