RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10 Premiere Recap: Which Queen Was Done Dirrty?

Thursday’s tenth season premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race delivered arguably the gayest moment of television since Ellen DeGeneres came out to Laura Dern at the airport.

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The gag, nay, scream-worthy incident arrived in the latter half of the 90-minute premiere, as RuPaul announced that one more former queen would be joining the competition. Gasps (and eye rolls) abounded as Ru welcomed back to the stage… Farrah Moan! But the queens’ frustration soon turned to frenzy as “Farrah” was revealed to be none other than the genie in a bottle herself, Miz Christina Aguilera.

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any further over the top, Xtina whipped out a microphone — from thin air it would seem! — and belted the opening riff to “Ain’t No Other Man.” Little did the queens realize that this siren’s song was actually a prophecy, as Kalorie Karbdashian Williams and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo soon found themselves lip-sync battling to that very jam.

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But I’m getting ahead of myself… Once all 14 new queens (plus Eureka!) arrived at the workroom, Ru emerged to explain their mini challenge: a runway walk-off with former queens watching (aka judging) from the sidelines. I’ll elaborate on each queens’ performance below, but for now, let’s all just congratulate Monet X Change on her well-deserved win.

The premiere’s main challenge was a throwback to the first-ever challenge from Season 1. “Drag on a Dime” required the queens to create “Million-dollar looks using a bunch of junk from the 99 cent store.” Not only did this give the queens’ the perfect opportunity to show off their skills and styles, but it also reunited us with our beloved Pit Crew.

OK, back to the final two: It was a fierce face-off — Kalorie made it rain, Vanessa lost a shoe, it was madness — but the first queen to sashay away from RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10 was… Vanessa.

With that out of the way, let’s break down Thursday’s premiere queen-by-queen:

ASIA O’HARA | We didn’t get to spend too much time with the self-proclaimed “superstar of Dallas, Texas,” but from the little we saw, I can’t say I’m blown away. Her dollar-store ensemble was cute, but she also looked like a Party City threw up all over her. Still, it’s too early to count anyone out yet — except for Vanessa, of course.

AQUARIA | I adored the concept of Aquaria’s “Little Ho Beep” look (if a little more than the execution), but needs to end this petty feud with Miz Cracker immediately. And if she doesn’t, I guess I should probably choose a side.

BLAIR ST. CLAIR | Maybe I was being too hard on her, but I found very little to root for upon meeting this “Broadway diva extraordinaire” … until the main challenge, when she shut me up with her high-fashion look.

DUSTY RAY BOTTOMS | This quirky gal claimed to be serving “Space Odyssey clown realness” on the runway, but all I saw was a sexy Tin Man costume from Party City… minus the sexy part. Still, she’s fun and I like her. (And I didn’t hate the dotted face nearly as much as Michelle Visage did.)

EUREKA | Lest there be any doubt that Eureka feels #blessed to be back on Drag Race, the Season 9 contestant — who was sidelined due to a cheerleading-related injury — got down on her damn hands and knees and kissed the workroom floor. She may have thought that Harlem was a state, but at least she knew what she was doing on the runway. She looked like a Candy Land board brought to life.

KALORIE KARBDASHIAN WILLIAMS | I knew this “twerk queen” was in trouble the minute she compared herself to Kris Jenner. (Like, of all the women in that family… you pick Kris?) I also thought her runway look — an oh-so-literal interpretation of the “million-dollar look” with an actual dress made of paper bills — was pretty snoozy.

KAMERON MICHAELS | It’s too bad this Nashville muscle queen doesn’t drop jaws on the runway like he does in the workroom. He had his fellow contestants’ tongues wagging when he walked around shirtless, being dubbed “the trade of Season 10.”

MAYHEM MILLER | This well-bred queen — whose drag family includes the likes of Morgan McMichaels, Delta Work and Detox — did her relatives proud, hitting the runway with an impeccably tailored vest-skirt-boot situation that made garbage bags look like sexy, expensive leather. I didn’t necessarily expect her to win this week’s main challenge, but I wasn’t surprised when she did.

MIZ CRACKER | Bob the Drag Queen’s daughter had my attention when she introduced herself as “Barbie on bath salts,” and my affection only grew from there. Not only did she prove incredibly resourceful in the workroom, “begging and bartering” with the other queens to get the materials she needed, but I loved the “sad widow” look she eventually turned out.

MONET X CHANGE | Like most of the contestants this season — and, you know, the nine that came before it — Monet is “not here to play.” What separates her from her competitors, however, is that she has the skills to back up all that talk, as proven when she won the mini challenge with the only perfect score. She’s also quite possibly the shadiest queen of the season, never hesitating to offer her unsolicited opinion about her fellow queens.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO | I’m not going to lie, I was really bummed to see Alexis Mateo’s drag daughter in the bottom two this week — mostly because Vanessa, who describes her style as a “hooker on Rodeo Drive,” is an endless source of entertainment. (I’m also not entirely convinced that she isn’t Aja in disguise, so I’d like a little more to figure that out.)

THE VIXEN | First things first: The Vixen is very excited to be from Chicago, and don’t you forget it. (Not that she’d let you, of course.) She talked a big game, promising “earth, wind and fire” once she hit the runway, but her look left a lot to be desired. Sure, she looked hot, but she also just looked like she wrapped some pool noodles around her underwear.

YUHUA HAMASAKI | I think — or at least I’d like to believe — that this “glamorous” queen has more to offer than the basic caution-tape dress she put together for this week’s runway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of her for having all of her teeth, but I’m just not satisfied yet.

Which queen are you rooting for after Thursday’s premiere? Cast your vote below, then drop a comment with your thoughts on Season 10 so far.