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8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go Kindle Edition

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 4,816 ratings

The author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk offers a revelatory guide to every stage of romance, drawing on ancient wisdom and new science.

Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now.

Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.

By living Jay Shetty’s eight rules, we can all love ourselves, our partner, and the world better than we ever thought possible.
Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

"[A] refreshing look at love as a daily practice…Shetty combines spiritual wisdom and down-to-earth guidance in a surprisingly seamless way, making for lessons that have real staying power. Those looking to start or strengthen relationships will find this well worth a look." Publisher's Weekly

“An excellent guide to rising in love to joy and fulfillment.”
Deepak Chopra

“In this insightful, myth-shattering book, Jay Shetty combines ancient wisdom and modern science to show how we can find -- in ourselves and others -- the love we all deserve.”
Lori Gottlieb

"Jay's ability to write with such truth and wisdom when it comes to love and life is masterful. Somehow a topic that has always felt larger than I could handle now feels within reach. This book left me feeling confident and clear about how to move through Love with grace."
Shawn Mendes

"Jay’s great book provides real and heartfelt solutions to the complex problems that arise around love. I wish I’d been able to read it when I was young and chasing love and I’m grateful I’ve read it now - you will be too."
Russell Brand

"This is not a book of pick up lines or dos and don'ts of dating.
8 Rules of Love is honest and filled with wisdom I've never encountered before. The next time you're tempted to ask your hot mess friend for relationship advice, pick this book up instead." Lilly Singh

About the Author

Jay Shetty is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, award-winning storyteller, podcast host, and former monk, dedicated to helping people train their mind for peace and purpose every day. In 2017, Forbes named him to their 30 Under 30 List for his game-changing impact in media. His viral videos have been viewed more than 10 billion times and he is followed by over 50 million people across social media. In 2019, Jay created On Purpose, now the world’s #1 Health and Wellness podcast. He’s been a keynote speaker around the world, invited to Google, Microsoft, Netflix and American Express, among many others. Over two million people have attended his Online School, and his Genius Coaching community provides weekly programming on health and wellness to thousands of members in over 100 countries.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0B918SBSJ
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster (January 31, 2023)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 31, 2023
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 7898 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 319 pages
  • Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ B0BV6PVN9G
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 4,816 ratings

About the author

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Jay Shetty
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Author Jay Shetty aims to elevate us from the negativity, anxiety, and hopelessness of today’s

world in his book THINK LIKE A MONK: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day, to be

published by Simon and Schuster on April 14. Drawing on both Jay’s experience as a monk in a

Hindu ashram and his post-monk life as an influential thinker and spiritual guide, Think Like a

Monk distills monk wisdom into practical, everyday steps anyone can take to live a less anxious,

more meaningful life.

How can we transform our experience of life today? Jay says, “When I trained as a monk, I

found that monks are able to remain centered and calm amid all the chaos that life throws at

us. Monks are the absolute experts in mastering their minds. I wrote THINK LIKE A MONK in

order to help everyone access the same mindset, the same thinking patterns, the same

processes that help monks find peace, balance, and purpose.”

Like his monk teachers, Jay draws from the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Indian text based on the

Upanishads, writings from around 800-400 BCE. In a world where people are constantly looking

for answers, Jay believes the wisdom for how to find peace and purpose has been here all

along.

***

Born in north London in 1987, Jay and his sister were raised in a middle-class Indian family.

Until the age of 14, Jay did well in school, stayed out of trouble and tried his best to live up to

his parents’ high expectations. But he was a shy, introverted young boy who was bullied for

being overweight and a little nerdy. When he started secondary school, things changed. He

began playing soccer and rugby, became more popular, and started mixing with the wrong

crowd. Jay’s thrill-seeking ventures got him suspended from school more than once as he tried

to find his identity.

By the time he got to college at Cass Business School in London in 2007, Jay had shifted his

curiosity in more productive directions. He was reading autobiographies of everyone from

Malcolm X to David Beckham, driven to understand the roots of success and making a

difference in the world. Still, when a friend invited him to hear a monk give a talk, he agreed to

go only if his friend would join him at a club afterward.

