Purpose Mentoring

If you are unhappy in your current job, does your manager know? Would it be so bad to talk about it with them? So often, it gets to the point where someone hands in their notice before a meaningful, real conversation takes place about what has gone wrong. And, in a LOT of cases, if things had been talked about sooner, the outcome could have been different. People are very rarely ‘100% sure’ they are doing the right thing when they resign. There is almost always going to be some uncertainty. Is the grass REALLY greener elsewhere? There are many different reasons why someone moves to a new job, of course. Some are PROACTIVE (higher salary, more responsibility etc) while others are REACTIVE (not feeling valued, lack of ‘progression’ etc). If you are feeling that you should move jobs right now, ask yourself: Are your reasons for leaving more reactive than proactive? If so, it may be a good idea to address your current problems and see if it can make a difference. It may be uncomfortable, but there is nothing worse than looking back in the future with regret for not trying something. I work with many people who are in situations like this. Please get in touch for a confidential chat about what you are going through, and to discuss how talking privately with someone who is completely separate from the situation could really help you right now. #purpose #mentoring #newjob

Hello everyone. I'd like to re-introduce myself to all my new and existing connections on LinkedIn. My name is Steve and here's a little about me. 👋 I am a qualified Counsellor with full BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) registration. 👋 I provide online counselling and mentoring, helping people who are trying to balance a pressurised job alongside personal challenges at home. 👋 My clients are in a variety of places including UK, Europe, Middle East and USA, and include business owners, team leaders and sales consultants, in industries such as recruitment, B2B sales, banking and law. 👊 Before moving full-time into counselling, I worked in Recruitment for over 17 years, progressing to Managing Director of a life science recruitment agency. I have a good understanding of the challenges you may face in your day-to-day work. You won’t need to explain lots about your job, so we can move quickly into talking about the things that really matter. 👋 I am passionate about helping people navigate the challenges that are unique to you, providing a safe, private space that is separate from colleagues, family and friends. This enables you to make clearer, more purposeful decisions and to feel more fulfilled and in control. 👋 I strongly believe that our past experiences influence how we think, feel and act as adults. By understanding our past, and making peace with it, we can take more control of our actions now. 👊 I have been going to my own therapy, on and off, for 15 years, and have regular supervision to keep developing my counselling skills. 👊 My background includes a first-class degree in Experimental Psychology from Oxford University, experience as a volunteer Samaritan, and tutoring groups of people aged 50+ who are unemployed and trying to return to the workplace. 👊 I am passionate about the value of using therapy in a positive, proactive way. I long for a world where everyone has some form of regular counselling, because it would have such a positive impact on communication, team performance and resilience at work. 👌 Talk to me about the programmes I offer to businesses, including leadership support, improving team communication, and supporting individual employees going through difficult periods of time at work or at home. 🤘 Finally, one completely random fact about me: I LOVE music. Singing, songwriting, recording, going to gigs. I may not look it, but I am a total metalhead 🤘 What do I need to know about you? DM me and let's talk! #counselling #wellbeing #mentalhealth

"What kind of leader do you want to be?" Whether you are already in a leadership role, or if this is something you hope to do in the future, this is an important question to ask yourself. No-one ever asked me this question when I stepped into leadership, back in 2007. I became a Team Leader almost by default, and I lacked the self-awareness to realise that I was actually getting in my own way a lot of the time. It took me a few years to develop my leadership style and to get to the point where I understood enough about myself to be fully present for the team. I WANTED to be all of these things: -- Assertive -- Supportive -- Encouraging -- Trusting -- Consistent -- Authoritative -- Loyal -- Energetic ...but on reflection I WASN'T all of these things. I worked on the parts that didn't come so naturally (in particular, being assertive and authoritative), and I like to think that my management abilities improved...but my natural need to be liked, and my competitive drive to always be the best, often got in the way. So, again, ask yourself: "What kind of leader do you want to be?" Because you are also a HUMAN BEING, and you aren't perfect. And this is ok. If you have a sense of the type of leader you want to be, and the impact you want to have on others, this is a great start. It means you can start to identify what you are already doing well, and which parts of your personality are getting in the way. This will help give you insight into the areas you need to develop further. #leadership #management #personality

