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We Can't Talk about That at Work!: How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics Paperback – Illustrated, April 23, 2017

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 463 ratings

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We Need to Talk!


Conversations about taboo topics happen at work every day. And if they aren't handled effectively, they can become polarizing and divisive, impacting productivity, engagement, retention, teamwork, and even employees' sense of safety in the workplace.

In this concise and powerful book, Mary-Frances Winters shows how to deal with sensitive subjects in a way that brings people together instead of driving them apart. She helps you become aware of the role culture plays in shaping people's perceptions, habits, and communication styles and gives detailed guidance for structuring conversations about those things we're not supposed to talk about.

Preparation is crucial—but so is intent. Winters advises you to “come from your heart, learn from your mistakes, and continue to contribute to making this a more inclusive world for all.”




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From the Publisher

mary-frances winters mary-frances winters mary-frances winters
Black Fatigue We Can’t Talk about That at Work! Inclusive Conversations
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4.6 out of 5 stars
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Price $9.57 $13.50 $6.71
Books by Mary-Frances Winters This is the first book to define and explore Black fatigue, the intergenerational impact of systemic racism on the physical and psychological health of Black people—and explain why and how society needs to do more to combat its pernicious effects. Instead of shutting down any mention of taboo topics, Mary-Frances Winters shows how to structure intentional conversations about them, so people can safely confront biases and stereotypes and create stronger, more inclusive organizations. "What is impressive is not only how Winters builds a case for the urgency for inclusive conversations but that she also gives specific strategies and competencies to turn her theory into practice.” —Dr. Sheila Robinson, CEO, Diversity Woman Media

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Given all the external influences that ultimately impact how we show up in our personal and professional lives, it's important that we, as organizations and leaders, encourage open dialogue and a safe space to engage. This book provides everything you need to do just that.”
—Rohini Anand, PhD, Senior Vice President, Corporate Responsibility, and Global Chief Diversity Officer, Sodexo

“This is the book we have been waiting for. Read it, learn from it, acquire the skills described in it. And then with courage, patience, and practice, you will be prepared to have those difficult but necessary conversations in your workplace.”
—Johnnetta Betsch Cole, PhD, President Emerita, Spelman College and Bennett College

“Mary-Frances Winters has done it again! Her real-life examples are compelling, and her ‘best practices' can have an immediate impact on everyone who reads her book.”
—Mitchell R. Hammer, PhD, President, Intercultural Development Inventory, LLC; Intercultural Conflict Style Inventory, LLC; and Safe Dialogue, LLC

“I'm very excited about the release of We Can't Talk about That at Work! The issue of discussing polarizing topics at work is a really tough one. People are not comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. I'm happy that there will finally be a resource to guide us all on how to get comfortable being uncomfortable.”
—Michele C. Meyer-Shipp, Esq., Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer, Prudential Financial, Inc.

“This book is a comprehensive, practical, and highly accessible tool for empowering people to have the brave conversations that are needed in these tumultuous times. Mary-Frances has given readers an invaluable resource for organizations and individuals to navigate the charged times that we live in and make a contribution toward cocreating a more compassionate future.”
—Nene Molefi, diversity and inclusion thought leader and CEO, Mandate Molefi

“Mary-Frances Winters's wisdom shines throughout this book. She helps us understand deeply why we need to talk about polarizing topics—yes, at work—and then proceeds to show us how with care, concern, and compassion for those who may not agree with us. I hope that all leaders and employees read it and implement her wise suggestions and counsel.”
—Julie O'Mara, coauthor of Global Diversity and Inclusion Benchmarks and other inclusion works and Past-President, American Society for Training & Development (now ATD)

“We are living in times of crisis. Day after day, we are confronted with polarization about issues of real import to our society and our world that can seem difficult, if not impossible, to talk about. And yet this is not a time for timidity. We must talk about these issues if we are going to cross the great divides in our ideologies and exist together in civil society. Mary-Frances Winters has created an extremely helpful guide for better understanding and navigating those difficult conversations. Be bold—use this book!”
—Howard Ross, founder and Chief Learning Officer, Cook Ross

“We Can't Talk about That at Work! has hit the mark. This body of work is critically important to advancing inclusion and dialogue in our workplaces. As we work diligently to increase our diversity, we struggle with inclusion and having the difficult conversations about the various aspects of diversity. Now, we have a road map and tools to support diversity professionals, leaders, and employees in any work environment. This will be the book used by all.”
—Darlene Slaughter, Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer, United Way Worldwide

“In the current global political and social climate, characterized by increasingly polarized views, the ability to embrace views different from our own, without judgment or vilification, is more critical than ever. It is also at the heart of all diversity and inclusion work. For with all our ideals, we often overlook the fact that diversity and inclusion can be hard. In We Can't Talk about That at Work!, Mary-Frances addresses this issue head-on, providing practical skills to empower leaders and managers to have effective dialogue across difference.”
—Kate Vernon, Director, Strategic Programmes, Community Business