That night, the monk, Gauranga Das, spoke about the principle of self-sacrifice. He talked about

how people should plant trees under whose shade they do not plan to sit. This was a

transformative moment for Jay. He’d been focused on the success of people who’d gone from

nothing to something—rags-to-riches stories—but this man had done the opposite. And yet he

appeared joyous, confident, and at peace. “He was saying that the greatest thing you can do

with your talents and your skills is to use them in the service of others,” Shetty, now 32, told

People magazine. For Jay, this was a completely new idea of success.

In the community where Jay grew up, it was expected that he would become one of three

things: a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure. When he headed to India to study with monks, his family

was convinced he had chosen option three.

After graduating from college in 2010 with a 1 st class Bachelor of Science degree with Honors in

Behavioral Science, Jay traded his suits for robes, shaved his head, and moved to the ashram,

where he slept on the floor and lived out of a gym locker. Half the day was spent on personal

growth, meditating for hours and studying ancient scriptures. The rest of the time was spent

helping others.

In the course of his studies, Jay was amazed to observe that the wisdom of the monks was as

relevant today as it was when it was first put in writing over 3000 years ago. Then, after three

years as a monk in ashrams in London and Mumbai, one of his teachers told him that he would

have more impact on the world if he left the monk’s path to share his experience and wisdom

with others. This advice was crushing—Jay thought he was going to be a monk for the rest of

his life. In debt, with no employable skills on his resume, he moved back home to north London

with his parents. “Everything I'd learned was tested in that moment,” Jay says of the transition.

“I had to figure out how to put everything I'd learned into practice in the real world.”

Shetty reconnected with old school friends—many working for some of the world’s largest

corporations—who were experiencing tremendous stress, pressure, and unhappiness, and they

invited Shetty to coach them on well-being, purpose, and mindfulness. Jay says, “Very quickly I

realized that a big part of my passion and purpose is to serve and give the wisdom I’ve learned

with others. I started small. For almost a decade I shared my thoughts on psychology,

spirituality, philosophy, and behavioral science at universities, local events, and in small groups

in London. Three years ago I moved to New York, then Los Angeles, and began to present the

wisdom and lessons I had learned from my amazing mentors and coaches online through video.

My intention was to share wisdom with more people so they would see there were other

people out there like them, and it would make a difference. And it did.” 

***

Since launching his video channel in 2016, Jay has produced over 400 videos, which have

amassed more than 6.5 billion views and gained over 34 million followers globally. In 2017, he

was named in the Forbes magazine 30-under-30 for being a game-changer in the world of

media. In 2018, he had the #1 video on Facebook with over 360 million views. Jay was the cover

of the November 2019 issue of Adweek and was a People Magazine “one to watch” in

December 2019.

On his podcast, On Purpose, every Monday Jay conducts an hour long interview with a

different inspirational guest. Past guests include Kobe Bryant, Jada Pinkett Smith, Russel Brand,

Novak Djokovic, Khloe Kardashian, and Ray Dalio. Every Friday Jay gives his own guidance on a

topic such as procrastination, confidence, or decision-making.

The podcast, launched in 2019, received 52 million audio downloads in its first year and over

ten million views in podcast videos. It won that year’s Shorty Award for Health and Wellness.

iTunes named On Purpose in their Top New Podcast’s of 2019 and consistently rank Jay as the

#1 Health Podcast. Spotify named Jay the #1 Podcast in India.

Jay’s message has resonated with companies such as Google, L’Oreal, Facebook, Coca Cola,

HSBC, EY, Microsoft and Accenture, who have invited him to lead seminars and deliver keynotes

on finding your purpose in the workplace, well-being for the future, and digital media strategy..

He’s become so much of a cultural phenomenon that he was even asked to portray a version of

himself in the “Bad Boys For Life” trailer with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence.

2020 will bring Jay’s message to a larger audience than ever with the publication of THINK LIKE

A MONK. In the book, Jay draws deeply from ancient wisdom, modern social science, and his

own rich experiences in the ashram to articulate a journey similar to the one he took. He guides

people step-by-step through the process of adapting to the monk mindset, first by letting go—a

cleansing to make space for growth; then by growing—reshaping your life to make decisions

with intention, purpose and confidence; and finally by giving—looking beyond yourself to

deepen gratitude and relationships. He says, “People need to go through experiences to learn,

so the book is full of practical exercises, activities, and experiments. Everything in this book is

something one can actually do in their own time at home, whether in the back of a car, on a

commute, walking the dog, or cooking.” Along the way, Jay proves that everyone can—and

should—think like a monk.

Simon & Schuster will publish the book in the US and Canada, and it will be published in more

than 30 countries worldwide. Simon & Schuster VP and Executive Editor Eamon Dolan says,

“Nobody makes the timeless feel more timely than Jay does. He makes ancient wisdom, which

often comes across as abstract, so clear, so inspiring, and so practical.”

Jay lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Radhi Devlukia Shetty, a plant-based dietitian and

Ayurvedic medicine enthusiast, to whom the book is dedicated. Jay enjoys listening to Drake at

the gym and nature sounds while meditating. He’s a Manchester United fan and really admired

Cristiano Ronaldo’s work ethic and determination on the pitch. Jay and Radhi love eating at

plant-based restaurants, visiting spas, and spending time outdoors cycling and in escape rooms.

“Jay Shetty shows you step by step how Self Power emerges when you shift your identity from

self image to self esteem. This book could change your life and move you from the hypnosis of

social conditioning to being the  creative architect of your life journey.”

— Deepak Chopra

“Grab this book, find a comfortable chair, and let Jay Shetty take you on a life-changing journey.

A gifted teacher, Jay guides us with warmth and clarity on a path to greater joy and purpose in

living, offering wisdom that we can put into practice right now.  You will want to share it with

everyone you love.”

—Robert Waldinger, MD

Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

Director, Harvard Study of Adult Development

Sensei and Priest, Boundless Way Zen

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4,816 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides insightful and practical guidance on nurturing and maintaining love. They find the writing style relatable and heartfelt, blending personal anecdotes with timeless principles. The book is described as easy to read and understand, with simple words that make complex concepts clear. Readers describe it as a captivating journey that can be read at any time in life. The book offers actionable steps to navigate the complex issues, making it an interactive journey. The author's advice resonates deeply with customers.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

104 customers mention "Insight"104 positive0 negative

Customers find the book offers insightful advice on relationships and life. It helps them think about situations from a different perspective. The book provides practical guidance on nurturing and maintaining love while also embracing spirituality. Readers appreciate the blend of spirituality, psychology, and practical advice. Overall, they find the book inspiring and helpful.

"...Shetty's wisdom and practical advice are both inspiring and actionable, making this book a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen their..." Read more

"...Offers a lot of great insight into relationships and even talks about things to think about when it is time to end a relationship...." Read more

"...There is quite a bit of content to help you maintain and build a successful relationship. There is also information on when to call it quits...." Read more

"Great book for millennials in understanding relationships." Read more

37 customers mention "Ease of reading"37 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They appreciate the author's clear explanations and relatable writing style. The book offers simple teachings that are easy to implement.

"...The book is beautifully written, blending personal anecdotes with timeless principles that resonate deeply...." Read more

"...But I'm very excited to work through it, and so far the writing is very interesting!" Read more

"This author is amazing. I listen to his podcast and decided to purchase this book. It definitely gives you a great perspective!" Read more

"Jay Shetty clearly and concisely breaks down what love is. Likely the most challenging emotion to define for us...." Read more

13 customers mention "Storytelling"13 positive0 negative

Customers find the storytelling engaging and relatable. They appreciate the author's ability to blend personal anecdotes, practical advice, and emotional depth. The book does a great job of addressing common themes. Readers describe the author as fantastic and thought-provoking.

"...Shetty's approach is compassionate and relatable, providing readers with the tools to navigate the complexities of love with grace and..." Read more

"...He encourages readers to explore their own identities, desires, and vulnerabilities...." Read more

"...Like Jay's last book, this is practical but inspiring, elevated but relatable, hopeful but honest...." Read more

"...“ Think like a monk” and that was a very good book and a eye opener into Jay Shetty life which made me shift my way of thinking much more...." Read more

10 customers mention "Readability"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read. They say it's a must-read before marriage and can be read at any time in life.

