Zena’s Safe Haven
I don’t take safety for granted today because my brother, two sisters and I never had it as kids.
My mom raised us on her own and my stepfather was physically abusive. None of us felt safe, not my mom, my siblings or me. Like many stories of abuse, we were scared of our situation but feared not being able to live on our own even more.
I was eight years old when, after a particularly scary night, my mom, siblings and I finally moved into a shelter. As a child, living in that shelter was a dream to me. A safe place. I even had a playground in my backyard. After what we’d been through, everything about it was perfect in my eyes. I never understood the snickering when the bus dropped me off in front of the gates after school.
After the shelter, my family moved into a public housing project in Harlingen, Texas. Our new home had a Boys & Girls Club right there — turns out, there are more than 250 Boys & Girls Clubs in public housing across the nation.
On my very first day at the Boys & Girls Club, I got in a fight with another kid and immediately got in trouble. As you can imagine, back then I always had my guard up and was quick to anger. I vowed not to go back, even as my siblings continued to go to the Club every day, telling me all the fun stuff they were doing.
A Place of Kindness and Opportunity
My mom broke my stubborn streak and brought me back to Club. There, we met with Hilda, the Club director. My mom shared the obstacles our family had been facing. Hilda took me under her wing and from that moment on she became my mentor and support system.
My Boys & Girls Club felt like an opportunity to be a brand-new person. I had been feeling angry and anxious for as long as I could remember, but experiencing kindness at the Club made me crave more kindness. If this was the way people treated me when I listened, when I followed the rules, when I was nice to others — then that’s exactly what I would do every single day from then on.
I attended Boys & Girls Clubs of Harlingen daily for the next nine years. Everyone grew to know me and wanted to help me achieve my goals. From the staff to my peers, to the youngest kids, they became my mentors, my friends and my biggest cheering squad.
Hilda in particular was passionate about developing Club kids’ writing and public speaking skills from an early age. Many times, she organized Club competitions where we would write essays or give speeches to a panel of judges made up of alumni from the Club or adults in the community. When I wasn’t participating in (and winning!) those competitions, I was usually writing, reading or drawing.
I also found ways to give back to my community through Keystone Club, our Boys & Girls Club teen leadership development program. My favorite event that we hosted was the annual Thanksgiving Day dinner, where we’d all serve a meal to the public housing community.
As I got older, I realized how much I enjoyed leading activities for the younger kids and looking out for little ones who reminded me of myself on my first day at the Club. Hilda, again, noticed my potential as a leader, and by age 15, I had my first job as a junior staff member at the Club.
The more involved I got at the Club, the more I enjoyed it. The happiness I felt overflowed into other areas of my life. I became a straight A+ student, president of my high school’s National Honor Society and took dual-enrollment college classes. I was finally on my way to becoming the person I wanted to be.
My siblings loved their time at the Club, too. My older brother loved to get in the game, whether it was basketball, pool or video games. My quieter middle sister expressed herself through arts and crafts while my youngest sister danced along to Zumba videos and participated in “Just Dance” video game tournaments. It was truly a place where all of us could have fun in our own ways.
And for me? My favorite part of my Boys & Girls Club was Hilda, the woman who took me under her wing.
Not Settling for Being a Statistic
While my days at the Boys & Girls Club and at school had gotten brighter, at home our situation was still difficult. Our family relied on public housing and survived off food stamps. Life was hard and I was furious at the injustice of our every day.
Hilda, my mentor at the Club, told me to never see myself as a statistic. She told me not to give into any expectations I thought the world had for someone like me.
Hilda believed with all her heart that I would break the cycle of generational poverty in my family. That gave me the confidence to prove her right.
I began using my voice to advocate for my experiences. I spoke at city commission meetings and strengthened my public speaking skills. I wrote my story and shared it with thousands of people on my journey to becoming Boys & Girls Clubs of America’s Southwest Youth of the Year in 2021, representing all the kids in my region. I graduated from high school with a 4.0 GPA and got scholarships to go to college.
More people believe in me now than ever before (myself included), but one of them got it all started — Hilda. To this day, it’s hard to imagine where I’d be if I had never met her.
Hearing someone tell you, “I support you” is one thing, but Hilda would always follow up with, “Here’s how I’m going to support you. Here’s what I know you’re capable of and you’re going to achieve it.”
She was my guardian angel and continues to be a big part of my life. Whenever I need help moving into my college apartments, Hilda is the person I call. And when my college friends ask about her, I tell them she’s my aunt because, honestly, that’s what she’s become: family.
Creating Brighter Futures — For Every Kid Who Grew Up Like Me
Because the Boys & Girls Club was there for me, my future is now defined by my achievements not my hardships.
I’m now in college, studying public relations with a minor in business and a certificate in computer science. I plan to continue my education, working to become a lawyer equipped to fight against family violence.
It breaks my heart knowing that there are so many kids out there with stories similar to mine. Kids who are drowning in anger, sadness and misery, wondering “why is this happening to me?” I used to be one of them. Now, I want to change their outlook on life and support them in recognizing their potential, too. That’s why I want to be a lawyer.
I’m an advocate for youth mental health with plans to enact solutions that combat child abuse and neglect. I also want to connect families with limited income to shelters and counseling facilities.
When life at home was unpredictable, I felt safe, supported and loved at my Boys & Girls Club. Now, I walk confidently into whatever room I’m entering. I stay motivated when something challenges me; I know there’s nothing I can’t do given how far I’ve already come.
Through BGCA’s partnership with RAINN — the nation’s leading organization dedicated to abuse prevention, awareness and response — Boys & Girls Clubs provide caregivers with safety resources to support abuse prevention. If a young person you know is experiencing abuse, act now and find support by examining Boys & Girls Clubs of America’s parent safety resources.
Ignite the Potential of Tomorrow’s Leaders & Change-makers
Boys & Girls Clubs of America provides caring adult mentors and life-shaping programs to millions of kids and teens each year. In safe, inclusive places, youth build the skills and resilience to thrive in school, the workplace and in life. Join us on our mission of helping all young people reach their full potential:
