Parenting Out Loud

2am and we hear water dropping in to the spare room through the ceiling. A leak from the roof. You can't be serious. I was in a lovely deep sleep. Why does adulting mean just one problem after another? In the morning, I go in the local whatsapp group (they are handy sometimes) and ask for a reliable roofer. Someone recommends Dave. On the way back from the school run, I call Dave. Turns out he's available on Friday morning. “I'll drop my daughter off to nursery and then head straight over to you for about 9.30am. Her nursery is only down the road from you so it will work out quite well.” Dave the roofer says. I smile to myself. Thinking about how different this conversation would have been just a few years ago. “Sure, sounds great. See you on Friday Dave.” #ParentingOutLoud #EqualParenting #WorkingDads #GenderEquality

Why we need International Men’s Day. This is not about oppression olympics. It’s not about who has it better or worse. It’s about recognising that, yes, men have male privilege, but they also have many challenges and inequalities: 👉🏾 1 in 5 men have no close friends 👉🏾 Prostate Cancer is the most diagnosed cancer in the UK and it’s often diagnosed very late 👉🏾 1 in 5 men will die prematurely, before the age of 65 👉🏾 Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50, 75% of suicides are men 👉🏾 As statutory paternity leave is so poorly paid, around 20% of dads take any parental leave at all And the list goes on. We need to engage men around these issues at work. Why? Well because we want to improve life outcomes for men. But also, by widening the conversation around gender equality, we get more men in the room showing up to break down the patriarchy, practise a positive form of masculinity and, in turn, becoming allies to women. The issues above are not just male issues, they affect everybody. So addressing the core causes behind the issues is not a zero-sum game. It’s a win-win. Over the past few years, we have moved on as a society to the point where we are able to discuss men’s issues more openly. Let’s keep doing the work to engage men in inclusion and think about how we can improve outcomes for men so we all live healthier, happier and more fulfilling lives. #InternationalMensDay #MensHealth #PaternityLeave #ParentingOutLoud

Week* in the life of a Finance Manager 👀 Monday: Full day in the office (filled with meetings..) Tuesday: Day 1 of 2 of Human Alchemy’s Extraordinary Leadership and High Performance workshop, plus a little urgent admin in the evening 🫣 Wednesday: Day 2 of 2 of Human Alchemy’s Extraordinary Leadership and High Performance workshop Thursday: Balancing childcare and working Friday: Balancing childcare and working (*half term week, working full time, balancing childcare with my wife, whilst attending a 2 day leadership course) This week has been pretty full on, and we’re only on Thursday. But it’s been a week full of learning 📚 and thinking 🤔 Honestly just being given the space and time to step away from business as usual and lean into how to be an extraordinary leader in a high performing team has been really insightful 💭 My biggest learning of the workshop was definitely “you are still a leader in a department of 1” 🙌🏻 I had an automatic reply set for the days I was out of office for the leadership workshop but after seeing Tom Stenner-Evans post earlier this week on his automatic reply, today/tomorrow’s is definitely my favourite 😅 (I just had to pinch the concept, it’s brilliant 👀) Parenting Out Loud should be normalised in the workplace, and being upfront and honest about dad life and working full time, but balancing childcare should be general topics of conversations and just happen. So if you can’t get hold of me, I’m probably busy just being a dad 🤍 How Do You Do It , All In The Juggle, Diary of a Dad-EO, Working Families #FinanceManager #Parenting #Leadership #Training #CPD #WorkingDad #DadLife

A dad asked to work compressed hours to spend more time with his new born baby. The request was approved but he was ridiculed and bullied for it by his work colleagues. His work colleagues clearly didn't think a dad should change their working pattern for childcare responsibilities. He ended up leaving, raised a complaint and was awarded 20k in compensation. This is exactly why the Parenting Out Loud campaign exists. Policy is one thing. The availability of flexible working is another thing. But without the culture where dads can Parent Out Loud, it means very little. We need to create workplace cultures where dads are supported to be loud and proud about their caring responsibilities at work. We need to normalise male caring at work. It helps dads to be equal parents at home. And that is everything. It means everything. It’s critical for the dad’s wellbeing, for his partners ambitions at work and for his baby to have secure attachment to both parents. Culture change can be done. It means a willingness to confront these issues head on, building inclusive leaders, introducing new ideas and cultivating safe spaces for conversation. If we don't do this culture change work, we'll see many more dads going through experiences like this one and many more families struggling to balance families and work responsibilities. Read the full article in Personnel Today here: https://lnkd.in/e7BN4f5a Thanks for highlighting this article Oliver Daniels 👊🏽 #ParentingOutLoud #EqualParenting #WorkingDads #GenderEquality