"...I’ve listened for the past year. It’s been a slow, impactful healing that I needed to believe in myself...." Read more

"...This book can be read in any season of your life, whether in a relationship, getting out of one or like myself, a young single woman thriving in..." Read more

"This is a must read if you are trying to grow in your relationship. Jay breaks everything down and gives examples of his own relationship...." Read more

"...Definitely a must read before marriage. It hit me from the start and talks about what real love is...." Read more

6 customers mention "Actionable"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book offers practical steps to navigate love. They appreciate the interactive journey with exercises and meditations. The "Try This" sections are a highlight for readers.

"...Shetty's wisdom and practical advice are both inspiring and actionable, making this book a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen their..." Read more

"...Jay Shetty, drawing from ancient wisdom and modern science, offers actionable steps to navigate the complex landscape of romance. 1. **..." Read more

"...A strength of the book is its emphasis on practicality. Each chapter includes actionable steps that readers can take to apply the rule in their lives..." Read more

"...what it looks like, and most importantly gives action steps on successfully navigating these topics whether you are in a relationship, looking for..." Read more

5 customers mention "Pacing"5 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's pacing. They find the advice powerful and amazing. Jay Shetty breaks everything down and gives examples from his own relationships.

"...Jay breaks everything down and gives examples of his own relationship. There are activities inside the book that you and your partner can practice...." Read more

"...Jay Shetty is powerful and follow the lessons he teaches to enrich your life. Highly recommend." Read more

"Jay Shetty is amazing and the advice he gives is gold!!!..." Read more

"Once again, Jay doesn’t disappoint! A definite must read" Read more

4 customers mention "Resonance"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the timeless principles and practical guidance in the book. They find it a great listen and a good read.

"...blending personal anecdotes with timeless principles that resonate deeply...." Read more

"...Each rule resonated deeply, providing practical guidance on nurturing and maintaining love while also embracing the importance of letting go when..." Read more

"...So far it has so many good insights and activities that are resonating so well with me...." Read more

"Great listen..." Read more

By far the best book about love!
5 out of 5 stars
By far the best book about love!
I’ve read tons of marriage books but this one will blow you away! I found Jay Shetty on his On Purpose Podcast. I felt he was so knowledgeable and interesting to me that I bought Think Like a Monk. I was so inspired by that book that I still listen to a chapter a week on audio. I’ve listened for the past year. It’s been a slow, impactful healing that I needed to believe in myself. I also joined as a Genius member and wore out the 30 days free. I got overwhelmed with my finances so I canceled my membership. The more I started learning about finances is that my mindset was the number one key. They graciously took me back and the Genius team helped me with my app and new phone. It’s by far been my best investment! Today I have more in the bank than I ever have. I have sacrificed, work hard, and kept seeking knowledge. I used Jay, Mel R, Lewis Howes, Ed Mylett, Tom and Lisa Bilyeau. Guess what! They are friends and build each other up! Go follow all of them on social media!! Go buy ALL their books! These people don’t let excuses and fears control their life. I’m getting there one day at a time. I am grateful for the great progress I have made so far. ❤️❤️ 5 STAR Review. My 15 year wedding anniversary is in May 2023. I’m happy to have this book as a tool. Also, Rule #1 is a game changer. Jay provides it free on his podcast. The giving of love from this group of people will change the world!!!!!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on December 19, 2024
    "8 Rules of Love" by Jay Shetty is an exceptional book that offers profound insights into the art of building and maintaining meaningful relationships. Shetty's wisdom and practical advice are both inspiring and actionable, making this book a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen their connections with others.
    The book is beautifully written, blending personal anecdotes with timeless principles that resonate deeply. Shetty's approach is compassionate and relatable, providing readers with the tools to navigate the complexities of love with grace and understanding.
    "8 Rules of Love" is a must-read for anyone seeking to enhance their relationships and cultivate a more loving and fulfilling life. Jay Shetty's guidance is both enlightening and empowering, making this book a standout in the realm of personal development.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2025
    Bought this book because I read Jay Shetty's first book, "Think Like a Monk," and loved it. Offers a lot of great insight into relationships and even talks about things to think about when it is time to end a relationship. I have been married for 12 years, and this book gave me a lot to think about when it comes to the love I share.
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2024
    I am not going to delve into the content of the book as each person interprets the contents and how it applies to them individually. I will say it is worth a read if you are considering a long-term relationship. There is quite a bit of content to help you maintain and build a successful relationship. There is also information on when to call it quits. This is a difficult decision but this book helps with some self reflection. Happy reading!
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2023
    This was bubble wrapped in the packaging, which I really appreciated- it arrived in perfect condition. Some people might not think that's a big deal, but I love books, and like to keep mine looking nice as long as possible! It's a very attractive book without the jacket (see pics), and I think I might prefer it that way.
    I thought this would be strictly a reading book, but there seems to be a fair amount of suggestions and exercises...workbook type areas, where the reader needs to either be introspective or provide input to themselves. That's why I've only given 4 stars. Since I just started to jump in, I can't give a review for the entire book (or the process). But I'm very excited to work through it, and so far the writing is very interesting!
    Customer image
    4.0 out of 5 stars Great...so far!
    Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2023
    This was bubble wrapped in the packaging, which I really appreciated- it arrived in perfect condition. Some people might not think that's a big deal, but I love books, and like to keep mine looking nice as long as possible! It's a very attractive book without the jacket (see pics), and I think I might prefer it that way.
    I thought this would be strictly a reading book, but there seems to be a fair amount of suggestions and exercises...workbook type areas, where the reader needs to either be introspective or provide input to themselves. That's why I've only given 4 stars. Since I just started to jump in, I can't give a review for the entire book (or the process). But I'm very excited to work through it, and so far the writing is very interesting!
    Images in this review
    Customer image Customer image
    Customer imageCustomer image
    7 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2024
    Great book for millennials in understanding relationships.
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 23, 2024
    i enjoy his books good teading
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2024
    As a reader who values personal growth and meaningful connections, I found **"8 Rules of Love"** to be an insightful and practical guide. Jay Shetty, drawing from ancient wisdom and modern science, offers actionable steps to navigate the complex landscape of romance.