After a meeting, it can be helpful to look back and evaluate how we did. Analysing our performance, especially alongside feedback from others, can help us learn, grow and make more deliberate choices next time. However, most people's self-talk is with a critical voice. "Why did I say that?" "Why didn't I speak up?" There are different types of WHY - and these ones here aren't overly helpful because they are CRITICAL. When we ask ourselves "Why did I say that?" or "Why didn't I speak up?", the answer will almost always lead to negative thinking. For example: ..."I don't KNOW why I said that. I'm rubbish at this" ..."I didn't speak up because I am too shy" Good news. There is another way! The WHYs above are critical ones. If you change the tone of voice, or perhaps add 2 words ("I wonder") before, then suddenly the Why goes from critical to CURIOUS. "I wonder why I said that" "I wonder why I didn't speak up" Being CURIOUS about why we did or didn't do something enables us to analyse the situation without criticising ourselves. It is a more forgiving, kind and realistic way of looking at what we do, accepting that we are human beings who aren't perfect, and are trying our best. Maybe, the next time you have a meeting at work, a call with a client, an interview, or an exchange with a colleague, try talking to yourself afterwards with a more CURIOUS "Why". You're trying your best - and there's no need to be overly critical of yourself. #negativethinking #meetings #feedback #purpose

Did you know that you are affected in a different way, unconsciously, by every person you interact with at work? 🌞 Have you noticed that there are some people who you are always glad to see, and your day feels lighter the moment they walk in a room? 💥 Do you recognise that feeling of DREAD when someone else comes in, because you know you feel nervous around them? 👊🏽 Is there someone you love bantering with? You don't spend time with them outside of work, but in that 1-minute exchange every morning you always have a laugh with them. 🚫 Is there someone you have never really spoken to, and have no real desire to - even though there isn't a rational reason why? ------- What is it about these different people, who each bring out a different side of us? More often that not, it is because they actually remind us of OTHER people from when we were younger (in the counselling world, this is referred to as 'Transference'). We don't realise it in the moment, but we return to a certain way of being because this is our blueprint. In a work context, it can be helpful to recognise the above when you have a colleague / manager you are struggling with. If you DREAD going into meetings with a particular person, you feel 'on edge' around them, and it is genuinely affecting your work and making you unhappy, then maybe moving jobs ISN'T the answer. . ...Because you will probably encounter someone else in another company, who provokes a similar feeling in you. ....And you will encounter someone else in the company after that too. If you can recognise that you feel and behave a certain way because of encounters in your past, then this is a big step. If you can work through the trauma you experienced when you were younger, it will help you become more resilient. You don't have to be a slave to the same familiar patterns of behaviour that you have developed over the years, if you don't want to. ----- I help people who are struggling with the pressures of a stressful job, alongside difficulties at home. Please get in touch if you would like to have a completely confidential chat, about how Purpose sessions can help you make better sense of the relationships you have with your colleagues, and make more deliberate choices about how you engage with them. #purpose #counselling #mentoring #colleagues

Carrot or Stick? I work with a range of team managers and business leaders, helping them navigate personal and professional challenges at work and at home. One theme that comes up a lot is knowing how to handle UNDERPERFORMANCE - something that very few leaders enjoy doing. Every situation is different, but often the main dilemma is whether to use the 'Carrot' approach (encouraging, nurturing, incentivising, rewarding) or 'Stick' (presenting the threat of punishment, and following through). As a leader, you will already know that some situations clearly call for Carrot, and some for Stick. But what about the AMBIGUOUS ones, when the solution is less clear? For example: ➡️ The long-serving team member who has been a consistent performer for 5+ years, but their performance has started to drop and it isn't obvious why. ➡️ A trainee who joined 6 months ago and is doing some things well but has picked up some bad habits. ➡️ A high performer who bills well, but isn't using the CRM the way you want them to. ➡️ Someone who demonstrates great potential and has flashes of brilliance, but doesn't sustain their performance. How many times can they go on a PIP? You might handle the situation differently depending on the individual. One person's personality style may mean they need sharp, clear direction; whereas another person may respond better to a softer, more patient approach. So, where do YOU draw the line? How do YOU make your judgements - and are there times when your approach has backfired? As a counsellor who has also run a recruitment business, I love helping people figure out the answers to these questions. Everyone is different, and I don't have a specific framework or model that I tell people to use. Instead, my approach is to listen, and to provide my clients with a safe, confidential space where they can talk through their leadership dilemmas and gain greater insight into WHY they may think, feel and act in a certain way. They can then make more purposeful, confident decisions. If you can relate to any of this, and would value some private, impartial support, away from colleagues, friends and family, please get in touch for a FREE initial chat. #purpose #leadership #management #wellbeing