“The presidential farewell address is a perfect way to set up this powerful and practical guide to effectively engaging in conversations about polarizing issues. I too believe that we need to meet people where they are, and not expect them to necessarily see the world from our view, and that we all have work to do to close the cultural divide and change hearts. What makes this book different is its soft approach to bold conversations, using talking tips, templates, and reflection questions.”
—Tyronne Stoudemire, Vice President of Global Diversity and Inclusion, Hyatt Hotels Corporation, and Adjunct Lecturer of Management and Organization, Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University

“Whether in her writing, public speaking, or consulting, Mary-Frances Winters always delivers. Deep subject matter expertise, strategic thinking, sociocultural insights, contemporary application, and wisdom will spill out of these pages as you engage with it.”
—Andrés Tapia, Senior Client Partner and Global Practice Leader, Workforce Performance, Inclusion and Diversity, Korn Ferry Hay Group, and author of The Inclusion Paradox

About the Author

As founder and president of the Winters Group, Mary-Frances Winters has been helping clients create inclusive environments for over three decades. She was named a diversity pioneer by Profiles in Diversity Journal and is the recipient of the prestigious Athena Award, as well as the Winds of Change Award conferred by the Forum on Workplace Inclusion.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1st edition (April 23, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 184 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1523094265
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1523094264
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.56 x 0.54 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 463 ratings

About the author

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Mary-Frances Winters
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Mary-Frances Winters, founder and CEO of The Winters Group, Inc., a 39-year-old global diversity, equity, inclusion and justice consulting firm, truly believes that diversity and inclusion work is her "passion and calling." Dubbed a thought leader in the field, for the past three decades she has impacted over hundreds of organizations and thousands of individuals with her thought-provoking message, and her approach to diversity and inclusion. Ms. Winters is a master strategist with experience in strategic planning, change management, diversity, organization development, training and facilitation, systems thinking and qualitative and quantitative research methods. She has extensive experience in working with senior leadership teams to drive organizational change.

Among her many awards and distinctions, she was named a diversity pioneer by Profiles in Diversity Journal in August 2007 and most recently received the Winds of Change award from the Forum on Workplace Inclusion in 2016. Ms. Winters was also featured in Forbes’ June 2016 publication, which honored some of the DC Metro area’s most powerful women. In November 2019, she was named by Forbes as one of 10 trailblazers in diversity and inclusion.

She has served as a torch bearer for the Olympics and has previously been recognized as an Athena Award winner from the Chamber of Commerce for her contributions to women and the community.

Ms. Winters is the author of seven books: Racial Justice at Work: Practical Solutions for Systemic Change (February 2023), Black Fatigue: How Racism Erodes the Mind, Body, and Spirit (September 2020), Inclusive Conversations: Fostering Equity, Empathy, and Belonging Across Differences (August 2020), We Can’t Talk about That at Work!: How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics (2017), Only Wet Babies Like Change: Workplace Wisdom for Baby Boomers, Inclusion Starts With “I” and CEO’s Who Get It: Diversity Leadership from the Heart and Soul. Ms. Winters also authored a chapter in the book Diversity at Work: The Practice of Inclusion (2013) and numerous articles.

She is a graduate of the University of Rochester with undergraduate degrees in English and Psychology, and a master’s degree in business administration from the William E. Simon Executive Development Program. She received an honorary doctorate from Roberts Wesleyan College.

She serves on the board of Trustees of The University of Rochester, The board of Visitors for Johnson C. Smith University and The Council on Black Health.

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4.6 out of 5 stars
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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful and practical for guiding inclusive conversations. They appreciate its clear explanations and helpful exercises that guide them through sensitive topics. The book is concise and easy to understand, providing useful suggestions and outlines for teaching without being preachy.

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19 customers mention "Readability"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and useful for guiding inclusive conversations. They appreciate the practical guidance and wisdom on sensitive topics. The self-understanding items are particularly helpful. Readers find it a great resource beyond textbooks, with suggestions and outlines for teaching.

"...Not only is it well written and easy to read but the content is incredibly relevant to today’s work environment and with everything that’s going on..." Read more

"...It offers many tools to leverage and equip people to have necessary yet difficult conversations while bridging differences...." Read more

"...Winters’ book about how to have successful, productive conversations about polarizing topics...." Read more

"An important read. Smart, insightful and practical, Winters provides a well-articulated case for having bold, inclusive conversations at work as..." Read more

9 customers mention "Clarity"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book concise and easy to understand. They say it provides practical guidance and step-by-step instructions without being preachy. The content is well-written and relevant.

"...Not only is it well written and easy to read but the content is incredibly relevant to today’s work environment and with everything that’s going on..." Read more

"...I’m glad I read “WCTATAW.” It was easy to read and it flowed...." Read more

"...case for having bold, inclusive conversations at work as well as clear, step-by-step guidance on how complex dialogue can happen in a positive way..." Read more

"...It is easy to read and also inspirational. I thought I knew how to have these tough conversations.. but I learned a lot from this book...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2024
    Someone recommended this book to me and I am so glad they did. Not only is it well written and easy to read but the content is incredibly relevant to today’s work environment and with everything that’s going on in our country and in the world. Great for managers and non managers alike.
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2024
    This book provides so much depth and insight that's constructive and balanced. It offers many tools to leverage and equip people to have necessary yet difficult conversations while bridging differences. I highly recommend it for anyone committed to a journey of allyship and inclusivity.
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2022
    I appreciate Mary-Francis Winters’ book about how to have successful, productive conversations about polarizing topics. I think the work of The Winters Group is important and should continue in helping to establish cultures of diversity and inclusion in organizations.

    I just don’t think the process described in this book is practical for most organizations. The author suggests that these conversations not be spontaneous, but I think in reality this is how these conversations are happening and most often that’s how they will continue to happen. Understanding the principles from this book can help make these conversations more peaceful and productive.

    Perhaps the process described in this book might be more practical for organizations that have had incidents and major tension around a polarizing topic. Company required diversity education, protective policies, corporate diversity goals and events that celebrate diversity are real ways that can help diverse people feel valued and create a culture of diversity and inclusion in the workplace. Workplace book club discussions and recommended reading of these kinds of books can also help.

    I thought the examples focused too much on conversations about race, specifically, black and white. Of course this is a major and valid polarizing issue. But not the only issue that needs addressing.

    On a side note, this book caused me to deal with some of my own bias. It caused me to bring it to the surface and decide to think about why I felt the way I felt and admit to myself that this thinking is wrong. And that my supporting reasons for thinking that way are also invalid. I prayed about it and decided to actively change the way I think going forward.

    There is some really good wisdom about how to address sensitive topics. I will definitely go back through and highlight strategies that’s spoke to me and try to absorb them and carry them with me as I communicate with others (especially the list of inclusive habits to live by on page 119).

    I’m glad I read “WCTATAW.” It was easy to read and it flowed. I think it can make a difference in the way professionals and others communicate about polarizing topics.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2022
    An important read. Smart, insightful and practical, Winters provides a well-articulated case for having bold, inclusive conversations at work as well as clear, step-by-step guidance on how complex dialogue can happen in a positive way for beneficial outcomes. This is BIG work. One of things I admired about Winters writing was her description of what could be perceived as impossible work, my “talking to her on the page” as I read, saying something like “…this is not realistic… how could I possible do this and produce my event and do my grant proposals, and…” and I’d turn the page and Winters intuitively responds, writing (I’m paraphrasing): “I know what you’re thinking. Your time and workload don’t afford time to commit to this work…” Although I’m not sure how this guide fits into my personal journey or my organization’s, it is definitely a must read for its thoughtful, the 360-degree view.
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2017
    I've known Mary-Frances and admired her work for a long time. AND I think this most recent contribution to her many gifts to others is one of her most helpful. It is easy to read and also inspirational. I thought I knew how to have these tough conversations.. but I learned a lot from this book. It is one that I will readily give to others and include in my work. It is timely, too. We all need to step up and -- yes -- talk about this. I've always been told to steer clear of politics at work.. but I see that I need to stand up for my beliefs -- and more importantly be a better listener.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on August 22, 2020
    The content wasn’t very helpful or useful. My employer recommended reading it before office racism discussions started. For the life of me I don’t know why this book was chosen as a facilitating resource.
    8 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2017
    We Can't Talk about That at Work!: How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics

    We are in the mist of one of the polarizing times in the World's history. People are angry, divided and afraid because of Global and local events of police brutality, terrorism, sexism and racism. Typically, people impacted directly or indirectly by these events hold their emotions and concerns inside and become stressed and less effective, or seek the anonymity of the internet to console themselves or lash out at others.

    We can't talk about that at work contains compassionate, pragmatic and sage advice about how to talk about these realities at work in manner that leads to personal growth, effective relationships and organizational benefit. Through research, case studies, role-playing, exercises and self-assessments, Mary-Frances Winters has provided an engaging guide for people to talk about issues of race, religion and politics at work that will benefit employees and organizations.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2017
    In today's environment our ability to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations is more important than ever. Mary-Frances Winters has just made it easier. Her new book "We Can't Talk About That at Work" breaks it down into an easy to understand process. She provides "Real" world examples that gave me the opportunity to reflect on some of my own situations. The tips at the end of each chapter really give you some "go do" actions to get you started. This is truly an empowering book that is a must read for everyone!