Martina Burke Starting To Suspect Family Would Do Anything To Get Away From Her

WITH HER husband Sean Burke answering ‘no thanks, prison please’ when a judge asked if he could consider signing a bond of good behaviour for a 12 month period to avoid a prison sentence after been found guilty of assaulting a female garda, sources close to Burke matriarch Martina say she is beginning to become a bit suspicious.

“Prison is like a relaxing 5-star spa at the foothills of the Himalayas by comparison, now you didn’t hear that from me,” confirmed a reluctant neighbour of the family, of Enoch and now Sean’s incarceration.

Witnesses said another Burke cleared in court yesterday of obstructing a garda from carrying out their duties broke down in tears and begged the judge for a jail sentence.

“They haven’t just chosen prison for a bit of a break from her, it’s also their knees, legs, ankles that need the break. They were up to 80,000 steps on the FitBit some days, traipsing around the streets filming themselves chasing and shouting at people,” offered a source.

Martina Burke’s suspicions have all but been confirmed after Enoch bricked up an escape tunnel his mother built into prison which was concealed behind a poster of Rita Hayworth.

“Ah look, Christmas can be a stressful time if you have batty relatives, I’ve often considered doing a short stretch too just to get a break from my lot. She looks like she’d lose the plot after dinner over a game of Monopoly in fairness,” offered one observer.

After the jailing of Sean Burke, garda commissioner Drew Harris took to the steps outside the courts to boast about putting another ‘key figure’ in the Burke Crime Group behind bars.