And breathe, back to a bit of normality this week 😅 Last week was a busy one with it being half term, working full time, attending a 2-day workshop and balancing childcare 🫣 It was lovely to have a family filled weekend picking pumpkins, cafe lunches, and getting out in nature. 🎃🚲🌳 Life's so chaotic and busy, especially as a full time working parent with childcare responsibilities so it's important to remember to take some time for you. 💙 Parenting Out Loud, How Do You Do It , Diary of a Dad-EO, Working Families, All In The Juggle #FinanceManager #Parenting #Nature #DadLife #Family #DailyJuggle #Training #ChildcareResponsibilities

"I'm an adult, trust me to do my job" Does flexible working and hybrid working actually work? There is an archaic, old school mentality that is sceptical of flexible and hybrid working, executives who believe 'remote workers slack off'. I'm sure some do, but guess what - I met plenty of slackers in my time in the old world of full time office working. Also, if you can't differentiate between conscientious employees and chancers based on their output, then perhaps there's something wrong with how you set expectations, OKRs and/or measure success. There are some who might accuse me of 'slacking off' today. This selfie I took at 3pm in a local Bill's would probably add some weight to that argument, but here's the context of how I ended up in Bill's, and why it makes me a great employee, colleague, and parent. Tuesdays are an office day for me. I have childcare arrangements (my wife doesn't work Tuesdays), I have commitments to my team mates and colleagues to collaborate in person, and I often arrange social engagements while I'm up in London. This morning I woke up feeling groggy, as a parent of 2 young children - my immune system is constantly under attack. In the old world, I would have endured the commute, sweating through my shirt and jumper, turned up at the office and kept my head down until home time - because presenteeism was more important than wellbeing 5 years ago. Instead, I knew that if I conserved my energy and worked from home, my body would recover quicker and I'd be more effective as an employee and a parent. So today I informed my team I'd be WFH. By lunchtime it became clear that my wife was more unwell than me (not that it's a competition). She needed a break and I wanted to ensure she got one while the baby slept. I could have taken my laptop to the sofa and plonked my 3 y.o in front of the TV to minimise the impact on my working day. But why? I can't do my job effectively while supervising a 3 year old, and I can't supervise a 3 year old effectively while trying to work. So I took 3 hours out of my working day to be fully present with my son - we went for an adventure through the woods and secret paths into town, and had a 'yes day' at the café. We both enjoyed it and the oxytocin boost from the bonus quality time with my son will expedite my recovery from the lingering illness, meaning I will be more energised tomorrow. I'm an adult, trust me to do my job. I lost some time today but that's ok. I'll probably have to log on later and complete some tasks, but that's ok. Being a working parent is tough, don't make it harder than it needs to be, don't try to do it all at once. If your kid needs you, and your employer/manager trusts you - take the time to be with your kid, the rewards are far greater. Parenting Out Loud Microsoft Microsoft Advertising #ParentingOutLoud #workingparent #dadsatmicrosoft #hybridworking #flexibleworking #worklifebalance #trust #microsoft #microsoftfamilies

Black dads do hair. Ok so this is EPIC! I remember my daughter being young and it was my day for nursery drop-off. My haircare skills were limited to say the least. I had no experience at all around how to get her hair looking good for the day. I needed help! Having the skills to be able to do our child's hair is amazing. It's a bonding experience and a life skills for dads. To celebrate Black History Month and International Men’s Day, we’ll be hosting a Dads Do Hair workshop for Black dads. We’ll be exploring the black dad's experience, delving in to stereotypes, gender roles, identity, balance and the joys of black fatherhood. We'll discuss what it means to be a black dad in today's world and share our stories of parenting. All while learning how to care for our children’s hair. This event will be hosted by Parenting Out Loud and MusicFootballFatherhood, in collaboration with Estée Lauder, Aveda and Dorcas Efayena's AfroPHbabe. Taking place on Tuesday 26th November from 1530 in London. Spaces are limited, register here: https://lnkd.in/e8mEq8Yz #DadsDoHair #BlackHistoryMonth #InternationalMensDay

