You came to Earth school knowing you’re a conduit for love. Your purpose was to love others and be loved, making loving connections. How to love those in your life should be at the forefront of your thinking.  It’s not about what they can do for you, but how you can be of service to them. This is who you authentically are.

However, you’re then put into a family unit to care for you while you grow up.  It exposes you to both healthy and unhealthy love stories. I discovered some lovely, enlivening concepts on love, concepts as these:

• Loving someone entails having faith in their capacity.
• Love entails being kind and sensitive to others.
• Supporting the people in your life and celebrating their achievements is a sign of love.

But I also perceived other love-related stories that I later realized were harmful. These notions caused issues in my relationships.

• One tale said that loving someone means I’m at their beck and call.
• Or those that said they loved me would hurt me as I was protecting others.
• Loving someone is giving them time and space to talk about whatever they want and never about what I need.
• Another common misconception about love is that when you love someone, you will do whatever they ask of you, even if it goes against your beliefs.

As you realize the unuseful stories you have concerning love, you can unlearn them and apply new loving stories to everyone in your life.

Happiness is not the result of circumstance. It results from loving others. ~ Lloyd D. Newell

The Connection Between Self-Love And Loving Others

I’ve written about worthiness, that you’re more than enough just as you are, you’re whole, not broken, and you belong.  This examination of self-love and accepting your authentic being was allowing you to be your authentic self, no matter who you’re with or what situation you may find yourself in.

In discovering who you are and what you’re passionate about, then examining your beliefs, you learned how uniquely wonderful you are. And when you share your authenticity with others, you made deep and loving connections.

And when you unearthed your authentic being, you determined in which ways you want to learn and grow. This self-creation is about taking responsibility for the choices you make instead of making excuses or blaming others.

When you’re being authentic, you commit to making your life your own. You’re focusing, fully engaging, and consciously deciding based on what is in your best interest. And you’re no longer concerned about what others think about how you move forward with your vision, you no longer compare, and you certainly aren’t conforming to what your ego thinks others want from you.

This doesn’t signify you are unkind or not compassionate to people in your life. It means you are courageously putting up personal boundaries because you’re being honest with yourself and others at all times is foundational. See, self-love is directly related to your ability to love everyone in your life because your love for self is based on a Devine love of humanity.

Not only do self-love and love of others go hand in hand but ultimately they are indistinguishable. ~ M. Scott Peck

Guidelines For Loving Everyone In Your Life

Through the life lessons I’ve learned and unlearned about love, I determined the following simplistic guidelines to help me love everyone in my life. I also benefit from long-term well-being by loving others. 

1. Be Proactive In Communication

Tell those in your life how smart, beautiful, and wonderful they are.  They probably can’t see it and may be unaware, but you can see it and make it visible to them. When doing good, be proactive rather than reactive. Don’t just wait for needs to present themselves. Instead, deliberately seek and identify ways to communicate to those around you how they make your life more fulfilling.

2. Be Authentically You

Many people struggle to be their authentic selves depending on whom they are interacting with or what role they’re playing. But being dedicated to living your truth is more beneficial than wearing a mask or conforming to what other people think you should do. Be genuine and present the real you at all times.   Ask the tough questions. Describe your true beliefs. Follow your dreams. Speak the truth. Others want to love and have a relationship with you, not your masks and armor.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others. ~ Vincent Van Gogh

3. Stay Positive

Avoid mistaking authenticity for the act of airing every grievance, grudge, or trivial outburst in the name of being yourself. To overcome worry, resentment, and tension on your own and prevent spreading those unfavorable emotions to those around you, meditate, write, or do a breathing exercise. Sure, express your unhappiness, genuine doubts, and anxieties, but be careful not to contaminate others with your negative emotions. Instead, reframe your narrative so you are authentic, yet not negatively affecting those you love.  