    1. **Holistic Approach**: Shetty emphasizes that love isn't just an emotion; it's a daily practice. He encourages readers to explore their own identities, desires, and vulnerabilities. The book includes questionnaires and self-reflection exercises, making it an interactive journey.

    2. **Avoiding False Promises**: Shetty debunks common myths about love and relationships. He reminds us that loneliness can lead us astray, pushing us into the wrong relationships or causing us to settle for less than we deserve.

    3. **The Relationship Cycle**: From first dates to moving in together, breaking up, and starting over, Shetty covers every stage of romance. His eight rules provide a roadmap for nurturing love, both for ourselves and our partners.

    4. **Practical Wisdom**: The author's Vedic-inspired insights are grounded in real-world scenarios. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or healing from heartbreak, you'll find valuable takeaways.

    In summary, **"8 Rules of Love"** is more than a book—it's a transformative experience. Shetty's blend of spirituality, psychology, and practical advice offers readers a chance to love authentically and build lasting connections. Highly recommended!
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2024
    This author is amazing. I listen to his podcast and decided to purchase this book. It definitely gives you a great perspective!

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • Andrea Vame
    5.0 out of 5 stars Lectura
    Reviewed in Mexico on January 7, 2024
    Los libros de Jay Shetty son siempre una garantía sì te gusta la superación personal. Me encanto la lectura. Llego en buenas condiciones el envío.
  • Aleksandra Ondrik
    5.0 out of 5 stars Book with beautiful tipps how to pertain love
    Reviewed in Germany on December 18, 2024
    Recommend reading if you're wishing to embrace your love in a relationship
  • RAPHAEL
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ótimo livro
    Reviewed in Spain on October 26, 2024
    Bom livro ótimo
  • Sharky
    5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read it
    Reviewed in Sweden on July 8, 2023
    I love Jay Shetty, this book is so nice to read gives you such a good information.
  • Paulina
    5.0 out of 5 stars In love with this live book
    Reviewed in Belgium on May 28, 2023
    This book is a must have ! The kind of book you will re-read through different moments of your life and will always teach you something new , optimal for woman , men from all ages !

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