Fatherhood has been a blessing and nothing else compares! From as early as when I was 18 years old, I had always looked forward to being a Father This led me to being intentional about becoming a better man, that is deserving of fatherhood. This led to launching a podcast later on called - Journey To Fatherhood On which I interviewed aspiring fathers and existing fathers Exploring and discussing areas from masculinity, forgiveness, responsibility, and commitment But despite all that, nothing ever prepares you quite enough for fatherhood than being a father itself. Now… ✅ Over 1 year into marriage ✅ And 4 months as a Girl Dad I have learnt these 3 key lessons: 1️⃣ It is a continuous journey with no perfection, so be patient and kind to self 2️⃣ You can’t do it alone (grateful to God, my lovely wife, family and friends 🙏) 3️⃣ Enjoy each moment and every stage of it all. (It’s only been 4 months for me, but so much has transpired) From frequent naps, to being active during the day and even at night; From less frequent feeding to a heightened apetite; From little to no taking, to teething pains and cooing. All of which has been incredible to witness and be present for. Well that’s it now, heading back to do some more tummy time - Crawling season is coming soon (watch this space 😎 👶 ) What are your lessons for fathers? (Share in the comments section ⬇️) #fathers #fatherhood #parenting #linkedin

A dad asked to work compressed hours to spend more time with his new born baby. The request was approved but he was ridiculed and bullied for it by his work colleagues. His work colleagues clearly didn't think a dad should change their working pattern for childcare responsibilities. He ended up leaving, raised a complaint and was awarded 20k in compensation. This is exactly why the Parenting Out Loud campaign exists. Policy is one thing. The availability of flexible working is another thing. But without the culture where dads can Parent Out Loud, it means very little. We need to create workplace cultures where dads are supported to be loud and proud about their caring responsibilities at work. We need to normalise male caring at work. It helps dads to be equal parents at home. And that is everything. It means everything. It’s critical for the dad’s wellbeing, for his partners ambitions at work and for his baby to have secure attachment to both parents. Culture change can be done. It means a willingness to confront these issues head on, building inclusive leaders, introducing new ideas and cultivating safe spaces for conversation. If we don't do this culture change work, we'll see many more dads going through experiences like this one and many more families struggling to balance families and work responsibilities. Read the full article in Personnel Today here: https://lnkd.in/e7BN4f5a Thanks for highlighting this article Oliver Daniels 👊🏽 #ParentingOutLoud #EqualParenting #WorkingDads #GenderEquality

I'm now on shared parental leave (SPL) until late January. This is the second time I've done this having taken four months of SPL in 2022 to look after our eldest. While it has been a game changer for my family, SPL take-up remains low. Depending what research you read, only 4-8% of eligible couples use SPL. There are many reasons why SPL is under-used and a long-term solution could be Equal Parental Leave. A post from Elliott Rae (link in comments) explains both those points well. I feel lucky Mourant has progressive policies in this area that make SPL possible for me. From my experience last time, there are so many benefits: 💡 It changes your perspective on what matters and what doesn't. 📈 It builds your confidence in your parenting skills. This helps during and after SPL. 👩💼 It allows my wife Sarah Wisbey the space and support needed for the challenge of going back full time to IQ-EQ. 👦 It sets a good equal parenting example for our boys. This will hopefully have some lasting positive impact for them. 👨👩👦👦 There is a natural boost to the quality of all family relationships. 💪 You come back to work ready and raring to go. I'm also splitting this SPL in two blocks. That works better for my role but also for me (not using all SPL during the Scottish winter 🥶). Block two next summer will be shorter and very different … more on that another day. Overall, I would recommend SPL to anyone. If you are considering SPL, please get in touch and I'd be happy to share my experience and offer tips. Finally, a big shout out to Rebecca Alberici for keeping the plates spinning while I'm away. It is less stressful taking extended leave when you work closely with great people. #SharedParentalLeave #EqualParenting #EqualParentalLeave #WorkingParents #ParentingOutLoud