4. Actively Listen

Avoid listening to decide if you concur or disagree. Learn about the truth for the individual in front of you through listening. Enjoy the adventure and get to know an inner landscape that differs from your own. Keep in mind that you weren’t actively listening if nothing in any talk grabbed your interest or shocked you. Listening is the act of mindfully hearing what another person is saying to you. To listen actively means that you are giving all of yourself to the communication process, especially to those you love.  You are listening to what is being said and not thinking about a response. Although hearing is a biological function, it takes conscious effort to truly hear what someone is communicating to you. 

The mind is a weapon that must be cocked and loaded with love so it can kill with kindness.  ~ Curtis Tyrone Jones

5. Accept Others As They Are

Don’t waste your time or effort pondering how they ought to change. Everyone is a distinct individual.  All are going through similar experiences, but have different filters. They see things based on their personality and background.  Your perspective allows for unique manifestations that are called your life.  Your singular consciousness is the mysterious component that enables you to show your individuality, the talents you have, and your unique perspective.  Valuing this difference in yourself and one another is the definition of acceptance and the only way to love others. 

6. Beliefs Are Individualized

Keep in mind that you don’t need to agree with others’ decisions in order to appreciate or accept them. Prioritize the other person by respecting their differences. This entails determining what other people need and prioritizing those needs over your own. Finding out what matters to people is a necessary step in putting their interests first. To impose your personal beliefs on others is not loving.

The value of our lives is measured by our capacity to love others.  ~ Wayne Gerard Trotman

7. Set Personal Boundaries

Distinguish between accepting and becoming a doormat. Allow others to fully express who they are. Then, based on who they are, you decide what you need. Do you need to ask them directly to alter their conduct in any way? Do you need to better look after yourself? Are you in need of changing the connection or establishing personal boundaries? Take good care of yourself and don’t belittle anyone else are ways of loving.

8. Be Of Service To Others

Give freely, but never at the cost of your integrity. If you feel resentment growing, stop and reassess what’s happening. Don’t act like a martyr. It benefits no one at all. Your life affects those around you uniquely. The most impactful work you do is the simple act of service, especially to those you love. Serving others allows you to create the ripples in the water of life that help heal the world. Your service is about affecting others positively, which gives them an example to follow to help others. It’s powerful to serve others. Not just for the receiver, but also for you. 

The point of our Earthly journey is to create and express our loving spirit.  ~ Sonia Choquette

9. Recognize The Worth Of Others

Keep in mind that divine intelligence created every person you come into contact with and has a significant purpose in the universe. Treat them accordingly. Have genuine compassion for the other person. Motives matter. Real goodwill toward others, or genuinely wanting what is best for them and taking pleasure in it, is the essence of love.

10. Return To Love

The Course in Miracles says that everything you experience from another human being is love or a cry for love. So when you are dealing with others, what are they trying to communicate to you?  Are they loving, or are they acting in a way that is a cry for love? When you use this as your compass in dealing with others, you automatically feel compassion and want to lovingly respond.

And God said love your enemy, and I obeyed him and loved myself. ~ Khalil Gibran

Moving Forward Loving Others

To me, loyalty and caring mean everything. I also believe that all spiritual awakening is the awakening to love. You can add meaning to your life by devoting yourself to loving other people, serving the people in your community, and working to create something that fulfills you. Why? Because you can live completely and die well because of the love you give and the love you receive from others.

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like. ~ Saint Augustine

Do you need help to love and accept yourself? Are you looking for support to empower yourself to love those people in your life? Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life? Consider using my coaching services by contacting me at TerriKozlowski.com if you feel you cannot move forward alone. Together, we can create an action plan for you to love yourself and those around you.

To discover how I learned to love everyone in my life, you can do so by reading Raven Transcending Fear, a book I wrote, which is available on Amazon, or by visiting RavenTranscendingFear.com for further details.

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How To Feel Love For Everyone In Your Life

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Being authentic means that you should love one another. Here are ten simple ways you can begin to love all the people in your life.

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Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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