Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Upset At My Friend Who Didn’t Bring A Birthday Present?
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I had my birthday party at a movie theater, where tickets, snacks, lunch, and drinks were all paid for
Image credits: Myke Simon (not the actual photo)
It was quite expensive and welled up to around $250 or more dollars for a party consisting of 8 people including me.
My friends arrive at the given time and when (let’s call her Sand) Sand gets here I notice she is empty-handed
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
All the other party guests had brought some sort of gift, which I am very grateful for, so I was a bit confused when she didn’t have anything. Sand is not broke or poor and I know she can afford some sort of token of appreciation.
This was on a Sunday so I thought “Oh, maybe she just forgot the gift at home and will bring it to me on Monday, no big deal”
Image credits: Ekaterina Shevchenko (not the actual photo)
She gets out of her car and comes up to the group where all of us are waiting before the movie starts and says a quick “happy birthday” to me and just stands there.
Anyway, the party was fun, and fast-forward to school on Monday. Still nothing from her. At lunch, I decided to try something. I thank a friend for a gift in front of her and I say to Sand, “Thanks for coming! I really liked your gift… wait, what did you bring again? I can’t remember for some reason… *Puts on my best thinking face*” then Sand has the nerve to look at me with a smile and say in an embarrassed tone, “Oh, I didn’t bring anything, sorry *Insert my name*.”
At this point, I just say “wowww” in a joking tone because I’m a nice person and I don’t wanna act like a spoiled brat but idk what to do. AITA?
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Sorry Ryna but yeah. It's one thing to feel a bit disappointed/puzzled that your friend didn't think to bring a gift, but friends don't owe tribute - and the passive-aggressive fake question after is definitely what BP likes to call a [jerk] move. A transactional attitude to friendship ain't great and now you've communicated to your friend that she owed you payment for being included. I'd say you have a bit of thinking to do about that.
Are you 12? If you're an adult, then does it really matter that your friend didn't get you a birthday gift? If you are an adult and you consider Sand a good friend, you shouldn't "need" or even expect a birthday gift. Also, what does it matter that Sand is not "broke or poor" and could "afford SOME sort of token of appreciation"? A token of appreciation of what - the royal blessing of your friendship?
Yeah, she might be twelve; she mentioned lunch at school. I can’t remember whether kids REQUIRED presents at every birthday when I was a kid, but I *do* remember that I was told not to EXPECT presents. I always got ‘em until I grew up, and now, of course, they’re optional, but I get the impression that yes, this kid expects a present. From everyone.
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Sorry Ryna but yeah. It's one thing to feel a bit disappointed/puzzled that your friend didn't think to bring a gift, but friends don't owe tribute - and the passive-aggressive fake question after is definitely what BP likes to call a [jerk] move. A transactional attitude to friendship ain't great and now you've communicated to your friend that she owed you payment for being included. I'd say you have a bit of thinking to do about that.
Are you 12? If you're an adult, then does it really matter that your friend didn't get you a birthday gift? If you are an adult and you consider Sand a good friend, you shouldn't "need" or even expect a birthday gift. Also, what does it matter that Sand is not "broke or poor" and could "afford SOME sort of token of appreciation"? A token of appreciation of what - the royal blessing of your friendship?
Yeah, she might be twelve; she mentioned lunch at school. I can’t remember whether kids REQUIRED presents at every birthday when I was a kid, but I *do* remember that I was told not to EXPECT presents. I always got ‘em until I grew up, and now, of course, they’re optional, but I get the impression that yes, this kid expects a present. From everyone.
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