Jon Stewart Mocks Biden and Trump After First Debate: ‘Both of These Men Should Be Using Performance-Enhancing Drugs’ (Watch)
With Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers all on vacation, all eyes were on Jon Stewart for his reaction to Thursday’s presidential debate.
The Daily Show went live 30 minutes after President Joe Biden and former president Donald Trump left the CNN stage following a 90-minute, audience-free melee moderated by Jake Tapper and Dana Bash.
“We just watched… what you watched,” Stewart sheepishly began. From there, the host honed in on each candidate’s respective performance. Even with extremely low expectations set forth by cable news pundits — Trump had to show that he could “portray normal-ness,” while Biden had to make it through the night without having a “senior moment” — Stewart argued that the presumptive nominees for the nation’s highest office underdelivered. Biden just had to avoid “causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin,” whereas Trump “just had to come in there and not be an a–hole,” and he did “not appear to have passed the a–hole test.”
“The one thing that we did prove tonight is that the MAGA conspiracy theory about Biden’s upcoming debate performance was nonsense,” Stewart opined. “Let me just say, after watching tonight’s debate, that both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs — as much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems — and in one of the candidates’ cases, improve their truthfulness, morality and malignant narcissism — then suppository away.
“Guess what? Everybody they should be taking whatever magical drugs can kick their brains into gear,” he continued. “This ain’t Olympic swimming, you know what I’m saying? …. And by the way, if those drugs don’t exist — if there aren’t actually performance-enhancing drugs for these candidates — then I could sure use some recreational ones right now, because this cannot be real life. It just can’t. F–k! We’re America!”
The first presidential debate of the 2024 election cycle came four weeks after Trump, now a convicted felon, was found guilty on all 34 counts in a hush money trial tied to payments made to adult film actress Stormy Daniels. He will be sentenced on Thursday, July 11, at 10 am ET, four days before the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, Wis.
The felony conviction of a onetime POTUS (and presumptive GOP nominee) is unprecedented. Be that as it may, Trump currently holds a narrow lead over Biden in national polling data — 41.1% versus Biden’s 40.9%. (For comparison’s sake: Biden led Trump by seven percentage points — 50.2% versus Trump’s 43.2% — on the eve of the first presidential debate of the 2020 election cycle.)
Thursday’s debate was the first of two scheduled debates before the Nov. 5 presidential election. Biden and Trump have agreed to meet again on Tuesday, Sept. 10, in an event that will air on ABC. David Muir and Linsey Davis of ABC News will moderate.
Yeah, they were both exactly what we know them to be. No surprises. People will vote whatever they want to vote, the debates don’t change anything.
Even though Biden said some very important comments on what he did during his term in office, his sore, raspy throat and too quick and somewhat stumbling speaking was distracting. As for Trump, instead of answering some of the questions posed to him (which were repeated several times when he didn’t answer them), he would just respond to something Biden said earlier and repeat himself about all the dangerous immigrants that are coming into our country.
He was definitely off but more than half of his verbal stumbling is clearly his lifelong stuttering ability. I’d say another quarter is being flabbergasted by the insanity he was hearing. How do you debate someone where 9 out of 10 words is a lie and the tenth is “the”? He flat out said so more than once with comments about malarkey and foolishness.
But yeah, he was still off even with those factors considered. I don’t know what to think about that report that he has a cold. If they’d said it before, it would have been interpreted as a pre excuse. No good time to reveal that.
At the end of the day, I’ll go with what Mark Hamill tweeted. (Paraphrased) Biden had an off night but he’s still the most successful legislative President we’ve ever had.
Stewart’s opinion is null and void!
All the talk about PEDs and no one thought to give Joe some B12 or echinacia
Biden looked old, weak and feeble.
Thanks for posting this! Since Paramount shut down Comedy Central’s website, I wasn’t sure where to watch this.
YouTube has most of each episode up on their channel each night.
It’s interesting to notice as a non-American that the people you can vote for are either as weak or as dangerous as in my European home. It’s alarming though, too.
Same here. We’re one week out from the UK General Election and have the choice between Sunak (who’s basically Tory Boy from old Harry Enfield sketches) or Starmer (who makes dishwater look interesting and charismatic). There are several smaller parties but none expected to get a big (national, some like the SNP might dominate in their countries but don’t field candidates UK wide) vote share.
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France too seems to be having a bit of the same issues as the UK with a rise in populism and anti-immigration rhetoric.
Very alarming.
I lived in the East of Germany during the reign of the communists and even back then, the old rulers could not let go of power. I deeply regret that Obama was not allowed for another term. He was good for the USA and good for the world.
It’s time to Vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!!!
Who do we vote for? I asked myself this question last night. For me not “conspiracy Kennedy” or Trump. After that performance, do not want Biden. I’m an Independent and hope the Democrats come up with someone viable at the convention.
All I can say, after watching the entire debate, is that if this is the best we have to offer for the highest office in the land, we are in deep doo-doo.
FTR, an important thing about NATO that you may not know and I don’t think Biden said directly (the captions had trouble keeping up): Only once has Article 5 been invoked.
It was us. We called for help on 9/11 and NATO was right there for us. No hesitation.
Trump’s gasbag nonsense about NATO countries not carrying their part is seriously unreal.
As Biden did say, in so many words, you’ve got your head in the sand if you think Putin plans to stop at seizing Ukraine. If they fall, the other countries from the former empire will be next. Some are NATO. If it gets that far, we’ll all be sending soldiers to die to push Russia back where they belong.
I don’t think he said this part: to date, it’s only Ukrainian soldiers and volunteers from many countries. We have trained them but not gotten on the battlefield with them. Instead of our soldiers dying in a (currently) foreign war, we are sending financial support which is partially dollars but majority consists of equipment and ammo. Bought from US suppliers (economy boost). Better we help them this way BEFORE it gets to be a world war and Americans start dying en masse as well. I think it’s admirable that Ukraine has only asked for equipment and ammo.
Ukraine will lose the war soon. They keep asking for more 100 billions USA taxpayer money that should help poor and homeless here..
Ukraine losing territory. World world 3 begins soon because of Biden started the war with Putin by provoking him by taking sides. Too many more wars around the world that is bad. Inflation is bad is hurting poor and seniors.
One was on Coke or ritalin. Spewing out lies with no fact checking, not answering questions just throwing out lie after lie. One minute response to 15 lies I dare say a 50 yr old would have trouble deciding which lie to respond to….horrible decision on the format of this ….and btw it was not a debate. It was Magat fantasy
Stewart is just like Seinfeld, Chappelle, Maher, Gervaise, etc.. Comedians who haven’t been able to adapt to the changes since they were young and are now just old men yelling at clouds. It’s kind of amazing to realize that Joe Biden has moved into the modern world better than Jon Stewart.
Absolute disaster for the Dems. Strongly suggest new candidate.