With appearances from That ’90s Show and Home Economics, our latest Quotes of the Week compilation is a big one for Topher Grace.
In the list below, we’ve gathered more than 15 of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted moments from broadcast and streaming series.
This time around, in addition to Netflix’s That ’70s Show sequel and Home Economics‘ hopefully-not-a-series-finale, we’ve got zingers and bon mots from Fantasy Island, Days of Our Lives, NCIS and The Resident‘s seriously-please-don’t-be-a-series-finale.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Lopez vs Lopez and The Conners, plus quotable moments from Leverage: Redemption, Abbott Elementary, The Neighborhood and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
“Oh, you’re getting in that car, or my foot is getting in your ass!”
“I have never been prouder. It’s like watching you hit your first home run… if you had ever done that.”
Seeing Eric (Topher Grace) reprimand Leia warms Red’s (Kurtwood Smith) heart
“I just don’t know what to do with my evenings anymore with these summer reruns. I would murder someone for a fresh Party of Five.”
“If I have to sit through another Grace Under Fire rerun, I’m gonna root for the fire.”
The pre-#PeakTV struggle is real for Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp) and Ozzie (Reyn Doi)
“Is this what nights were like when you were kids?”
“How old do you think we are?!”
Amid an earthquake-triggered blackout, Denise (Sasheer Zamata) claps back at Gretchen’s (Shiloh Bearman) suggestion that the adult members of the makeshift tribe (all of whom are in their 30s) grew up before electricity was invented
“My sessions with Marlena have done wonders for my PTSD. I can finally go back to McDonald’s without freaking out!”
We’re glad Bonnie (Judi Evans) has gotten over her fear of clowns, but who knew that Salem had a McDonald’s?
“Oh my heavens, they are so beautiful.”
“Of course they are! They look just like me.”
Oh, Raptor (Malcolm-Jamal Warner). Never change.
“Boy, you couldn’t sell a scarf to Lenny Kravitz with that pitch. Who told you to sell like that?”
“Mrs. Howard.”
“Of course. She’s still using the tactics of a man who could turn water into wine and still only had 12 friends.”
Principal Ava (Janelle James) has serious doubts about Barbara’s holier-than-thou candy-selling strategy
“No offense, but I haven’t spoken about you to anyone for, what, the last 20 years?”
“Offense taken.”
Parker gets singed by an old flame (Rachel Ticotin)
“That smells like hot nothing.”
“Bland is my dad’s favorite flavor.”
“Then he must really love you.”
George (George Lopez) gets a whiff of Quentin’s (Matt Shively) casserole
“I can never do nothing in this house!”
George Lopez borrows one of his former sitcom persona’s signature catchphrases
“Your vasectomy appointment’s on the 7th.”
Angela (Alyssa Diaz) follows up her pregnancy announcement with some news for husband Wes
“I am not a Karen! You know what, I need to see your manager. I don’t… I don’t feel safe right now.”
Calvin (Cedric the Entertainer) becomes the thing he swears he’s not before his flight to Madrid gets off the ground
“What about Ramsey?”
“There’s not much to tell. He discovered my talents early on, he molded me and that made him think he owned me. I burned down every bridge I had getting away from him, leaving behind a marriage… and a stepdaughter.”
“See, you say ‘There’s not much to tell,’ but that was kind of a lot!”
Sophie (Gina Bellman) gives Breanna (Aleyse Shannon) et al. an earful!
“You’ve been doing stuff without thinking for years, like when you took Darlene to see The Exorcist when she was 10. That’s why she is the way she is!”
“I didn’t know what the movie was about! And by the time I did, that devil thing had obviously flown off the screen and embedded itself in her soul.”
Dan (John Goodman) blames Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) for his daughter’s off-putting personality
“Most of the [home] movies were of us eating at the table.”
Dan (John Goodman) implies that Roseanne’s main title sequences derived from the family’s personal archives
“When my son was 15, he opened the car door for me, and that’s when I knew he had become a man.”
“My son was opening doors as soon as he could walk.”
“Mine, too. I’m sorry your son was so disrespectful.”
Kemi (Gina Yashere) and Abishola (Folake Olowofoyeku) refuse to let Gloria (Vernee Watson) have a proud-parent moment
“I didn’t…. How did you…? I never…. [Sighs] Wow.”
“Yeah. I know. Nobody ever tells you how good nerds are in bed. Congratulations to us.”
Tyler (Ryan-James Hatanaka) and Penelope (Kirsten Vangsness) are full of surprises in Episode 7’s mid-credits scene
“Wednesday Addams goes to the pool?”
Considering how long ago this episode was written and filmed, Ruby’s (Kiara Barnes) dig at Helene’s all-black beachwear is purely a coincidental reference to Netflix’s current hit
“If I really am some important terrorist, they wouldn’t send two… [Sneers]… whatever the two of you are.”
“Sorry, but this is as white as this room’s going to get for you.”
Hondo (Shemar Moore) and Agent Vasquez have no interest in adjusting a white supremacist’s color settings
“You look like Fire Camp Fabio.”
Freddy (W. Tré Davis) takes in news coverage of Bode rescuing Gabriela. (Also, he’s right.)
So Jackie didn’t know what The Exorcist was about in the mid ’80s?
🙄Duh, that’s part of the joke… besides the fact that the title makes the subject obvious.
So we’re supposed to believe Jackie is out of touch enough to have never heard what The Exorcist about 12 years after it release?
garcia and tyler, that scene. just perfectly set up with the old lady neighbor knocking on her door to see if something was wrong. and line delivery was SPOT on.
also, w tre davis is the unsung hero of fire country, his character could be a caricature but he’s not.
I though Tom from Home Economica was in his early 40s
Janelle James has the best quotes from Abbott Elementary. She’s amazing and deserves an Emmy, actually all the TV comedy supporting awards IMO.
Donno’s quote about the feeling he got the first time he had a maple glazed donut at Tim Horton’s was hilarious to us on the Canadian Border in BIG SKY
So true! Donno deserved a spot on the list!