Wendy’s Decide To Launch In Ireland After Seeing Obesity Levels Chart

US FAST FOOD giant Wendy’s was convinced to enter the Irish marketplace after perusing Irish obesity stats, WWN has been told.

“At 26% for women and 25.7% for men, if we didn’t enter the Irish market that’d be like a bank refusing money,” explained a Wendy’s spokesperson, who said 300 jobs would be created.

“Only 32% of your population is considered ‘active’, this will be like giving candy to a baby, before throwing a few burgers down their gullet”.

More positive jobs news will come in the additional open heart surgeries and associated health professionals required in the coming years.

“Our only concern is that there isn’t enough charging point for electric mobility scooters. If Ireland is serious about its obesity rates, more retailers need to replace trolleys with these scooters,” added the spokesperson.

Critics of the popular chain have highlighted the announcement’s timing, coming the day before World Diabetes Day.

“Do you have any idea what an announcement like this does to our stress levels?” Ireland’s dieticians said, while unqualified nutritionists saw the announcement as a chance to shift some more ‘lose weight through chronic diarrhoea’ healthy shakes.

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