Rice & Grealish To Be Blurred Out During Ireland England Game

TO PRESERVE the ocular safety of Irish football fans and to reduce their exposure to upsetting images, violently English in nature, broadcasters are utilising new technology which will see Jack Grealish and Declan Rice blurred out for the duration of Ireland’s Nation’s League match against England.

Consulting editors of Japanese pornography and using recent advancements in blurring, RTÉ will, in real time, ensure no one has to see the two former Irish internationals play in Lansdowne Road in an English shirt.

“The Japanese lads say they’re well used to blurring out pricks, so this should be a walk in the park,” said one camera operator working the match.

“Lee Carsley’s grand though, sound man” concluded any fan who saw the former Irish international don the green of Ireland.

For those watching from the stands, special glasses will be handed out that turn blurry when catching sight of the Man City and Arsenal players.

“There’s sick bags under every seat as well just in case,” confirmed staff at the stadium.

A warning has been issued that anyone seeking to get old Irish jerseys with ‘Rice’ on the back of them signed by the player will be banned for life, unless they can prove they were only getting the signature as part of a sacrificial fire which aims to put a witch’s curse on him.

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