“I used to make my own lunch and take it into work, but now I just buy a meal deal each day instead”. Does this sound familiar? There is nothing wrong with meal deals, of course! But if you USED to make your own lunch, and you have lost the enthusiasm for this routine, maybe it is a subtle sign that you aren't in a good place right now? Sometimes the small signs are the important ones...the ones that suggest that you know you could do things differently, but you have slipped into a routine that feels more convenient. Does it mean that you aren’t getting up as early as you used to? Or that you have started to feel too overwhelmed by everything else to have the extra energy to make your own lunch (even though you know it would save you money and would probably be healthier)..? Or that your 'new year, new start' energy has depleted? Sometimes, talking it through can help you learn more about yourself, and help you take more active control of the decisions you are making. #purpose #wellbeing #healthyliving #mentalhealth

LinkedIn is full of people saying that you should leave your job if you aren't being treated right by your manager. The overwhelming opinion on here is that company culture is everything, and that if you aren't being nurtured, developed, trained, looked after, and given the right benefits ('flexibility, not free pizza...'), then you should go elsewhere. I don't necessarily disagree...but I do think that some of these comments should be taken with a BIG pinch of salt. I work with a lot of people in different businesses, and in most cases it is their PERCEPTION of events that causes them to feel a certain way - NOT the events themselves. In other words, if you feel undervalued, disrespected, overlooked or other negative feelings towards your current work, remember that these are YOUR feelings. The environment may not be right for you. But before you jump to this conclusion, ask yourself: -- What else is going on for you at the moment? Are there other difficulties you are experiencing OUTSIDE of work, which might be influencing how you are feeling? -- Is there anything you can do to improve the things you are finding frustrating right now? -- Does your manager know you are unhappy? If not, could you tell them? Maybe the situation could improve if they have more appreciation of your experience. Remember that if a recruiter is advising you to move jobs, they probably have an alterior motive. Moving to a new opportunity COULD be just the right thing for you...but just make sure you ask yourself some important questions first. #purpose #mentoring #career #wellbeing #culture

Recruitment Leaders: How did the first month of Q1 gone? Has everyone been firing on all cylinders throughout January, the way you hoped they would, and has this momentum continued this week? If you have certain individuals in your team who haven't quite hit their stride yet, or who seem a little distracted by things outside of work, perhaps I can help. As a qualified counsellor who has worked in recruitment for over 17 years, I help recruiters at all levels, who are trying to balance the pressures of work alongside challenges at home. I conduct private video sessions, typically weekly, that give people a safe space to explore what is going on for them. This could support personal & professional development programmes that someone is going through already, or it could be a way to help them process difficulties at home, or mental health struggles, that are preventing them from staying focused. You are very welcome to contact me for a private discussion, with no obligations beyond this, if you have someone you are concerned about. #recruitment #february #wellbeing

Recruiters: How can you stop your own billing from falling off a cliff when you move up into a leadership role? This is a challenge I hear about all the time. It is one of the toughest things to avoid in recruitment / sales. People are often promoted into management roles because they have acheived some kind of target, and because leadership is often one of the only logical routes to take. Even if leadership IS something you really want to do, then it can be hard to maintain your own billing when you become responsible for others. The key is self-awareness. You can be given the best leadership training in the world, but things will only go well if you can AVOID GETTING IN YOUR OWN WAY. What does this mean? It is different for everyone, but here are some examples: ➡️ If you are a competitive person, does this also mean you will want to be the highest biller in your team? On some deep level, might this mean you don't actually want other people in your team to do that well? ➡️ If you are a nurturing person, is there a risk that you could get too caught up in the personal drama of team leadership, and find it hard to stay objective? ➡️ If you have times of self-doubt, could this prevent you from being assertive and setting clear boundaries? ------ No-one is perfect. You will have skills that, if nurtured correctly, could make you a GREAT leader. You will also have things that block you, perhaps without you realising. Developing your self-awareness comes from gaining a deeper understanding of your own past, and how you came to be where you are now. If you haven't ever had counselling before, perhaps now is a time to give it a go? Talking privately with a qualified professional, who is completely separate from friends, colleagues and family, can be the best way to help you understand yourself better, and in turn enable you to be a leader who is present and encouraging enough for the team but can also be assertive enough to have enough time to maintain your own billing, without being led by your own ego. Please get in touch if you would like to find out more! #recruitment #leadership #wellbeing #management #sales