GET BAKED®

If I may I’d like to introduce you all to the newest member of our leadership team, James. He’ll be heading up the stores side of the business, opening new ones and running them (hopefully not into the ground xox). Currently he only has one store, which I think he’s a bit self conscious about, and who can blame him — I’d be a mess if I only had one store. Just a single-stored knob head with no hope nor clue. Poor bastard really — kinda feel sorry for him. What a bloody mess he’s got himself into. Left a fairly comfortable career for this shit too. Fucking nightmare. He’s a fruity bastard is James — a real character. He makes me laugh a lot, he’s like really funny without trying to be. He’s also really into Dungeons and Dragons which goes above my head in every way imaginable. James describes himself as a nerd, but a cool nerd, because as he puts it he “doesn’t have a B.O problem.” Welcome to GB James, I’m sure you’ll do just fine, maybe. GB

I just loved launch day at Fortnum & Mason — join me as we navigate our senses through a tirade of expensive jams, exquisite biscuits and a bakery from Leeds which has blagged its way to the top god knows how but we are where we are so let’s just enjoy it and stop going on about it. Bertha sells out at Fortnum’s every single day — so get there in good time if you wanna get involved in all that malarkey. You can just walk in, go up to a well-dressed member of the team and say “hello, I’d like a slice of Bertha please” and maybe just maybe if you’ve come at a suitable hour, she’ll be in stock. Toodle-pip. GB

Shouts to the fella from Wandsworth. GB

Bertha is coming. Launching exclusively at Fortnum & Mason on Thursday 22/23/24 August. Until then: Life is for living xox

The time has come for me to formally introduce you to Bruce’s wife, Bertha. In case you missed the announcement earlier in the week, Bruce will be going into a very well earned retirement from August 21st — after such time, he’ll no longer be available for purchase. So, back to Bertha… Visually, she’s almost identical to Bruce — and her chocolate cake recipe is exactly the same. Her ganache however is a different story. Bertha’s ganache recipe is a very specific combination of both milk and dark chocolate, so she has the depth and maturity of Bruce, but she’s sweeter, and more palatable for the gen pop. Whilst she’s still unbelievably rich, her milky sweetness also means that she’s ever-so-slightly easier to eat — although make no mistake, she is a behemoth. Bruce is adored by all at GET BAKED, and always will be, but during taste testing there wasn’t a single person who didn’t prefer Bertha. Like almost all women, she is simply better than her husband. Bruce will be available for purchase as normal until he retires — Bertha will be available a day later (on August 22nd). Bertha will be exclusively available from @fortnums for the first 3 days (a ticketed event) and after that will be on general sale from our Headingley store, on our website, and from Fortnum & Mason. I’ll be explaining the launch event with Fortnum’s on another post — the tickets go live on Monday at 11am, so keep your eyes peeled for the next update. Remember, life is for living xox I love you Bruce. GB

Bet nobody was expecting this one xox

Well it’s a day that I thought I’d never see come. Bruce will be going into a very, very well deserved retirement, and as of August the 21st, he will no longer be available for purchase. It’s hard to put into words the impact that he has had on my life, not to mention the lives of thousands of other people across the country, dare I say World. So, with that, I am unbelievably excited to introduce you to Bruce’s wife, Bertha. A fun-filled behemoth — Bertha is big, she’s juicy, and let me tell you something she’s bloody tasty ‘n all. I know what you’re thinking — you wanna know what she’s gonna taste like. Does she taste exactly the same as her World famous husband? Well, nearly — but not quite. There’s some very important differences, but more on that soon. For now, I’m hoping you welcome her with open arms, and join me in wishing Bruce a very happy retirement. Bertha will be joining us on August the 22nd — the day after Bruce’s retirement commences. It’s actually not normal how emotional I feel right now. Honestly, I fucking love you Bruce. Life is for living xox GB

The secret's out. Russell and Atwell

When they lean in close and whisper those three magic words in your ear… Goosebumps.

👀